NFL Recap Week Fourteen: It's Been a Long Time

I know. I know. I haven’t written in a while. I am sure you are all thinking that it’s because the Giants have been losing, but I was away for Thanksgiving, my brother got married and I’ve been packing up my belongings for a move… and who am I kidding, it is hard to write a blog about football when your football team is losing every week.

Let’s try and see what I have missed since week 10.

I guess I can’t avoid it, the New York Giants got spanked on several occasions, but let’s look at the bright side, this week Eli had zero interceptions (they did fumble four times), we figured out why we have Hakeem Nix on the team with 110 yards receiving and New York did go in front 31-30, when Domenik Hixon broke two tackles for a 61-yard, catch-and-run score and even after a big play, they didn’t quit. They scored again for 38 total points! (Eagles had 45) Did I mention Eli threw for 391 yards? (My little boy is growing up!) But not matter how bad a Giant’s team…they can still beat the Dallas Cowgirl and we will always have that to smile about!

Plus, who needs to win the NFC East (I DO!) when you can be on the Simpsons. (Isn’t that what the Eagles say about Super Bowls? Who needs them?)


Poor Cooper. While we are on the subject of Mannings, Eli’s bog bro, Peyton remains undefeated.

And I would imagine his conversation before the game, went something like this…



Yeah, that’s right, Peyton “laser rocket arm” Manning, threw three picks this week, but just to be safe, he also threw 4 touchdown passes breaking NFL records for most consecutive regular-season wins (22) and most wins in a decade (114), plus beating the Broncos 16-28 and wrapping up home-field advantage throughout the AFC playoffs. Yup. Just like that.

The New Orleans Saints also remain undefeated, but by the skin of their teeth. (Do we have skin on our teeth?) After almost losing to the Redskins in OT (as if it isn’t embarrassing enough to be in OT with Washington), the Saints skimmed passed the Falcons this week in a 26-26 win. Did I mention, Atlanta was playing without Matty Ice (how can that not be your favorite NFL nickname?) and some other star guy? A W is a W, but New Orleans is scarping together wins…let’s face it Brees, you are just not a Manning.

After losing Big Ben to a concussion and their back up guy, whose name I never knew, to a broken wrist in the same game, the Steelers were pretty much opening up for fan participation day. Big Ben sat out due to a fear for his due to previous concussions, but he’s back and apparently no one told the O-line about the need to protect Ben’s head. Steelers lost their fifth straight game to the Cleveland freakin Browns. (it’s like when the Eagles lost to the Raiders…remember that? Hahaha!) and Roethlisberger was sacked 8 times, but don’t worry, he’s been sacked 9 before. Seriously, that can’t be good for that concussion thing he has going on. Put the fliers back up guys! 6-13, Browns.


(It isn't mean. Jeff Garcia has played every where...and done nothing)

The Bills beat the Chiefs and the Vikings beat the Bengals, but Ihate Brett Favre and I don’t care. Moving on…

Remember the Sanchise? The cute little name the Jets gave their team after 2 wins with Mark Sanchez…you know, before they went on a losing streak? Well, you know what the Jets needed to break that losing streak? To lose the Sanchise! Kellen Clemens (who???), the guy who was supposed to take Pennington's, place before Favre and Favre’s place, before Sanchez, led the other NY team to a 26-3 victory over the Bucs. If you overlook the fact that they were playing Tampa Bay, it seems impressive for a first ever start. ($5 if you can name the Bucs quaterback!)

Tom who? The Pats lost to Miami last week and again this week to Caronlina. Looking a lot less like an 18 AND ONE quaterback this season…blame the super models that keep poppin’ out his kids. Giselle gave birth to Tom’s second son with a super model and they are having trouble coming up with a name…hmm…son of Tom Brady and Giselle? How about “I’m gonna be hot and rich” Brady?

Ravens over Lions 48-3. Texans over Seahawks, 34-7. Titans over Rams, 47-7. No surprises there!

But I’ve got great news, the Redskin beat the Raiders 34-14. Why is that great news? Because it means the Eagles are the only team in the NFC East to lose to the Raiders. And “Oakland Raiders?” has become my favorite line of the season. Although, Philly’s also first in the NFC East, so…I guess it isn’t as great as I thought, but you know what is?

The Cowgirls lost to the Chargers. After Dallas’s kicker blamed several missed field goals on faulty ball handling by the snap holder, the Cowgirls decided to return to Romo as the holder. Did they forget why they replaced Romo as holder in the first place? On 4th and goals before the half, Dallas sets up for a field goal….the ball is snapped…and the hold is bobbled. Seriously Romo, you are still doing that? 20-17, Chargers.

NFL Recap: Weeks 9 and 10 (Re-post)

Oops! Forgot one pic. Re-post!

Week 9 just happens to be the toughest week of the season for me. It doesn’t always fall on week nine, but it always falls when the Eagles play the Cowgirls. I’ve gotta root for someone, and it takes all that I have to say “Go Dallas.” (I really means, so Dallas, just far enough to beat the Eagles and hopefully injure a few key players on each team, while you’re at it). But I guess as good as it can be 20-16 Dallas.

This season, however, I got to skip the gut wrenching feeling of having to root for anything related to Jerry Jones because I was in Disney World. But even in the most magical place on earth, on Sunday…it is a football day!



So in case you were wondering where Brandon Jacobs and Eli Manning were in over time against the Chargers…they were parking their stroller to get on the Nemo Ride at Epcot. I didn’t see Antonio Gates in line, needless to say 20-21, Chargers.



I saw Jerod Mayo and Logan Mankins from New England at the Food and Wine festival, but since the Pats were playing the Dolphins Mayo’s vacation wasn’t a problem, who needs D? And I don’t know who Mankins is, so he probably wasn’t missed….surprised they even sell his jersey. 17-27, New England



Barber was out there, too. No, the other Barber, from the Tampa Bay Bucs. However, since the Bucs have been off since week one, it is no wonder he is headed towards Epcots “Future World” sign. Perhaps he wants to know if Tampa Bay will ever win a game…oh wait! They won this week! I was so used to them losing, I just assumed. Maybe he is going to find out if he will ever be traded…to ANYONE! 38-28 Bucs over Pac.


Week 9
Then I saw this guy, and I was a little confused. Until I remembered “hey buddy, #29 on the Titans is some guy named Ryan Mouton. Don’t run out and buy a new jersey too fast, now!” But good news…Titans beat the Niners 34-27.



I saw a Randy Moss jersey, which is understandable because there hasn’t been a jersey worth buying on the Raiders since Randy Moss. Who are they gonna buy? Jamarcus Russel? (Actually we saw one of those, but I didn’t wanna embarrass the guy!) However, Oakland didn’t play this week…not that they play any week, but this week there was no game scheduled. Not that it is any different to a Raider fan!



There were several Peyton Mannings, but Peyton is a football God. He doesn’t need to be on the field to win…6’4”, 230lbs, laser rocket arm…he can throw from anywhere. Remaining undefeated like the excellent specimen of football perfection he is, Colts over Texans. 17-20.



A much lighter, chubbier Reggie Bush was headed to get his picture taken with a Disney Princess, wearing his headphones. Who wears headphones at Disney? Afraid someone might talk to you? Perhaps listening to the game? Still undefeated. Saints over Panther 20-30.

But perhaps the most surprising...who wears a KC jersey, in public?



Week 10

A week without the Giants isn’t really a football week, but good news…they didn’t lose again! So, things are looking up for my G-men. Let’s hope a week off, is all they need.

LaDainian Tomlinson, returned just in time to run up with 96 yards, two touchdowns, against “the Birds” (as if there weren’t any other birds in the NFL). 31-23, San Diego. But don’t worry the Eagle’s fans kept it class, as usual.


The Packers sacked Romo five times and held him to 251 yards passing in serious loss for the Cowgirls. That’s a lot of sacking, but if Jessica isn’t doing it anymore, someone’s gotta, right? 17-7, Green Bay.


(Yes, Romo always keeps his hat on and the Green Bay guy was cold...gimme a break!)

Which means the only NFC East team to bring home a win was Washington, that’s right, the Skins. I checked several times, several sources, but yes, it did happen. Called hell, temperature still pretty hot, so it must have been a fluke. It is okay to relax. 27-20 over Denver.

The Bengals surprised the Steelers, yet again with a sweep of Pittsburgh, which is just embarrassing. It is like losing to the Raiders, twice. Doesn’t happen. Maybe we should start calling him “Medium Ben?” “Not Quite as Big Ben?” 18-12, Cincy.
Then there were a series of games that were just pointless…

Miami-Tampa Bay. 25-23, Phins.

Chicago San-Fran. 10-6, Niners.

Then again, if you watched Chicago, you did get to see the Jay Cutler interception show. It looked a lot like this.

AND THIS...

AND THIS...

OH, AND THIS...


Minnesota-Detroit (okay, I just didn’t feel like writing about Favre)27-10, Favres.

And then there was the most overhyped game of the season.

Colts-Patriots or more commonly known as Manning-Brady. And as it should this regular season Super Bowl came down to one final play….unfortunately it was a bone-head call by a coach. Patriots, up by 6 faced a fourth-and-2 from their own 28-yard line with 2 minutes, 8 seconds to play. Surely, they are going to punt. Have a little faith in the defense and hold the Colts with just 2 minutes…after all, they held them off the entire game.

Then the craziest thing happened. Belichick called his punt team off the field, who appeared just as surprised as I did. What the heck is this guy thinking? Have faith in your coach right? He lead you to 18 AND ONE, surely he knows what he is doing. Maybe he has a trick play or a plan to draw the defense offsides…

Uhhhhhh, nope. Just a regularly old pass play. Ball snapped, Brady back, ball bobbled and caught it short of the first down. Colts ball. You would have thought it was me, playing Madden on Xbox (I go for it on 4th and anything, from anywhere).
Four plays later, Manning to Wayne for an inevitable touchdown giving the Colts a 35-34 victory over the Pats.

What was Belichick thinking? Someone needs to check his fantasy team!

**NOTE: There was no spell check or editing this week. Give me a break, it was a double issue and at least I got the weeks right this time! haha.

NFL Recap: Week Seven

Before I start, I would like to take a moment of silence for the tragedy that occurred this weekend…

Yes, I am talking about the Giants-Eagles game. It was terrible. It was sad. It was tragic. And at a time like this, I would usually do what any other Giants fan would do (no, not make excuses, that’s what Eagles do)…I would turn to the Dallas Cowgirls. But I can’t, because they played the Seahawks this week, which undoubtedly means, they won (17-38, Dallas). Which leaves me with….

“Eli!!! Your team is wearing white jerseys! Throw to the white jerseys! What is wrong with you?” “Tuck? Where were you? Have too many Eagles on your fantasy team? I hope you didn’t draft yourself, because you didn’t do a damn thing!!!”



That explains why you dropped that interception!

But what about the rest of the defense? Do they know the season isn ‘t over yet? I haven’t seen them in 3 games! You can’t possibly have everyone on your fantasy team. Did you forget how to play?

I know one play you didn’t forget…running Jacobs up the middle. If it didn’t work the first 500 times, it isn’t going to work the 501st. Call another play! Any other play! Call a freakin’ flea flicker, I don’t care...but that one isn’t working!!!! Fake field goal? Just not Jacobs! 17-40, Eagles. So, how bout them Yankees?

After the G-men, I wasn’t much in the mood for football, but there were several games, I am sure that no one watched.

Good news for St. Louis. The Rams won, in the only way they possibly could…they played the Lions. With one win each, both teams are probably done for the season. Good talk guys, see ya next year!

Cleveland and Denver weren’t in the mood for football either.

After 2 straight losses the Bears needed some practice, and who better to do it against than the Browns. But any offensive effort was a waste of energy…with 5 turnovers for Cleveland, all the Bears really had to do was stand around and watch the Browns lose. In fact, the Browns were so desperate, they put Quinn back in. Yeah, that’s gonna be an improvement! Put ME in coach!!!! (6-30, Chicago).

The unbeated Broncos took a day off against the Baltimore Ravens. When asked what happened, Kyle Orton said “we really didn’t do all that much.” Really? Ya think? (7-30, Baltimore).

Brett Favre and what ever team he plays for this week, returned to Green Bay and of course, the media (who didn’t mention Favre’s loss last week) made the old man look like a hero. I can’t be the only one who hates this guy. If I lived in Green Bay, I’d be waiting by Favre’s hotel, with my foot out! But instead the lovely Packers fans voted on “tasteful” ways to Welcome Fav-ruh home!

The Cheese-heads had several good ideas.

*Play a video of all of Favre’s interceptions over the years. (My favorite)
*Make a huge waffle, in the shape of a 4. (Get it. Waffle- in ability to make a decision).
* Hang him in effigy outside Lambeau Field. ( That might not fit the mayor’s definition of “tasteful.”)

What would I have done? (Besides handed out my “Favre, throughout the Tears” post, where I highlight all the time he has cried. ) I would have let Aaron Rodgers wear the number 4.

I can see the NFL's oldest cry baby now!

They did make nice shirts though.


Tennessee over Jacksonville, 13-30. But the best part of that game was a toss up between Gus Johnson saying Chris Johnson ran “like he was being chased by the cops” on his TD run and the awkward silence that followed it. Good call, buddy!

NFL Recap: Halloween Edition (Week Seven)

I know, I have never been quite this late, but it’s Halloween and you get a special addition!

I went to the game on Sunday night in the Meadowlands. After 4 hours of tailgating, I wasn’t as upset as you would think to find out I had great seats to see the Cardinals beat the Giants, 24-17. Wondering what happened?

On the other hand, had I been sober enough to notice all this was going on, it might have been a more interesting game. Arizona safety, Antrel Rolle's, was docked $7,500 by the league this week for "unnecessarily striking a defenseless receiver," for an extremely late hit on Kevin Boss. Ahmad Bradshaw was also fined, $5,000 for hitting Cards DT Darnell Dockett in the face mask after a play late in the game. The hit came after Dockett saying something to him while lying on top of him after making the tackle. After the game, Dockett mocked Bradshaw's punch on T.O.’s favorite outlet, Twitter. "felt like a scoobey snack. Glass joe on mike tyson hit harder than U."

Docket, do I need to remind you that Bradshaw’s punch came after you laid on top of him for an extended period of time after a tackle? Does he really even need to comment?

Don’t worry, I got this guy in the parking lot afterward!



Speaking of guys on guys. Is it me, or is Brett Favre checking out this guys butt?



Oh, you didn’t know the Vikings played this week? That’s because they lost. And you know the new NFL Rules. Praise Favre for all positive plays, ignore any losses. I would like to thank Big Ben and the Steelers for putting a one in the Minnesota Favres loss column. You get first pick of my Halloween candy! 17-27, Steelers.

While the rest of the NFL gets to smack around Tampa Bay right here on American soil, the Patriots went all the way across the pond to show the English what we see here, every week…someone beating up on the Bucs. 35-7, New England.

The Raiders had mercy on all of us this week, and after 3 interceptions, pulled Jamarcus Russell out of the game. No, Oakland didn’t improve or even score after that, but at least we don’t have to watch Russell, anymore. 38-0, Jets. (This doesn’t count toward that Sanchise!)

The Colts had a week off against the Rams. What can I say about a game that ended 42-6? (There’s always next year, St. Louis? Or baseball?) But Peyton Manning, being the stellar quarterback he is (and a Manning), is a popular Halloween costume this year. Since on Halloween, you are supposed to be disguised as something that you aren’t everyday, can you guess who was Peyton Manning this year?



Jason Campbell dressed as Peyton Manning, a player with job security. Which is an excellent costume, since Peyton Manning is probably the opposite of Jason Campbell. This guy is terrible. Absolutely terrible. Some times I am watching and wondering, “how can anyone be so bad at football?” “why doesn’t someone trade this guy for Matt Schaub? Or….me?”


Campbell wasn’t the only guy in that game dressing as a Manning this year.


Donovan McNabb is going as a Super Bowl Champion! (Now that’s a disguise!!!)
27-17, Filthadelphia over Washington.


Speaking of guys who should wear a mask. Jake Delhomme should probably hide his face…behind the Classified section of the newspaper. Delhomme threw three interceptions, (AGAIN). Even though Buffalo tried to lose, Carolina wasn’t going to let that happen. 20-9, Buffalo.

And amongst the Bills, is perhaps this years scariest Halloween costume, yet. Terrell Owens is going trick-or-treating as, YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE!


Come on, could you imagine this guy with unlimited access to media? Kids everywhere will have their parents checking under their beds this year for T.O. with a microphone.

But T.O. better watch out, himself. It looks like Larry Johnson wants to give him a run for his money. With Kansas City playing like usual, L.J. took the Owens way out and decided to blame anyone, but himself. Mostly the coaching staff. Why is it their fault? Well, because according to Larry, they are gay. After Larry used negative, offensive comments and gay slurs in his public coach-bashing session, he received a 2-week suspension. Add this to Johnson’s trouble with the law and previous gay slur offenses, the Chiefs claim, Larry has played his last game for Kansas City.

I’d blame Larry and the media circus for Kansas City’s 37-7 loss to San Diego, but we all know Johnson never contributed very much and no one cares what happens in Kansas City. No excuses guy…you just suck!

…But this weekend, you can dress up and pretend that you don’t because it is Halloween!

And even Jerry Jones is going as something he isn’t every day.



Cuddly!

NFL Recap: Week Six

Remember those days when you’d stay home and play in the snow and build snowmen, go sleigh riding and then run inside to drink hot chocolate once you couldn’t feel your fingers and toes? Well, it doesn’t snow much in Tennessee and Sunday it was a “SNOW DAY!” for the Titans. In the mean time Tom Brady threw six touchdown passes. Five of those passes came in the second quarter, an NFL record for one period and six touchdown throws tied Brady's own Patriots record. When the Titans were done with their snow angels they were sent home with a score of 0-59, Patriots.



Arizona stepped it up against Seattle on Sunday, previously unable to get the ball to "go-to-man" Larry Fitzgerald, on Sunday, Fitzgerald caught 13 of 15 balls thrown his way for his first 100-yard game of the season. Add to this the Cards intimate relationship with Matt Hasselback, lying him on his back 5 times (for 5 sacks)and it explains the 27-3 Arizona win over Seattle.


It was hyped up as the game to watch. The undefeated New York Giants versus the undefeated New Orleans Saints. Eli Manning returned to his hometown of New Orleands only to watc Drew Brees, blow by his “number one” defense. Brees ended completed 23 of 30 passes for 369 yards. The Giants came into the game giving up averages of 210.6 yards and 14.2 points. The Saints had 34 points and 315 yards by halftime! With the final score being 27-48.

I have to try and defend my G-men against those that say they aren’t a worthy opponent, and say each pass was off by just a little, stupid mistakes gave Saints easy field position and I don’t believe the Saints were as great, as the Giants were poor on Sunday. But we did get spanked, leaving me to ask….where was my defense?



The Giants room mates (or stadium mates) didn’t fair any better. The Jets played the Bills in what seemed like a game they wanted to lose, but the Jet’s refused to let that happen. Trent Edwards was injured, and replaced by Buffalo with Fitzpatrick, who threw for less than 50%....but it’s okay. The Bills cause 5 passes from Mark Sanchez and even caught a field goal in OT. Looks like the best replacement QB for the Bills, was Sanchez. After the game, Sanchez took full blame, saying the loss was his fault…”yeah, ya think?” 16-13, Bills. Told you to hold off on those “Sanchise shirts!”

The Browns were just not meant to beat the Steelers. Each team had four turnovers. Yeah, you heard correctly, four each…eight total, but I guess the Steelers fumbles just came at a better time. Who knows how you win a game with four turnovers? Failed Brown’s defense, poor ball placement and a few touchdown passes.

Ben Roethlisberger threw two touchdown passes to a wide-open offense and the Steelers were granted a first down on a questionable measurement. It helps that Big Ben was 23 of 35 for 417 yards, Hines Ward made eight catches for 159 yards and a touchdown, Santonio Holmes had five for 104 and tight end Heath Miller caught his a touchdown pass of his own.

The Washington Redskins….the poor Washington Redskins. They have yet to play a single team this year, who had a one in their win column. That’s right. The Washington hasn’t played a single opponent with a win, yet they are 2-4. This week the ‘Skin handed Kansas City their first win, in a game that someone had to win, but nobody who wasn’t playing in it cared about. 14-6, Chiefs.

What could be worse than Washington? The St. Louis Rams, who have now lost 16 in a row. Come on, give these guys some credit…it isn’t easy losing that many games in a row, eventually you play a team like the Redskins, Lions or Chiefs. But not this week. This week Jacksonville finished with 492 yards and was 11 for 16 on third downs. Then how was the game so close, you ask? How else? Three Jacksonville turnovers! 20-23, Jaguars.

Minnesota beat Baltimore and of course, all we hard about was the great, undefeated Brett Favre…who I am sure single-handedly won the game by throwing passed up for himself to catch in the end zone and switching pads during commercials to defend against the Baltimore offense…what they don’t tell you, yet again…Favre was n’t good, but “just good enough.” 31-33, Favres.

Greenbay beat Detroit, but Detroit already has one win, so it really isn’t as much fun to talk about anymore. 0-26., Packers.

Philadelphia fans were all over the Giant’s getting beat by the Saints, but probably should have held off until they found out they lost to the Oakland Raiders. The Raiders scored the only touchdown of the game and the most entertaining part of the game was probably the pigeon. If you didn’t see the pigeon that wanted good seats to the game. Check out the video below. (A little advice pigeon…there isn’t much excitement in an Eagle’s game…may I suggest flying across to New Jersey?)
Video.



Cute bird, huh? Well he wasnt the only bird on the field that had no idea what he was doing, Donovan McNabb, referred to by yahoo as “not the most situationally aware fellow” was at it again. Last year we declared MCNabb the dumbest guy in the NFL when he told the world he didn’t know a game could end in a tie, but you know…Overtime isn’t for everyone. But is there any excuses for being down 10-3 with 27 seconds left in the first half, and McNabb going to the line, calling timeout after deciding that he didn't like what he saw on the Raiders' side of the ball.

You would think not. Probably a good decision…if you have any time outs left! The time out McNabb called was his forth and Philly was penalized for delay of game. So I brought an old friend who used to help me with numbers, to try and explain the number THREE to Donavon.


If you still can’t remember McNabb, just ask yourself, “How many more Super Bowl rings do the Giants have than the Eagles?” THREE!!!!

Week 5 Recap: Better late then never

Browns 6-3 over Bills. BORING! 3 field goals. Bills are 1-6 and lost to a team with 10 straight losses. And you wonder why their home games are being exported to Toronto. Don’t worry though, Alex Trebek, Shania Twain, bacon, hockey…all Canadian. (Who doesn't love Alex Trebek!!!)



Looks like Pittsburgh is (almost) back! Ben Roethlisberger had a season-high three touchdowns passes through three quarters. The Defense had seven sacks in the game, and a forced a fumble. And held off their opponent in the final minutes of the 4th to win 28-20. But the Steelers were playing the Detroit Lions! Yeah, they aren’t back…barely squeaking passed the Lions in the 4th is as good as a loss.

I am starting a movement to change Sunday to Manning Day. Eli Manning lead the Giants to a 44-7 win over Oakland. Yeah, I know it's only the Raiders, but the G-men put in their back-ups in the second quarter! If you don’t like the Giants, its okay…you can just call us “Five and Oh!” And in case you were forgetting what Peyton Manning looks like, he was on Prime Time for the 3rd time this season (its only week 5) leading the Colts 31-9 over the Titans. The Titans, a sad “ohhhhhh” and five, with Big bro Manning joining his brother in the undefeated. They make it look so easy.

Sunday also marked the return of McNabb to the arm-flapping, football experiment, currently known as, the Philadelphia Eagles. The Eagles defeated Tampa Bay 14-33, but who will serve me my breakfast now? IHOP has oblong AFC and NFC stuffed pancakes with icing as laces, but it is my firm belief that Donovon McNabb should carry nothing in the shape of a football. Waffle please.



How long do you have to be in the NFL to be a veteran? I know he hasn’t been around that long, but they keep referring to Tony Romo’s inability to make plays as “rookie mistakes!” Come on! The guy has been in the NFL for 6 years. Sure he hasn’t been around as long as Favre, but it is time to take the training wheels off big boy! You just suck! The Cowgirls served the Chiefs their 28th loss in 30 games, 26-20, but had to go all the way to OT, to do it. (Looks like the Cowgirls will have plenty of time to raise the tv in their new stadium…during the playoffs, when their stadium is empty!)

Speaking of the “F-word” Guess who turned FORTY! That’s right. None other then the NFL’s favorite grey-haired, overrated, won’t get off my tv, retiring, unretiring, cry-baby, Brett “where the h*ll am I going to play this season” Favre. Yup, he is 40! That means he could have fathered his Jets replacement Mark Sanchez, Chad Henne, Matt Stafford and Matt Ryan and those are only quarterbacks…that I could think of quickly. And since he’s old, we have to pretend that everyone of his wins (and every freakin play) is a big one. So I am not surprised to hear how that Vikings crushed the St. Louis Rams, leaving out that the Rams are on a 15 game losing streak. You are still old, Favre! 38-10, Favres over Rams.



I turned on the Denver- New England game and had no clue who was playing. Not only because the Broncos wore mustard-yellow uniforms and the Patriots has scary muscle guys on their white helmets, but because since when does a Broncos QB go 35-48 for 321 yards (I guess since it stopped being Jay Cutler) and Tom Brady is no…Tom Brady! Looks like Mr. 18 and 1, never returned from his injury…or honeymoon. These old Pats just aint what they used to be. Denver over New England in OT, 17-20.

Chad Henne made his debut to quiet the Mark Sanchez bandwagon. The Jets were calling the team under Mark the Jet’s “Sanchise.” I wouldn’t be too quick to make T-shirts…we all know what happened under “Broadway Brett!” Unless of course, they look like this:



The Jets had Braylon Edwards and two fake punts fooled the Dolphins. But Miami had the wildcat, and it was the real wildcat…not that scared kitten stuff the Eagles run! With 10 seconds left in the game, Phins in the Red, RAN THE BALL…to win the game. 27-31, Miami.

NFL Recap: Week Three

Sunday’s word of the Day was BENGAL. The Word of The Day was brought to you by Hines and Heinz.


Bengal [ben-gawl, gahl]
-noun
1. a former province in NE India, now divided between India and Bangladesh.
2. word made up in Ohio, referring to a mediocre athlete wearing orange and black and based out of Cincinnati. (possibly an attempt to relate to the Bengal Tiger)
-pronoun
1. used interrogatively as a request for specific information: e.g. Bengals? (meaning: What the hell happened to the Steelers?)

Before Sunday, the last time the Bengal’s beat the Steelers, “Ocho Cinco” was still just Chad Johnson. This Sunday’s game looked a lot like last week for the Steelers. They dominated the ball, but didn’t deliver and a missed Steelers field goal (again) allowed them to be beat by three points (again). Even though, it may have seemed like déjà vu to the Steelers, this is the first time Big Ben has lost in Ohio, ever. I am not ready to believe in the Bengals, quite yet, but I do love a last second touchdown (unless my team is playing then I will take them winning in a blow out over the panic of a close game, any day). 20-23, Cincy.


Matt Stafford had a party an no one came, except Jim Zorn and the Skins. The Lions finally won a game, but there were only 40,000 fans in attendance. (It’s okay Matt. I’d come to your party! However, I wouldn’t come to see the Detroit Lions play football). We knew it couldn’t go on forever, but I really thought it was going to be the St Louis Rams who put an end to the Lions 20-game losing streak, but the Redskins beat them to the punch and boy, boy was Washington looking ready and willing to take the embarrassing title of the first team to lose Detroit. Jason Campbell continued to “drop the ball.” Seriously, I have never seen unassisted fumbles quite like those of Campbell. I am pretty sure that every starter on the Washington defense got injured. But the likely guest of honor at Matt Stafford’s “The Lions Finally Won” party, Jim Zorn. When Zorn made the call to “go for it” on 4th and 2, this is what fear looks like…


Fear, not only that they wouldn’t get the two yards (they didn’t), but for his job and most likely that of his terrible quarterback. 14-19, Detroit. (But the real loser here is anyone who bought season ticket to the Redskins!)

Like every other team, the Packers breezed through their game against the St. Louis Rams, who are now on a 13 game losing streak. Aaron Rodgers threw for 269 yards and two touchdowns and was only sacked twice (which actually is a good thing considering he was sacked 10 times in the first 2 games). I am glad Rodgers and his O-line made up this week, because if the Packers don’t win next week when they take on the Vikings and old Favre, there is no justice in this world. I wanna see the Pack win by at least this margin Monday Night. 36-17, Green Bay.

Speaking of Fav-ruh. The Vikings won the Super Bowl? Oh no wait, it was just Favre throwing a touchdown pass. I don’t get it. I know everything Brett does has to be dramatic, but quarterbacks throw touchdown passes every week. I don’t know if you know this, but it is actually what they get paid to do. So please, explain to me why there was more hugging and celebrating when the Vikings squeaked passed the SAN FRANCISCO 49ers, then at the Lions first victory in 20 games? Was this a big game? Even when he breaks records, I am not impressed. If you do something for a 100 years you’re bound to break a few records. I guess I should be impressed that a 40-year-old arm can throw a touchdown pass, but I am really tired of Brett Favre on my TV. 24-27, Favres.

As for Quarterbacks that are not quite what they used to be, I find Tom Brady to be inconsistent, at best. Sure, he threw his 200th touchdown pass on Sunday and he still better than most quarterbacks in the league, but he doesn’t look like a guy who can pull of a season of 18 wins (and most importantly, ONE LOSS). Unlike the 500 passes Brady usually averages per game, this week’s win over Atlanta was a running game. Randy Moss is getting up there and the Patriots aren’t scoring like they used to, but it was enough to give the Falcons their first loss of the season. 10-26, New England.

Better than Matt Cassel, though. Who was 14/18 for 90 yards on Sunday against the Eagles. The only Quarterback to produce less yards was Michael Vick, with a whopping 0 yards passing and 7 yards rushing. That’s right, after all the controversy stirred up by PETA’s new best friend and the Eagle’s ‘46th man’ roster problems, Vick was nothing more than a decoy, sent out to “distract the dogs” so other players could safely pass. Announcers referred to a “wildcat offense” but I am pretty sure the Eagles were just making it up as they went along. (I’d give them tame-kitten, at best). But if you are going to experiment with your offense, do it against the Chiefs. 14-34, Eagles.

Zero first downs for three quarters and 86 total offensive yards…who can pull something like that off? Who else? The Giant Defense! Tampa Bay had no passing yards until late in the 3rd and 20 yards rushing…then the G-men put in their second string. The Giants ground attack returned and Bradshaw and Jacobs each had a touchdown. No turnovers, 3 for 5 in the red…. Too bad the Bucs didn’t make it to the game. They could have learned a few things. 24-0, Giants.

When the Titans and the Jets took the field it was a clash of ugly jerseys and fumbles. The Titans in their Oilers throwbacks and the Jets in their old, yellow Titan uniforms, each had 2 fumbles. However, both of Tennessee’s fumbles were Ryan Mouton special teams fumbles, which the Jets converted into 14 points. The Titans are 0-3 for the first time since 1990 and this week the Titans beat themselves. 17-24, Jets.

Kurt Warner threw with an amazing 92% passing accuracy. There were no parades or fireworks, like there was for Favre’s one touchdown pass (and Warner is pretty old), but it could be because the Cardinals got spanked by the Colts. 31-10.

I heard a lot of questions about the reflectors running around on the field in Seattle, but I liked the Seahawks bright jerseys. It takes real guts to pull of fluorescent green. Nice job, guys! But while the Seahawks were strong in the fashion risk department, they didn’t bring that, “je ne sais quoi” to the field. Since when does Jay Cutler do things like, 21-of-27 passes for 247 yards with three touchdowns? I guess, Sunday. 25-19, Chicago.

The Saints trampled the Bills and T.O. didn’t have a single reception and I told you the time bomb was ticking. It had been too long since we heard from T.O. and I was beginning to think he was going to let Kanye West take his title as King of Stupid. After the game, sports commentator Rodney Harrison accused Owens of having a “me-first” mentality and putting his needs over his teams. Naturally, T.O. used his favorite medium to reply, Twitter. (Didn’t they ban this from the NFL?)



T.O. targeted Harrison's suspension for using “hormones” when he played in the NFL, calling him a "loser" and "cheater" and asking "Hey rodney! Send me sum steroids 2 the Bills facility next week!" 27-7, Saints.

Miami lost Chad Pennington for the entire season on Sunday against the Chargers; Henne and White, both rookies, on the bench, it is anybody’s team. With an 0-3 start, there is no place to go but up. 13-23, San Diego.

Last night, the Cowgirls played the Panthers and with both Romo and Delhomme’s future being questioned, the Dallas stadium looked like a huge, over-hyped pressure cooker. I was hoping to watch “Jerry’s World” fall apart, as two quarterbacks battled to prove themselves. Instead, I was bored out of my mind, which gave it plenty of time to wander…
Observation I made during the Cowgirls-Panther game:
1. When moms tell their kids, “don’t take candy from strangers” they especially mean, Jerry Jones. He is creepy! (and I am pretty sure that taking things from Jerry Jones is a lot like selling your soul).

2. Tony Romo didn’t get any better; the team he played is worse.

3. Jake Delhomme’s O-line, hates him!

4. Soon the Panthers Steve Smith will be known as “the other Steve Smith” and the NY Giant Steve Smith, will just be Steve Smith.

5. I am pretty sure that Tony Romo and Jason Whitten are “more than friends.”

6. The saying “everything is bigger in Texas” should be followed by the cliché “bigger isn’t always better.”

7. How does Tony Romo change so fast after the game? Was he wearing that ugly flannel under his jersey?

8. People continue to talk about Dallas like they are a great football team, yet they haven’t won a Super Bowl or a single play-off game this decade.

9. The Cowboy’s pants don’t match their shirts. (hey, it was a boring first half)

10. The Panthers know one play: deep to Steve Smith, even if he is covered.

7-21, Dallas.

PS.
Baltimore over Cleveland, 3-34.
Jacksonville over Houston, 31-24.

NFL Recap: Week Two

In Dallas, fans arrived more than 3 hours before kick off to see what 1.2 billion dollars could buy. The Cowgirls now play in one of the most expensive sports venues ever built. In case you haven’t heard (over and over and over) the retractable roof was specially designed by a structural engineer and is opened to reveal a glowing Dallas star, but can be covered by the retractable roof panel to protect against the elements. Inside a pair of nearly 300 ft tall arches span the length of the stadium dome and are anchored to the ground at each end. The new stadium also includes "more than 3,000 Sony LCD displays throughout the luxury suites, concourses, concession areas and more, offering fans viewing options that extend beyond the action on the field," and a center-hung video display board that is the largest high definition television screen in the world. Glass doors, allow each end zone to be opened…

…The one thing that Jerry Jones can’t buy…and the one thing the stadium can’t do is….win!

The stadium outshone the team, as the biggest cheers in Dallas came for the commercialization and exploitation of their football team in a stadium that held 105,000 disappointed fans. Each and every one of them got to see Romo’s THREE turnovers, on the BIG TV! (and that fumble, too!!!) The Giants, again, disappointed in the red zone, but their defense was, as usual, unmatched.

The lead changed hands several times (and we only got a shot of Jerry Jones in his comfy booth, when Dallas was winning….hmmm…wonder why?).



But the politicians and celebrities invited to this media fest all got a front seat to the “Giant Defense Show!”

They also got to see, Eli Manning go 25/38 for 330 yards and two touchdowns, Mario Manningham catch 10 passes for 150 yards and a touchdown and Steve Smith with 10 passes for 134 yards and a score.

While the Cowgirls focused on impressing the world with LCD displays, the G-men decided to play some high-definition football!

Pole dancing cheerleaders, ex-con (I mean ex-cowboy) players, flashing lights and fireworks, the Dallas Cowgirls were a side event in their own freak show. That stadium was their circus…and Tony Romo was their clown!



In case you can’t see him juggling the football…here it is on the BIG TV!



By the way, Flozell Adams, Justin Tuck is coming for you!!!
(What kinda name is Flozell? Do you know Plaxico?)

You know what usually happens when you can’t deliver in the red zone (and don’t have the Giants amazing defense)? You lose to the Baltimore Ravens. San Diego had to settle for 3, four times while inside the Baltimore 10. With 436 passing yards for Rivers, the Chargers still fell short to Flacco and the Ravens. 31-26 Baltimore.

You have to play Defense. Defense wins games. Perhaps they should have taken a look at the Denver Broncos who defenses came out of nowhere, literally, with 4 sacks on Brady Quinn. (Oh Brady Quinn, it just keeps getting better for you, doesn’t it?) Kyle Orton outplayed Quinn, but that isn’t hard…the Browns have scored ONE offensive touchdown in 2 games. However, they owe their win to the run game (or the Brown’s poor run defense); Buckhalter rushed for 76 yards and Knowshon Moreno added 75 yards as the Broncos ran the ball 37 times for 449 yards. 6-27, Broncos.


Jay Cutler must die! (The actual movie is John Tucker Must Die, but I doubt anyone actually saw it). When everyone else makes fun of you Jay Cutler, I defend you. (except for last week...but you had 4 interceptions, what do you want from me?) Yet, every year, you screw up my elimination bowl pick!! I suppose I could blame the Steeler’s 3 missed field goals (just one would have tied things up) or the fact that there were huge seams in the field’s turf because Chicago had a U-2 concert the weekend before the game, but I am not an Eagles fan. I am not making excuses…I’ll just blame JAY CUTLER! Chicago beat the Steelers with a last second field goal, kicked by Robbie Gould (WE ARE…PENN STATE!). 14-17, Bears.

If the 49ers keep winning games, I am going to be forced to learn the names of some of their players. I guess I will start with Frank Gore, who had 207 yards rushing and two touchdown runs over 75 yards. (It is clear that the Seahawks had some trouble catching on to that play). Matt Hasselbeck had to leave the game with a rib injury and I don’t have much else to say because I know nothing about San Fran, except that they don’t usually win. 10-23, 49ers.

T.O. played for the Buffalo Bills this week (He was on the field last week, also, but didn’t do much “playing”). He only had 3 receptions, but one was for a touchdown, which means unlike last week, T.O. was willing to talk to the press after the game. He didn’t cry, but give him time. He did nothing last week and only 3 receptions this week…can you smell the fuse burning? Tampa Bays offense put up 450 yards rushing last week against the Cowgirls, and the offense wasn’t a problem this week, either, however their D allowed 438 yards for Buffalo and I’ve said it before (in this blog and in this post) Defense wins games! 20-33, Buffalo.

Tony Gonzalez, Tony Gonzalez, Tony Gonzalez…that is all I keep hearing. So I kept an eye on him this week. What is the big deal with Tony Gonzalez…well, he is very obviously, Matt Ice’s favorite receiver, but it isn’t so much how often he catches the ball, but how he catches the ball. He picks the ball out of the air with his fingertips and pulls it in when you think it is just out of reach, in a way that made me want him on my team. I couldn’t quite figure out why I liked him so much, until I realized….Plaxico Burress. He uses his tippy toes and fingertips, like Plaxico did when he had 2 feet. What I would do for a Plaxico Burress, hold the drama! Anyway, back to the game. The Panthers went back to Delhomme after some confusion and 5 turnovers last week. His game improved drastically (perhaps out of fear for his job) 25/41 for 308 yards passing, BUT there was that pick late in the game on the Falcons 17 yard line. (Maybe next week, Jake). 20-28, Atlanta.

Detroit scored a touchdown!!! (Small victories, for these guys). In fact, when the Lions scored, the Favre-prone announcers cheered “Touchdown Minnesota!” Oops! I am not sure if it is the fact that they have yet to get off of Brett Favre’s….bandwagon or they just aren’t used to saying “Touchdown Lions!” Perhaps a mixture of both, but there was no time to make up for the mistake, because that was the Lions only touchdown. The NFL’s favorite geriatric, unretired quarterback was Favre was 23 of 27 for 155 yards…seems like a lot of passes for only 155 yards, doesn’t it? That’s because Fav-ruh has yet to throw deep downfield once. (I don’t think you have it in you Favre!!) Let’s see what happens when he plays a real team. See ya week 16 old man! 27-13 Minnesota.

The Bengals beat the Packers by once second, literally. A false start penalty kept Cincinnati from losing their lead to the Packers. Aaron Rodgers faked a spike and looked to the end zone to put Green Bay in the lead, but a false start blew the play dead and the Bengals managed a win. Interesting but useless fact? This is the first time the Bengals win at Lambeau Field. 31-24, Bengals.

Who thought Houston was going to beat Tennessee? I didn’t. That is why I lost my second pick, when they did. (By a field goal, again.) The freakin Texans? Stupid, Titans. 34-31, Texans.

Oakland beat Kansas City and if this is the game they were showing in your area…I am so sorry. I can’t even pretend I watched it. 13-10, Oakland.

Brett Favre captures the media with all his whining and retiring, while Kurt Warner actually plays a quality game of football at the age of 38 (which is like 100 in football years!) Warner was 24/26 for 243 yards and 2 touchdowns against the Jaguars. His first 15 passes and broke the NFL's single-game record for completion percentage and 12 of 14 were for first downs. (He’s not afraid to throw down field, Fav-ruh! Take that!!!) He sat the bench with a sore shoulder in the 4th and Matt Leinart showed his pretty face for a few plays, but did nothing more than smile and flex, however, not before the Cardinal put the Jaguars away. 31-17, Arizona.

The Redskins surprised no one by continuing to be the worst team in the NFC Beast. Even though Washington beat the Rams, they headed to the locker room to a familiar sound, “booooooooo!” Fans were likely upset because Washington failed to score a single touchdown, but the fact that they failed to do so against the St. Louis Rams, who if it weren’t for the Detroit Lions would likely be the worst team in the NFL for the second season in a row, probably didn’t help. Don’t expect much from the Skins or the Rams. 7-9, Redskins.

Some of those recaps may seem rushed, but it is only because I couldn’t wait to get to this last one. The only thing that could make a better day of the Giants beating the Cowgirls, at home, in their first game, in their pretty new shiny, stadium, is if the Eagles got their a** handed to them, too… and they did!

“We don’t have McNabb.” “Next week we will have Vick.” “Kolb has never served any serious jail time.” “The sun was in my eyes.” “Mommy, the Saints won’t let us score.”
In what was obviously another week tainted with whining poor excuses as to why Philadelphia had been defeated on all aspects of the game, I am left to wonder, is McNabb really hurt or were the Eagles just thinking ahead?

There were no wings flapping in the end zone this week, as the New Orleans Saints marched all over Lincoln Financial Stadium and the Eagles just couldn’t keep up…or score, or defend or really do anything about it, at all.

Kolb threw three interceptions and Philadelphia still didn’t feel desperate enough to go with Garcia, who they signed to a 2-week contract, with the loss of McNabb. In the event something happened to Kolb, with Vick in eligible, (you know, for being a criminal), Garcia was there for emergencies.

I call three interceptions and complete domination on the field and emergency, but not one I would call Garcia up for…that kind of emergency would have to be more like “Oh no! Kolb has lost both legs…and both arms…and he’s gone blind…right before entering a coma.” (Okay, put in Garcia).

I don’t think it would have mattered. Nothing could save the Eagles from the total domination and embarrassment they underwent on their own turf on Sunday…and I loved it. ☺

Come on. Dance for me, McNabb.

NFL Recap: Week One

The only thing longer then the Thursday night NFL Kickoff Game was the intro to the Thursday night NFL Kickoff Game. After what seemed like hours of “EA Sports presentations” including Tim McGraw and the Black Eyes Peas, the Steelers and the Titans finally took the field to kick off the best season of the year…football season.

The Titans were the last team to beat the Steelers in a game that ended with the Titans stomping on Terrible Towels. Not this time! Santonio Holmes had 9 catches for 131 yards and one touchdown…exactly what he had as the MVP of the Super Bowl and it looked like the Steelers were going to pull the plug on the Titans, who just wouldn’t die, until Hines Ward fumbled on the Titans 4 yard line with under a minute to go, sending the game into OT. After winning the toss, the Steelers kicked a field goal on first down, to win the game 10-13.

However, the biggest loss in the game was not to the Titans, but when Troy Polamalu was forced to leave the game with a left knee injury. The Steelers are shaking it off, but, no matter what you say Pittsburgh, you are not fooling me. Regardless of how the Steelers want to play it, or how long he is out, they will feel it. We know Troy is more to the Steelers than just his long tousseled hair.



Miami played Atlanta in the Dome and the picture says it all. The Dolphins laid down and the Falcons danced all over them. A pair of touchdown passes for Matty Ice and 4 turnovers for the Dolphins, looked like a shut out until Ricky Williams put up 6 for the Dolphins late in the 4th. 7-19, Atlanta.

But it’s okay Miami, just point at St. Louis and say, “at least we aren’t them!” The Rams did get shut out and looked like the same old 2-14 Rams of last season, against my favorite blue-eyed baldy and the Seattle Seahawks. Matt Hasselbeck, missed 9 games last season and came back just in time to send the Rams back to St. Louis without a single point. The only time the Seahawks beat a team by more than 28 pts was when they beat the Eagles 38-0 in 1998. (No, I never miss a chance to take a shot at the Eagles!). 0-28, Seattle.

Broncos- Bengals game in Cincinnati was a sleeper until Brandon Stokley's touchdown reception with 11 seconds remaining which game off a tipped ball and resulted in 87-yards, where Stokely ran along the end zone to run out the clock before stepping in for 6. Final, a riveting 12-7, Denver.

The Minnesota Vikings took on the Cleveland Browns (as much as one can actually “take on” the Browns) where after throwing his first touchdown pass the ESPN world stopped for just one second (more like a minute and a half) to watch 39 year old QB, Brett Favre celebrate. However, the play of the game belongs to Brady Quinn.


I wish that Quinn would just give up already. His NFL career started as we all watched him sit in an emptying room, as player after player was drafted until finally, in what seemed like a pity draft, the Cleveland Brown put an end to his embarrassment. Then his NFL starting debut was overshadowed by none other than JAY CUTLER! Then we watched him take the bench and finally, this…


You want to hang on to the ball until your arm actually moves forward or at least until there is someone around to make it look like you didn’t just drop it. Obviously, the Vikings beat the Browns, 34-20. But seriously, I am tired o hearing about Favre already. Yeah yeah, he is 100 years old and he won a football game, but it was the Browns. Do you need to see this again?


After the game, Favre went over to shake hands with his old pal, Mangini. I can only imagine how that conversation went.




I picked the Saints over the Lions this week and was a little nervous for a while, but then I remembered…it is the Detroit Lions and before I knew it, Drew Brees had thrown for six touch down passes. Two of those passes were to Jeremy Shockey, who hadn’t scored a single point since the New York Football Giants traded him. It was Matt Stafford’s first day with the big boys, and he scored his first rushing touchdown. Yay Matt! (He also had 3 interceptions.) 14-28 Saints.

Tony Romo got rid of the nagging girl and Jessica Simpson (Haha. Get it? The nagging girl was T.O.) and is a better man for both. Romo threw for his career-best 353 yards passing, and three touchdowns. Not to mention his 80-yard touchdown pass to Patrick Crayton was the longest of Romo's career. Both teams had more than 450 total yards and zero turnovers. But unfortunately the Cowgirls won, 21-34, Dallas.

There was nothing but confusion in North Carolina, as the Panthers tried every quarterback they had to no avail after Delhomme racked up his 5th turnover of the game. But perhaps the biggest confusion of the game came when ancient, I mean veteran Eagle quarterback, McNabb was crushed in the end zone (that’s why you don’t want a running quarterback), with Vick not eligible until week three, we were all left to wonder, “who the heck is that white guy playing quarterback for Philadelphia?” Kevin Kolb did nothing more than run out the clock, which probably couldn’t happen fast enough for the hopeless Panthers. 38-10, Philadelphia.

For the record, I don’t want to see anyone get hurt, ever. But if it absolutely has to be someone, McNabb is my first choice. Lets see you flap round with those broken ribs. With Vick watching from the luxury box and McNabb being old, what will the Eagles do next week?

Rookie QB, Mark Sanchez made his NFL debut against the Houston Texans (sure, give him an easy one). I am sure Sanchez owes a little bit of his win to the Texans who are consistently bad and the Jets defense who allowed Houston's offense past midfield just once in the first three quarters. (Again, some credit to the Texans for being a horrible football team). The only thing I can be sure didn’t contribute to the Jets win was Joe Namath’s pre-game pep talk with the rookie. When Sanchez asked Nameth about his first career start, Namath said, “I don’t remember.” Good talk, Joe! See ya out there!

The Redskins almost traded Campbell for a chance at Mark Sanchez. They didn’t and kept Campbell, who apparently just isn’t Mark Sanchez, enough. The New York Football Giants racked my nerves for 4 quarters, sending Ware inside early with a wrist injury and watching Hicks return to the game on crutches in the fourth, as usually the G-men easily moved the ball down field, but refused to deliver from the red zone. Maybe they should start taking a few delay of games from the red zone to back them up until they are comfortable. Good thing it was only the Redskins. 17-23 Giants.

Jay Cutler's comment was that "its hard to win games with three turnovers in the first half." Oh yeah, Jay. You should know because they were all yours and there were four in total! 4 picks...all thrown by you! "There were a lot of failures," Cutler said. Yes, Jay Cutler, that would be you! Sorry. Green Bay over Chicago, 15-21.

Peyton Manning tied the franchise record for victories, in a win over Jacksonville. 12-14 Colts. (I forgot about this game and went back and added it. Sorry Peyton.)

And the question of the week. How do the defending NFC Champions lost to the San Francisco 49ers? (How does anyone lose to the 49ers?) 20-16, San Fran over Arizona.
Tonight we find out if Brady still has what it takes to go 18 and 1, when the Patriots play the Bills on MNF.

San Diego takes on Oakland, I guess. But I am not staying up to watch that and will check out the highlights, if there are any. (I took San Diego in this game, actually, so GO CHARGERS!)

Memorial Day Special: College Football Recap

Who said Week One is boring?

Thursday night, Utah (19) extended the nation's longest winning streak to 15 games, beating in-state rival Utah State for the 12th straight time. Coincidentally, Utah State has lost 12 straight season openers.

However, Utah’s 38-17 win over Utah State was over shadowed the 19-8 victory for Boise St. (14) over the Oregon Ducks (16). Played on the Broncos Smurf Turf, there was very little to say about the Ducks offense (other than their ugly jerseys having feathers printed on their shoulders). Boise State controlled the ball for 43 of the 60 minutes. The real news came when the game that started with handshakes, didn’t end quite the same way. Oregon running back, Blount, who spoke before the game about “keeping emotions in check,” checked his emotions on jaw of Boise State’s, Hout, after Hout tapped him on the shoulder and shared some words I am sure were not “good game.” While Hout did hit the blue turf, nothing was seriously hurt other than his feelings and Blount’s season. He will not be playing with the Ducks for the rest of the year. If you didn’t see this, I don’t know where you have been, but check it out, below.



Not quite as exciting, was the Florida Gators (1) 62-3 victory over Charleston Southern. The Bucs field goal wasn’t the only charity at the Swamp, Florida’s very own Mother Teresa, Tim Tebow spent pregame warm-ups pushing the wheel char of a 7-year old, Atlanta boy with cerebral palsy, signing autographs and handing out practice balls. The youngster is a huge Tebow fan. Funny, I found most people in Georgia hate Tim Tebow.

Texas (2) also eased into their schedule with a 59-20 win over Louisiana-Monroe. Any hope that ULM had of repeating their one time upset of Alabama, with the Longhorns was quieted when the Longhorns showed off their own Monroe, redshirted last season, who sped his way to a TD return in the second quarter. Colt McCoy had a completion percentage of 72.4, which was actually down from last seasons 76.7. Watch out for Texas.

Among the expected results, was USC (4) Quarterback Matt Berkley’s coming out party, with a 56-3 win over San Jose State. Berkley is the first true freshman to start a season opener in USC history. I am holding out to see how he does against the Buckeye’s next week.

North Carolina (21) beat Citadel 40-6, but I know nothing else about that game.
The consistently overrated Notre Dame (23) over came their 15 losses in the last 2 seasons to pull out a 35-0 win over Nevada showing us that maybe this year they actually deserve their ranking at number 23. The Irish had 510 offensive yards, but Charlie Weiss put the biggest effort in South Bend forth, as the hefty coach huffed and puffed his way through a post-game interview.

If you can hear anything over the inevitable cries of always-delusional ND fans who suddenly think they deserve to be number one, it is the sobbing from Oklahoma Sooners (3). The number three Sooners were upset 14-13 by BYU after Heisman Trophy QB, Sam Bradford, went down in he first half with and suffered a shoulder injury. Bradford returned with a sling and street clothes for the second half, but his X-rays were negative (I have no idea what that means. It isn’t broken, which sounds quite positive to me) but what this means for his season is still unknown. However, we all know what one loss does to your season in college football, unless you in the SEC, of course.

Speaking of the SEC. WE said bye-bye to Georgia (13) when Oklahoma St. (9) beat a ranked non-conference opponent at home for the first time since 1975, 24-10. Georgia had 3 turnovers and only 4 third down conversions, clearly missing Matt Stafford, but in their defense, very few ranked teams played rank opponents this week. Plus, they’ll get the SEC freebee.

Before receiving their 15th straight loss, Washington put up a fight against LSU (11), whose lead in the third was a, too close for comfort, 17-13. But the Tigers longest plane ride for a road game in school history ended in a ‘W’ with 31-23 over the Huskies.

The Tide rolled in 800th win in Alabama (5) over Va. Tech (7), but it wasn’t easy. Bama trailed by a point at the half but 2 fourth quarter TD’s put the Hokies to bed. 34-24, Alabama.

The Big Ten underperformed, in general beginning with trouble at the ‘Shoe, where Ohio State (6) skimmed past Navy, 31-27. Buckeyes by 15 in the 4th, made a poor decision to “go for it” on 4th down and didn’t convert, leading to a Navy TD and an interception by Pryor lead to a second Navy TD. The save for OSU came with the rare, return of a 2-point conversion attempt to keep the Buckeye’s from falling out of BCS view.

Iowa (22) eked past N. Iowa, 17-16. Iowa blocked what could have been N. Iowa’s winning field goal at the end of the 4th, as the ball rolled on the field, Iowa players stood and watched, until a confused Panther scooped it up. Ooops. Giving N. Iowa a second chance at the game winning field goal…and it was blocked again to avoid another Big Ten upset.

Lions roar over Akron. (I should write headlines) 82 yrs old Joe Paterno ran out of tunnel with his Nittany Lions, to lead Penn State (9) to a 31-7 over Akron for his 384th win. Penn State played an amazing first half, holding Akron to -2 yards with Daryll Clark tossing three first-half TDs and finished with a career-high 353 passing yards. The second half was less than impressive.

Nebraska (24) racked up a W with a not-so-surprising slaughter of Florida Atlantic, 49-3. Matching the Kansas (25), 49-3 win over Northern Colorado.

Last night Ole Miss (3) outscored Memphis 28-7 in the fourth quarter, including 21 points in the last 6 minutes making what was a relatively close game…not so close. With a final of 45-14, Ole Miss.

Tonight an in state rivalry takes over the state of Florida. Anywhere you go, you hear how the Trailer-hassee Criminoles of FSU are going to blown away by the Miami Hurricanes or the constant tomahawk chopping of FSU fans. Everyone is wearing a jersey and households are divided, but when I heard the chant of “what do you bleed” answered by someone’s distant “ORANGE AND GREEN!” I thought…

“yup, its college football season!” (FINALLY!)

Courtesy Flush

Eagles sign Vick. Keeping all NFL "Poop" on one team!

Eli "Rich" Man(ning)

Eli Manning’s contract extension will be for six years and $97.5 million, with $35 million guaranteed. Making him the highest paid player in the NFL!

So, “Who looks confused now??”



But as usual, being a 28 year old quarterback, in his prime with a Super Bowl ring and excellent breeding, Eli has his haters, who are asking, “Is Eli really worth it?”

Well, let’s see.

In just four years Eli Manning already had more Super Bowl rings than the entire history of the Eagles franchise. (No, that never gets old!)

Sure, Eli started, like any other Giant QB, since 1997, running the ball up the middle (and the season into the ground) with #21, so the little girl running back, wouldn’t cry. Tiki questioned his leadership skills, his own father spoofed a commercial where he traded him for Matt Leinhert (I always wanted a lefty!), others laughed at his blank expression and people wondered if he’d ever be as good as his commercialized brother.

But now, Eli Manning says, “Step aside big brother, because the Citizen Eco-drive is unstoppable as Eli Manning!”

Sure, Peyton has 100 more commercials, but his little brother won a Super Bowl, got his own commercial, trumped big bro’s contract and did it all….with a full head of hair!

If Archie is good, maybe one of his sons well let him see what it feels like to wear a Super Bowl ring and I can imagine “check time” conversation, looks something like this…



As for Tiki Barber, he couldn’t be reached for a comment (for once!).

Did I mention Eli finished last years regular season, 12-4 completing 289 of 479 pass attempts for 3,238 yards and 21 touchdowns...with a run-based offense?

So what does Eli have to say to all the critics barking "Eli may be the highest paid quarterback in th NFL, but he isn't the best!?"

"I am not only the highest paid player in the NFL but in the 90 year history of the league! I am sorry, what was the second part of that sentence, again??"