A few random thoughts which occurred to me during the Super Bowl:
1. The ‘safety’ has to be the funnest signal in football. The quaterback gets backed up anywhere near the end zone and suddenly everyone in the stadium, including 300 something lbs linebackers are standing with their hands over their heads like genies. Some people signal first downs, other people see holding and grab their wrists, but everyone signals for a safety! It is so much fun!
2. I wonder if when a football player makes a huge play and points up to Jesus, he points back at them?
3. Are Omar Epps and Mike Tomlin twins? Do they know each other? Do their mom’s look alike? Have they ever run into each other and thought “Holy Sh*t! You look just like me!?”
4. Just when I thought that saying Palamalu was the coolest name in the Super Bowl, I discovered Coach Wizenhut
5. When Ben Patrick scored a touchdown for the Cards, he was the first 7th round choice to score a touchdown in a Super Bowl since 2005. Is that a significant statistic? Who comes up with those and how are they so readily available? Before the game do they hand the announcers a paper that says “In the event that Ben Patrick scores, say this…”
6. I am discriminating against certain touchdown celebrations. I don’t mind seeing a traditional chest bump or high five. Some guys do a celebration that looks like lunges and I don’t mind that either. Heck, if you just ran 50 yards and you aren’t tired, please, go ahead, do some lunges. I find it disturbing however, when a grown man who regularly smashes his body into 300lb men suddenly gets twinkle toes and ballerinas his flapping arms around the end zone. Then again, if I were to score an NFL touchdown, they wouldn’t have enough flags for the excessive celebrations I would draw. I would be dancing for hours, provided I could still breathe. They would have to carry me off the field.
7. If I had control over the telestrator, I would not be able to resist drawing mustaches on people and writing inappropriate speech bubbles.
8. Can you seriously not review the last play of the Superbowl to see if its a forward pass or fumble?
Either way, congrats Pittsburgh! I look forward to all the Steelers won the Super Bowl songs!!!
If I can’t watch the Giants win, I wanna see the Eagles lose! And this week, I owe that to the Arizona Cardinals. While enjoying the demise of McNabb and the Filthadelphia Eagles, I noticed 2 draft worthy men on the field. Check ‘em out! Draftee #4: More Men Should be Like, Adrian Wilson
ADRIAN WILSON NFL TEAM: Arizona Cardinals POSITION: Strong Safety (no, there is no such thing as “weak safety”) AGE: 29 HEIGHT: 6'3" WEIGHT: 230 lbs
More Men should be like Adrian Wilson. Not only because he is my first-ever, non-quarterback draftee, but because he’s loyal and doesn't just look for what's "easy."
Wilson was a strong safety for NC State and he was drafted in the 3rd round of the NFL draft by the Arizona Cardinals. He is now the longest tenured Arizona Cardinal, ever. When asked about spending 8 years with the Cards, Wilson said, “I would never abandon my team because they were losing…even if it means I never go to the Super Bowl!” Wilson stood by his team, who hasn’t seen the Super Bowl in 61 years, even though it would be easier to jump to a team, which was well on their way. So now, it is that much sweeter for Adrian, to be hoping a plane to Tampa, with the team that believed in him and he believed in, when no one else did. Those of you wondering if Adrian Wilson had no choice but to be a Cardinal… After returning both a recovered fumble and interception, he is the first defensive player in NFL history with two touchdowns of 99+ yards in the same season; also only NFL player ever with multiple 99-yarders without the benefit of a kickoff return. He led the Cardinals in interceptions, forced fumbles, fumble recoveries, tackles for a loss and was third in tackles and fourth in sacks. His 8.0 sacks in 2005 were the most in NFL history by a defensive back since sacks became an official statistic in 1982 and also led the team. And ADRIAN OPTED NOT TO BECOME AN UNRESTRICTED FREE AGENT and stood by his Arizona Cardinals.
During Adrian’s post-game interview this Sunday, a tear streamed from his eye and he said, “we have been through so much together…”
Wilson gets drafted for his loyalty, faith, perseverance and commitment to his team, where most men would simply take the “easy way.” Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.
But just like everyone else, there is another side to Adrian Wilson…THE BACK SIDE!
Draftee #5: Kurt “I used to be a NY GIANT” Warner KURT WARNER NFL TEAM: Arizona Cardinals POSITION: Quarterback (“Ladies, Matt Leinert carries my clipboard!”) AGE: 37 HEIGHT: 6’2” WEIGHT: 220lbs.
Kurt Warner is a complicated man and as incredibly persistant as his teammate. After his college career at Northern Iowa, he attended the Green Bay Packers training camp, but was released before the regular season. He worked as a stock boy at a local grocery store, while trying to get noticed. With no NFL teams willing to give him a chance, he signed with the Iowa Barnstormers in the Arena Football league. In 1998, Warner was signed by the St. Louis Rams, NFL Europe team, Amsterdam Admirals. (His back up was Jake Delhomme.) Finally, when Ram’s quarterback Trent Green was injured in a preseason game, Warner took over as the starter and completed one of the top seasons by a quarterback in NFL history, whch dubbed the Ram’s offense, "The Greatest Show on Turf" and registered the first in a string of three consecutive 500-point seasons, an NFL record. He was named NFL MVP and Super Bowl MVP when he led the Rams to a Super Bowl XXXIV victory over the Titans. (That was all in his first year!) Warner made another Super Bowl appearance before becoming a NY FOOTBALL GIANT and is now making his 3rd with the Arizona Cardinals. Their first in 61 years. It’s rare of me to draft someone over the age of 30 (ehh, maybe 32), but it is also rare for a man of 37 to age as well as Kurt Warner. (And he's rockin the 5 o'clock shadow just like the youngsters!) Plus, I am pretty sure he could pick up girls with the line "You know Matt Leinert? He carries MY clipboard!" You would never guess that he is older than Brett Favre.
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE DRAFTING KURT WARNER: He's married, to a woman with children. But before you start telling Mr. Warner how he needs a younger woman without children, because women 35 and older become “scientifically” desperate and will lower their standards to marry pretty much anyone. (So if a woman 35 or older likes you…don’t be too impressed, according to studies, she’d like almost anyone! Whew! I got a few years left!) or that women with children are twice as likely to marry someone they don't love...that total tangent won't talk Mr. Warner out of his love story...
Kurt married Brenda Meoni, the woman who believed in him as a grocery bagger. Warner officially adopted Brenda's two children, son Zachary and daughter Jesse, after their marriage. The Warners also have 5 children of their own: sons Elijah and Kade, daughter Jada, and twin girls Sierra Rose and Sienna Rae.
Well, for the New York Giants, it’s Tiffany & Co. white gold, 3 Super Bowl trophies accented with marquise diamonds signifying the team’s Super Bowl XXI, XXV and XLII victories, along with the team’s “NY” logo in bead set round diamonds. “World Champions” is emblazoned in raised letters on the top and bottom bezel, with channel set diamonds on left and right bezel. The ring’s shanks celebrate the Giants’ storybook season leading up to Super Bowl Sunday. “Eleven Straight on the Road,” an NFL record; the NFL shield; player name, along with player number in raised letters appear on one shank; and the final score (NYG 17 NE 14), “Super Bowl XLII,” date (02.03.08) and ‘AZ’ appear on the other shank.
For the Indianapolis Colts, it’s a much simpler, yet meaningful design, containing 50 diamonds and synthetic blue sapphire. There's the word "Faith" on one shank, and on the opposite shank is the phrase "Our time.” A dot of red enamel found on each of the players' rings, forming one rivet in a small horseshoe. The red symbolizes a drop of blood, emblematic of players "leaving it all on the field.”
For the Pittsburgh Steelers, was probably the “simplest” of rings, but with just as much meaning, given it was “the one for the thumb.” It contains five Vince Lombardi trophies in dazzling diamonds around the Steelers' logo on the front and featured yellow gold. It contained each player's name and number on the side, the 21-10 score of the game and the numeral XL. Not as flashy as some of the others, but just as meaningful, I am sure.
The New England Patriotss most recent ring, has a total of 124 diamonds and an approximate weight of 4.94 carats. Flanking the center structure of the ring are the words "WORLD" on the left and "CHAMPIONS" on the right in high cut-out relief with a black-antiqued background. Each word contains twenty-six 0.005 carat round brilliant-cut pave-set diamonds equaling .26 carats total weight. The center of the ring is a football-shaped motif with three Lombardi trophies and the Patriots team emblem embellished with a red and blue translucent simulated stone background. The border of the Patriot emblem contains twenty-one .01 carat round brilliant-cut pave-set diamonds representing twenty-one straight wins. There is one .005 carat round diamond set in the simulated sapphire helmet reflecting the vision and focus of the organization. And that is just the top of the ring…
But for the Philadelphia Eagles, well, they got this… an empty phone call to the SUPERBOWL CHAMPION NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANT'S booth. (Hope it was worth it, McNabb, it’s the only ring your getting this season!)
McNabb, picked up the phone on his last drive against the REIGNING WORLD CHAMPION NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS (how many more times am I going to get to say that?) and made a phone call. Hmmm…wonder what was said?
“Hello? Is this the NFL? I am just calling to find out…’can the NFC Championship game end in a tie?’”
“Hey mom! Guess what? I finally beat Eli Manning! No mom, I didn’t get a Super bowl ring. Yes mom, I know he has one. Yes, I have been in the league 10 years…I know Eli won one in his 4th season… I gotta go, mom!”
“Hi! Whoever this is, I am just calling to remind everyone that even after 10 seasons, I am still an immature ******* and the Eagles are still a classless establishment without any Super bowl rings, so I have to celebrate where I can.”
“Hello, Giant’s booth? I was hoping if you could tell me how to win a super bowl!?”
Sure, McNabb apologized. Actually, he said he was just having fun. "That was the most important thing we had to get back to, just having fun."
Did you have fun this week McNabb? I didn’t see you making any phone calls from the Arizona sideline. I didn’t see any bird dances. No flapping arms… but, maybe it was all that red and white confetti in the way and I couldn’t see.
Cardinals over Eagles, 32-25! Thanks Cards!
Yes, there was another game on. Both the Ravens and the Steelers have Super Bowl rings, however, the Pittsburgh Steelers will be looking for number 6 (which has no cool name like 'one for the thumb') against the Arizona Cardinals. I have a feeling the Steelers are going to be favored, but I am going with the Cards, all the way!
*Thanks for all the emails about the College Football post. Unfortunately, I can't possibly keep up with watching and writing about every NFL and NCAA football game, all season. Sadly, entertaining ya'll doesn't pay very much. But I will try and sneak in some more College Football, whenever I can. Promise.
I know they say not to mix politics...well, with anything but is there really anything College Football doesn't go with? (Except maybe, Notre Dame!)Even politics...
...and yes, Republican's have hearts, you just haven't figured out how to get to them, yet...
On that note, the following conversation has been recreated for your reading pleasure.
DEMOCRAT FRIEND("FRIEND"): Thursday we say goodbye to George Bush, he is giving his farewell speech. MONDAY MORNING CHEERLEADER ("ME"): Yeah well...2009 has been a bit of a "poop" year so far so why not throw in a new Pres. FRIEND: So you actually liked George Bush? ME: Well, he made me laugh and to be honest, I haven't really liked a single Presidential candidate since I have been able to vote. FRIEND: Not even Clinton? Come on, everyone liked Clinton. ME: I'm a Republican. And he doesn't count anyway, I couldn't vote back then. FRIEND: Wait a minute. How many election could you vote in? ME: Haha. Just these last two. FRIEND: Maybe I can recruit you, then. Have you heard Obama talk? The other night he talked about everything from Income Redistribution to how he wants BCS playoffs. ME: I don't think so. I am not buying into this steal from the rich and give to the poor stuff. I mean, I don't want people to suffer, but you can't just take money from people who earned it and give it to people who...I am sorry, did you say, BCS Playoffs? FRIEND: Yes, but you were talking about the redistribution of wealth... ME: How do I feel about Obama’s redistribution of wealth? Well...I think that there should be an eight or twelve team playoff at the end of the regular college football season. Enough with the “strength of schedule, divided by the number of games played at home, over home games against non-conference teams with less than 10 point differential. GIVE ME PLAYOFFS! FRIEND: Okay, but how's that related to taxing the higher income brackets? ME: Who the heck cares about income brackets, when you have NCAA Football Playoff Brackets? What have rich people done for me lately? I don’t lay awake at night wondering if Bill Gates is gonna lose a few million of his billions, but I do wonder, “Is Florida really better than USC?”“What will happen if Penn State goes undefeated and there are 2 other undefeated teams in the BCS?” “Why did Bowling Green play on the Wednesday after New Years Day?” "When will the Big Ten get to play some respectable teams, so we can get our credibility back?" Now, those questions are TAXING!
So, here is the real question: WHY DIDN’T OBAMA RUN WITH COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS AS HIS PLATFORM? The man is "Pro Playoffs" and "Anti Co-champs!" Why didn't he just say so? If he would have run with those as his platform, I would have had no further questions. Whatever he does to the economy, we can fix that later, but the damage done by the BCS Shenanigans can never be undone. I am a Nittany Lion, first...Republican, later.
"I think it is about time we had playoffs in college football, I'm fed up with these computer rankings and this and that and the other. Get eight teams -- the top eight teams right at the end. You got a playoff. Decide on a national champion." “I don’t know any serious fan of college football who has disagreed with me on this, I’m going to throw my weight around a little bit. I think it’s the right thing to do.” -Barack Obama
Now you see, that’s “change I can believe in!”
What did the men behind the curtain, at the good ol' BCS, have to say about Obama’s Playoff System suggestion?
"We deeply respect the president-elect and we are glad that he is a fan of college football, we have the most compelling regular season in all of sports, and I'm sure that contributes to Senator Obama's enjoyment of our great game." "My colleagues and I on the BCS Presidential Oversight Committee have discussed the future of postseason football on many occasions and we do not believe a playoff would be in the best interest of the sport, the student-athletes or our many other constituencies." -BCS President, David Frohnmayer
Wait. What was the answer? Why can’t we have a playoff system in college football?
This BCS geezer was asked about having a BCS playoff system and he neutralized the hostility by welcoming the questioner, then drew our attention to the positive aspects of the current system, the regular season. When got to the question, he assured us that those, who are far more qualified to handle the situation, have discussed the issue and decided it is not our best interest. (By "many other constituencies" he means, his pockets!)And I still don’t know WHY WE CAN’T HAVE PLAYOFFS?
Hmmmm....who is the politician now? ...Well, if the ALL-KNOWING Commies (I meant that to be short for Committees) of the BCS say it is in our best interest, who are we to question what they have already decided is best for us?
So what if the coaches suggest a playoff system, every season, when the BCS's "b*tch team of the season" is left out of a bowl game? Or if Matt Leinert (student-athlete) wore a "BCS Sucks" shirt (You can get a BCSucks shirt, HERE). How would he know what is in his own best interest?
We should all be more like this guy, right?
So what is my plan for college football? Simple, throw out the formulas and divide the BCS into 8 or 12 Conferences. The team that wins each conference goes to the playoffs. You don’t win your conference, you don’t go to the playoffs. If you are not in a conference...JOIN ONE, NOTRE DAME! Highest seeded team plays the lowest until there are 2 teams left. Those 2 teams play in the Championship game.
The Fiesta Bowl and the Orange Bowl, etc. become "playoff bowls." BCS still makes their big bucks, no undefeated team gets left behind and everyone is happy.
Sure there are a few things that need to be worked out...but the current BCS system resulted in 2 one-loss teams playing for the Championship, while an undefeated Utah wasn't even considered. Utah entered the Bowl Series ranked Number 6, with Texas at Number 3 (who did not win their conference) and then the Utes spanked Alabama in their Bowl game. Do I think Utah should be number one? No. Am I sure? No. (Do you know what will eliminate any doubt of who is number one? PLAYOFFS!) So it makes me wonder, when people say that "Playoffs" is not the answer, what exactly is the question...
Do you know how they currently decide teams play for the Championship? (of course not, no one does!) The BCS formula is comprised by 5 components. The average ranking in the AP and ESPN coach's poll, an average ranking of the best four of six computer polls, the number of losses, a strength of schedule factor, and a quality wins factor. Huh?
(How do we eliminate the confusion? PLAYOFFS!)
Do you know how the AP Polls are decided? Some random guys, who admit to only watching select games throughout the season, actually vote on their favorite team for number one. On ESPN Radio, 2 AP voters admitted they had never seen Utah play all season and one voter, couldn't remember if he had seen them. I remember every game I watched all season. Get some game tape, buddy! (How do we eliminate the need for that guys opinion? PLAYOFFS!)
Do you know how any one of the six computer polls are calculated? (Because they never agree with the voter polls) This one I can't answer. I tried to read the basic formula for just one, but they lost me somewhere around "integral calculus" and "linear algebra." (Which was on page one of twenty three!) If they are really playing "rock, paper, scissors" and threw those therms in there to scare me into accepting these computer guys as geniuses...they were successful. (There's no math in law school!)Plus...
(How do we eliminate the need for the terms "integral calculus" and "linear algebra" in our lives? PLAYOFFS!)
We haven't gotten to the AP, ESPN or other computer systems, yet... do you still wanna know how they decide which teams play in the Championship? Yup, and you wonder why UF plays every year...it pays to have a young able-bodied coach in those tie-breakers! Looks like "playoffs" is quite often the answer, to me.
Does all this mean, I am a democrat, now? Absolutely not. (But I am a college football fan!) So, if you wondering how to get Republicans to support our new President in his quest for "Change." The answer is once again... COLLEGE FOOTBALL PLAYOFFS!
As far as the redistribution of wealth... I support it 100%, if it means redistributing Anquan Boldin to the New York Giants. The Cardinals already have Larry Fitzgerald.
Note: In the above post, the meaning of the term "college football" is limited to refer only to Division I and is, at no time, intended to include the lower divisions of college football, which already have a playoff system in place.
