NFL Recap: Week Six

Remember those days when you’d stay home and play in the snow and build snowmen, go sleigh riding and then run inside to drink hot chocolate once you couldn’t feel your fingers and toes? Well, it doesn’t snow much in Tennessee and Sunday it was a “SNOW DAY!” for the Titans. In the mean time Tom Brady threw six touchdown passes. Five of those passes came in the second quarter, an NFL record for one period and six touchdown throws tied Brady's own Patriots record. When the Titans were done with their snow angels they were sent home with a score of 0-59, Patriots.



Arizona stepped it up against Seattle on Sunday, previously unable to get the ball to "go-to-man" Larry Fitzgerald, on Sunday, Fitzgerald caught 13 of 15 balls thrown his way for his first 100-yard game of the season. Add to this the Cards intimate relationship with Matt Hasselback, lying him on his back 5 times (for 5 sacks)and it explains the 27-3 Arizona win over Seattle.


It was hyped up as the game to watch. The undefeated New York Giants versus the undefeated New Orleans Saints. Eli Manning returned to his hometown of New Orleands only to watc Drew Brees, blow by his “number one” defense. Brees ended completed 23 of 30 passes for 369 yards. The Giants came into the game giving up averages of 210.6 yards and 14.2 points. The Saints had 34 points and 315 yards by halftime! With the final score being 27-48.

I have to try and defend my G-men against those that say they aren’t a worthy opponent, and say each pass was off by just a little, stupid mistakes gave Saints easy field position and I don’t believe the Saints were as great, as the Giants were poor on Sunday. But we did get spanked, leaving me to ask….where was my defense?



The Giants room mates (or stadium mates) didn’t fair any better. The Jets played the Bills in what seemed like a game they wanted to lose, but the Jet’s refused to let that happen. Trent Edwards was injured, and replaced by Buffalo with Fitzpatrick, who threw for less than 50%....but it’s okay. The Bills cause 5 passes from Mark Sanchez and even caught a field goal in OT. Looks like the best replacement QB for the Bills, was Sanchez. After the game, Sanchez took full blame, saying the loss was his fault…”yeah, ya think?” 16-13, Bills. Told you to hold off on those “Sanchise shirts!”

The Browns were just not meant to beat the Steelers. Each team had four turnovers. Yeah, you heard correctly, four each…eight total, but I guess the Steelers fumbles just came at a better time. Who knows how you win a game with four turnovers? Failed Brown’s defense, poor ball placement and a few touchdown passes.

Ben Roethlisberger threw two touchdown passes to a wide-open offense and the Steelers were granted a first down on a questionable measurement. It helps that Big Ben was 23 of 35 for 417 yards, Hines Ward made eight catches for 159 yards and a touchdown, Santonio Holmes had five for 104 and tight end Heath Miller caught his a touchdown pass of his own.

The Washington Redskins….the poor Washington Redskins. They have yet to play a single team this year, who had a one in their win column. That’s right. The Washington hasn’t played a single opponent with a win, yet they are 2-4. This week the ‘Skin handed Kansas City their first win, in a game that someone had to win, but nobody who wasn’t playing in it cared about. 14-6, Chiefs.

What could be worse than Washington? The St. Louis Rams, who have now lost 16 in a row. Come on, give these guys some credit…it isn’t easy losing that many games in a row, eventually you play a team like the Redskins, Lions or Chiefs. But not this week. This week Jacksonville finished with 492 yards and was 11 for 16 on third downs. Then how was the game so close, you ask? How else? Three Jacksonville turnovers! 20-23, Jaguars.

Minnesota beat Baltimore and of course, all we hard about was the great, undefeated Brett Favre…who I am sure single-handedly won the game by throwing passed up for himself to catch in the end zone and switching pads during commercials to defend against the Baltimore offense…what they don’t tell you, yet again…Favre was n’t good, but “just good enough.” 31-33, Favres.

Greenbay beat Detroit, but Detroit already has one win, so it really isn’t as much fun to talk about anymore. 0-26., Packers.

Philadelphia fans were all over the Giant’s getting beat by the Saints, but probably should have held off until they found out they lost to the Oakland Raiders. The Raiders scored the only touchdown of the game and the most entertaining part of the game was probably the pigeon. If you didn’t see the pigeon that wanted good seats to the game. Check out the video below. (A little advice pigeon…there isn’t much excitement in an Eagle’s game…may I suggest flying across to New Jersey?)
Video.



Cute bird, huh? Well he wasnt the only bird on the field that had no idea what he was doing, Donovan McNabb, referred to by yahoo as “not the most situationally aware fellow” was at it again. Last year we declared MCNabb the dumbest guy in the NFL when he told the world he didn’t know a game could end in a tie, but you know…Overtime isn’t for everyone. But is there any excuses for being down 10-3 with 27 seconds left in the first half, and McNabb going to the line, calling timeout after deciding that he didn't like what he saw on the Raiders' side of the ball.

You would think not. Probably a good decision…if you have any time outs left! The time out McNabb called was his forth and Philly was penalized for delay of game. So I brought an old friend who used to help me with numbers, to try and explain the number THREE to Donavon.


If you still can’t remember McNabb, just ask yourself, “How many more Super Bowl rings do the Giants have than the Eagles?” THREE!!!!

Week six in the NFL Recap (Say it isn't so!)

I know, you are all dying to see what I say about last night’s ridiculous performance, but you will just have to wait. Will I rip Eli apart, like I do other quarterbacks on their bad days or will I let him slide because he is the man at the helm of my World Champion NY GIANT heart? It is killing you, isn’t it? I will get to that. But first, Sunday...

The Atlanta Falcons celebrated a win over the Chicago Bears like they had just won the Super Bowl. Maybe it’s because they won the game on a 48 yard field goal, 22-20 or maybe it is because winning doesn’t come easy to the now 4-2 Falcons, but there were players hugging and lifting each other in a giant pile in the center of the field. I like to see players getting along, but I draw the line where I saw one player raise his arms in the air and point one finger on each hand in the air (no, not that one); the one you would use to say you are number one.I could see how they might think this is the end of the season, since this 4th win, tied their total wins for the entire last season. (no, not just in their division, but total). Baby Steps!! You have to learn to win in the regular season before you can play with the big boys.


I also want to congratulate the Houston Texans on their very first win! Before they know it, they will be catching up to the Falcons! Ok, ok, baby steps for them, too. Its obvious getting one win was busting their a**. I will let them bask in the glory of their single victory, after all, they tied the number of wins the team they beat had last year...total! Yup, that’s right, they beat the Dolphins. How did they do it? With Matt Schaub...he was sick in the hospital with IVs and the whole nine yards, but they would have checked him out themselves and made him play with a portable IV if they had to, after Sage’s performance last week. Matt felt no pressure I am sure, as there is no possibile performance worse than Mr. Rosenfels’s. Now that the Texans have won a game, I no longer feel I need to hold back on the Sage jokes.
Does no one else see anything wrong with a man named Sage? Perhaps his inability to perform is due to the fact that he is performing on the wrong stage. He is named after a spice! If Sage were Cinnamon....



I have to give you credit, big bro. The Colts played like the Giants have been playing and didn’t play last night. Colts over Ravens, 31-3 and it is due to Mannings flawless passing into double coverage for touchdowns. The defense had their help with Flacco throwing an interception, losing a fumble and handing off to no one, but Colts D deserves their credit for 4 sacks and holding the Ravens to ZERO first downs into the second quarter. What happened Mr. Manning, did ya feel your little brother clipping at your heels?

The Vikings just barely, and I stress barely, squeaked by the Detroit Lions and again, I saw a celebration of epic proportions, where a Viking put up the universal “we are number one sign.” What is going on? Guys! Hello? You beat a no win team, who is a contender for nothing, other than the worst team in the league. Now you think you are number one? Shall I point out that, had a referee not blown a pass interference call, you would have been out of field goal range and lost?
Come on! The Vikings should have taken their “win” and walked quietly off the field in hopes that no one would remember they almost lost to the Detroit Lions’ BACKUP! (Yeah guys! The guy that backs up Kitna!)
*These guys no that there are 16 weeks in the regular season, right?

Well I have good news and better news. I got a second chance at a survivor pool and this time I bought 2 picks. The better news, the Saints had something to prove after last week and sent the Raiders back to L.A. or Oakland or wherever they go where no one watches them play! An embarressing 34-3 win for the New Orleans Saints and loss for the Oakland Raiders.

HOWEVER, Welcome back Jay Cutler because Jason Campbell is the new Jay Cutler! STUPID JASON CAMPBELL! The Washington Redskins lost to the...St. Louis Rams. My shoe-in for the worst team in the league! Some guy named, Oshiomogho Atogwe, scored the Rams only touchdown to beat the ‘Skins, 19-17. I think Strahan put it best when he said “some teams just can’t handle being front runners!” That’s right Campbell, you cost me a Survivor pick, and you and your stupid Redskins can go and take a seat where you belong, quietly in the back shadows of the NFC EAST. The Eagles, Cowboys and Giants may not be undefeated but they did NOT lose to the Rams!

Whose turn was it to beat up on Cincy? The New York Jets. The Jets wore those ugly throwbacks again and they beat Cincy in a “no big deal game” 26-14. I am starting to wonder if the Jets dry cleaners are on strike because I have seen teams wear their throwbacks, once a season, in an effort to sell more jerseys, but the Jets have chosen this hideous attire more than once this, 6 week, season.

Tampa Bay and Carolina tie up their records at 4-2. The Panthers had three interceptions and a punt that was blocked and returned for a touchdown. Need I say more? Tampa Bay over Carolina, 27-3. I would make fun of Jake Delhomme’s three interceptions, but I can’t for obvious reasons. (If not obvious enough, See Giant game). I, suddenly, feel a deep sympathy for Carolina fans who had to sit and watch their QB throw away a chance to score, over and over and over. “It’s going to be okay, it’s just one game. Everyone is entitled to a bad game and they will be back on track next week.” (Or so I am told over and over as I pretend the Giants didn’t play last night.)

I thought about it, and I am willing to accept Jay Culter’s apology. His loss to Jacksonville was an obvious, “Please don’t hate me anymore, I can’t stand it. Look! I don’t only lose when you are betting on me. Take me back!” plea. So, Jay...it’s okay. I understand. Apparently, all QB’s have bad days (See Giants last night). Apparently, I am supposed to accept that not every game can be won and forgive, Eli. I mean you. After all, you only threw one interception last night...egh...Sunday.

Tony Romo continues his record streak for games with a fumble as the Cowboys purposely tried to lose to the Cardinals. There is no other explanation. Arizona kept a tight lead and on the last drive of regulation the Cowgirls were out of field goal range and down by 3. Read to go home, Arizona jumps offsides to place the Cowboys, barely within range of a 52-yard field goal which rolled over the cross bar to tie the game. (It took 2 tries. The first one was offset by a time out called before the snap by Arizona to ice the kicker.). The Cowgirls clearly upset that they didn’t lose, had their punt blocked in O.T. and returned for a Arizona TD. 24-30, final.

I almost forgot the most important part of that game. Tony Romo broke is finger and hopes to be back to play the Redskins. Yup, weeks from now!

GOOD NEWS: He will be back with plenty of time to choke in the playoffs.
BAD NEWS: He has to explain to Jessica Simpson why he can't just get a new finger.


Donovan McNabb threw 2 interceptions (one less than Eli) in the Eagles game against the 49ers. I can’t say I know why I still have to write about the 49ers. Even if one of them were to do something I love, like pick off McNabb, I wouldn’t even know his name. So in any even, two unnamed men wearing gold and red intercepted McNabb, but couldn’t do anything else to stop their 26-40 loss to the Eagles. Wait! I actually have something to say about the 49ers. Apparently, McNabb and Reid just passed the Montanna and Walsh combo for most wins. Joe Montana was a 49er!

Okay, Green Bay beat Seattle who was playing with a back up quarter back whose name will not be remembered and San Deigo beat New England. I didn’t watch. Sorry. But I can’t take this anymore....

THE FREAKIN GIANTS! What happened? Where was the “hand of God” last night? Eli, oh, Eli! It was like I was living a bad nightmare of your first three seasons in the NFL. The same stupid plays, the same bone head throws, the same blank expressions of “did I do that?”
The Cleveland Browns didn’t beat the Giants! The Giants beat the Giants. Eli was airing out passes to no one like he was Rex Grossman. Naturally, they were intercepted. Where was my Super Bowl Champion? Where was the guy who got angry at interceptions and shook off lineman to avoid sacks? Who was this head shaking, indifferent, rookie, I saw last night?
Are you mad at me for suggesting that I would ice Tony Romo’s hand for him? I was joking Eli. You know that you are my one and only true QB-1. I would never betray you, provided you never get traded to another team. When everyone was saying you hated football and that your daddy made you play or that your brother was the better Manning...I believed in you. When Giant Stadium was filled with T-shirts demanding Phillip Rivers back, I wore #10!So where were you when I needed you Eli? Where were you against the Browns?
They said that you didn’t have it in you, that you couldn’t win a Super Bowl. They said that you would never be as good as Peyton. I defended you. I told them to wait and see, that Eli Manning was a football god! I suffered with you threw seasons of Tiki saying you weren’t a leader and the press saying you didn’t care about winning. Until finally, there you were! A man! All grown up! Leading my team to the Super Bowl. You were yelling at receivers for missing catches. You were exerting authority. You were everything I wanted you to be.
But then last night, it all came back. You threw an interception and then looked down at your feet. You shook you head and walked off the field and returned only to do it again.
They called you OVERRATED! The stupid Browns with their Brady Quinn pity, called you OVERRATED! (Of course the Brown’s are completely ridiculous and rarely get to chant anything, so we give them what we can, as pathetic as they are. )
But you can’t let this happen. You had the Steve Smith connection all night but just couldn’t deliver. No, Eli! We have been through this! You won the Superbowl! You are a big boy now! You even grew "big boy" hair, remember?


But I was told that you are entitled to a bad game and after screaming at the tv, I decided...fine! We can get past this. We aren’t going to let the ghost of Eli’s past, haunt us into forcing passes. I have bad days...so can you. But from now on, have them in the off season.