Week 15: Patriots fans, as pathetic as Giants 4th Quarter Decisions

Okay, so the Giant embarrassed themselves this week. There is no way around it. They blew a 21-point lead in 4 minutes. I have had to deal with the absurdity that has become Eagle’s fans, all day. Seriously, I woke up this morning, checked my Facebook and thought I had missed the Super Bowl. (Then again, you have to give Eagle fans a break. They don’t know what winning a Super Bowl is like).

But even if the Giants can sit back and shine their rings while Eagle fans run their mouths, it was pathetic. A disgusting display of poor decisions and incompetence and every Eagle’s fan deserves today to flap their arms and display their inflated versions of reality because even if they are completely off the wall with comments about how Sunday will be the most remembered game in history (I wouldn’t hold my breath), the Giants should have NOTHING to say to them.

So, why do you all feel a rant of some sort coming? Because, my bone to pick is not with Eagles’ fan, who are entitled to cheer on their teams persistence on Sunday but, with Patriot fans.

Really? The Eagles out played the Giants, not the Patriots! I would love to know what the Pats did to contribute to the Eagle’s win that makes them gloat. Perhaps they recorded some sideline signals and sent them over? Or is it because, no one blows it quite like the Giants….except the Patriots!

Yes Patriots, you lost the Super Bowl to the Giants. Everyone knows it, even Eagle's fan who are probably the only others who wanted to see them lose. It was televised, you can't hide it. The Giants were destroyed by the Ravens in Super Bowl XXXV, but you don’t see me become an instant Ravens-hater or Pittsburgh Steeler fan. We lost. It happens. We got over it. So why is it that Patriot fans can’t seem to wash the bitter taste of failure out of their mouths? (Could it be because they won’t keep them closed long enough?) What makes them such hard core Eagle fans? What makes a victory against the Giants a victory for them?

What makes it so hard for Patriots fans to let go, pull up their shiny pants, brush back their Tom Brady semi-mullets and move on?

Some of them seem to feel as though they were robbed in some way. I constantly hear from Patriot fans that “the Giants got lucky.” Ha. Perhaps I can help you all rest easy by dispelling this ridiculous argument.

First, correct me if I am wrong, but was it not the Patriots that were penalized a second round draft pick for cheating that same year? Wasn’t it the Patriots who got caught taping defensive signals during the Jets game? Given that those actions were a blatant and intentional violation of NFL rules, and had nothing to do with “luck” let’s put this “wedding day pimple” size blemish, on the Cheatroits IMPERFECT season, aside for now. (After these messages from their sponsors)




Okay so let’s see where the Giants just “got lucky,” shall we?

I know! Was it that the Giants were playing their first season without their previous go-to man, Tiki Barber and adapting to a new offensive approach?

Was it that the Giants lost running back Derrick Ward, defensive end Mathias Kiwanuka and tight end Jeremy Shockey, leaving holes all over the team? **LUCKY THEM!**

Was it that the media (an “never heard from again”, Tiki Barber) were constantly in the face of Giants players, questioning their leadership? (After all, I am sure Patriot fans know how easy the media, constantly being in the locker room, can make things, right?)

No wait! I guess the luck came in when, despite the injuries and constant disruption, the Giants went on to win an NFL record 10 away games in a row, with three road playoff wins. (Easy, right?)

I guess they just got lucky and the other teams didn’t show up. They were all won by forfeit, right? Or maybe they played a bunch of pansy teams? Wrong. The Giants went on to beat every team who was allegedly superior to them. That is a whole lot of luck!

Maybe it was luck, or maybe it was because Eli didn’t throw a single interception. I guess the other teams just weren’t playing any defense (even though the Bucs had the #2 defense!).

I guess it was luck and not skill that got them there, even though they beat, the fourth-seeded Tamp Bay Bucs 24–14, they upset the top-seeded Dallas Cowboys 21–17 and advanced to the Super Bowl with a 23–20 overtime win over the second-seeded Green Bay Packers, in the third coldest game of all-time. (Boy, they sure did get lucky with that excellent weather and all the home field advantage, right?)

Let’s blame the refs. But can you? Considering at week 10 the Giants were the third most penalized team in the NFC (damn off-sides!). Hmmm...doesn't sound like that is a good excuse, Pats!

Oh. Wait. I get it. The Giants arrived at the Super Bowl with pure skill and endurance. The luck started at the actual Super Bowl, right? I guess the interception, Eli’s broken tackle to keep their drive alive, Plaxico’s game winning catch in the corner of the end zone (which he had caught many times before), were all the Football fairies coming down from the magical land of “Footballtopia” and sprinkling them with bewitching sparkly luck dust. Please.




Pats fans call it luck. You know what teams, who can put aside delusion and deal with loss, call interceptions? Defense.

When Eli breaks a tackle to complete a pass, you call it luck. When Vick does it, you call it skill? Oh, Patriots, how bitterness can skew the mind.

But even if somewhere in that distorted version of reality, all of the above can be “irrationalized” as some how, pertaining to luck...here, my hallucinating friends, is the real question. If the Patriots were so superior, why was the game left down to one “lucky” drive and one “lucky” touchdown?

You just got beat. There is no asterisk next to Super Bowl XLII saying, “Giants got lucky.” So why all of the negativity still? Why the sudden desire to flap your wings with the Eagle fans?

Yes, the Giants were beat by the Eagles. Quite a few times in fact. But I have no excuses. The Eagle’s didn’t “get lucky.” The Giants made stupid decisions (our defense is working too good, let’s change it! Really?) and the Eagles made smart ones. It happens. So why Patriot fans, are you so unable to admit defeat. Why, three seasons later, can you not admit that you were just plain beaten?

Is it the book? Come on. Don’t be sad. So you put out a book about your undefeated season and then got beaten...Whose fault is that, really? Plus, the Patriots can still write a book. They still have a story to tell. They can even use the same cover, with a few minor modifications. (Sorry, I couldn't pick just one title).




(Like how his legs are crossed? Goes with the Title: Premature Exhilaration.”)

Or how about a self-help book for pro-athletes.


Is that not it? Are you bitter because the Patriots bought the legal copyright to “19-0?” if it hurts that bad, I am sure the Giant fan who bought “18-1” will be happy to sell it to you for a reasonable price.

Are you in denial because of all those shirts and hats that went to waste? If that is the case, rest easy. The kids in Nicaragua love them.


As you can see, there are no excuses. You lost, fair and square (a concept I am sure escapes you)!

I know I am wasting my time, because there are people who cannot be reached and rather than show some sportsmanship, admit defeat and congratulate a team on a well-deserved victory, they make excuses and I understand why. They are afraid. It is easier to hate the Giants than to live in a reality of fear. No, not fear that the Giants are going to beat them or that they are a better team this season, but fear that the Giants will define them for the rest of your franchise history. Fear that whenever someone says Patriots, “18-1” won’t be far behind. Fear that no matter how good the team gets, no matter how many games they win or how important the game, the Giants will always have ended the “perfect season.” They can’t shake it. It will never go away. They can hide behind the Eagles, they can win Super Bowls, they can run their mouths, but Super Bowl XLII, the most watched Super Bowl in history, will always be what people remember. It will always be their failure. It will always be OURS!

And as for the argument that the Giants were gloating, post Super Bowl, what is your point? Weren't they entitled? They won the Super Bowl! When else should they gloat? (Apparently, Pats fans gloat when the Eagles do what they couldn't...does that make sense?)No one stops the Patriots from mentioning how many rings they have...that is their right. They earned them.

You hate the Giants because you didn't beat the Giants and even if you do in the future, you didn't beat them in the most important game in New England history! No matter what the Eagles do or what happens from here on out, that won't EVER change. You can make excuses and ride the Eagles until Brett Favre actually retires, but it won't change reality. The sooner you accept it, the sooner you can live with it and not hang on to your bitter excuses and accusations of luck. Every year their is a Super Bowl loser and every year that team and their fans GET OVER IT! Join them.

And just in case, if you really can’t accept the loss and co-exist with fans who live in reality. You don’t have to! Move to Nicaragua. Everyone there probably thinks you won!


With all of that being said, what the heck were the Giants thinking? For 3 quarters the only time anyone had to say Vick's name, was to mention that he was eating the turf again or unable to complete yet another pass. I guess that was working too well for the Giants because they changed it! Why? why change your defense when you are putting another team away? Who made that decision? I want their name and their job!

What kind of halftime pep talk did the coaching staff give the Giants? All they had to do was go in there, spank Manningham for his ridiculous fumble and tell the rest of the team "just keep doing what you are doing." Someone on that staff has Vick on their fantasy team! Unbelievable.

I think it is a bit much that some Eagle fans claim they destroyed the Giants, when they really only played quality football for 4 minutes, but those were the 4 that mattered, I guess and a loss is a loss. Giants made a stupid decision and the Eagles took advantage, but guess what...THE PATRIOTS HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT!

And really Dodge, you couldn't punt out of bounds? You used to ONLY punt out of bounds.

Other teams played Sunday, but I was in no condition to watch.

Week 14: Build me a Dome

I saw a Mark Sanchez commercial, where he said, “What powers me? Determination. A defensive line trying to put me on my back.” Good news, Sanchez. If having a d-line smash you into the turf, gives you power, you should be all powered up after this passed Sunday! The Dolphins sacked Sanchez six times. And even though the Dolphins lost 3 fumbles, had only ONE positive yard in the third quarter and only 131 yards total, we didn’t have to watch one single Jet flying around the field with his arms out like a fairy, or a plane or whatever he is supposed to be. Why is that? Because they didn’t score a single touchdown. Then, just when you thought the Patriots were the only AFC East cheaters, in the third quarter Jets Sal Alosi, New York's strength and conditioning coach, tripped Miami's Nolan Carroll while the rookie was covering a punt. Yup, the coach actually stuck his knee out as the player ran by and tripped him…during the actual punt coverage. Watch it here:



Come on, Jets! Can’t you hear the Eagles fans using this as their next excuse for Michael Vick? “We know that Vick tortured a bunch of defenseless animals, but Stallworth killed someone. We know that Vick is a psychopath, but Plaxico shot himself in the foot, he could have hurt someone… Yeah, we know Vick ran an illegal dog fighting ring, used live puppies as bait for trained killing dogs to develop a hunger for blood, but the Jets coach tripped someone. A human could have been hurt.” (My favorite is “Vick said he was sorry.” Oh well then by all mean, he must be sorry! Let him play!)

Anyway, if the Jets have any class (which is doubtful) Alosi will be leaving his parking pass and badge with security on his way out.

But not to be outdone, the Pats didn’t want to lose their solid reputation as the NFL’s biggest fraud, New England linebacker Brandon Spikes was suspended 4 games for violating the leagues performance-enhancing drug policy. Ready with an excuse the Pats claim the drug was not illegal, but medication for treatment of his attention deficit disorder. (“Vick is a killer, but Spikes took prescription drugs.”)

When asked about why he didn’t clear his attention deficit disorder meds with the NFL, Spikes replied, “ohhhh, look at the bird!”



Even without Spikes, the Patriots had no trouble with the Bears, trampling Chicago 36-7, despite the 26-degree weather and the ceaseless blizzard that took place for 4 quarters. When I saw the field, I couldn’t believe what I saw…

My shock wasn’t so much the weather, as the fact that there was that much white powder in the NFL without a Dallas Cowboy being involved.

The snow didn’t only stand in the way of the Bears; it caused the NFL to post pone the Giants-Vikings game to Monday night. Apparently, the Mall of America Stadium’s dome collapsed under the weight of the snow above. However, the Fox footage of the snow pouring onto the field through a hole in the roof looked a lot to me like the Dome is just joining the rest of us in throwing up at the news of Favre’s 297th injury of the season. Waaaaa! Waaa! Favre, even the Dome wants you out!

(Again, all that white and not a Cowboy in sight!)

Favre was wavering, as he does every week, about whether he would start against the Giants. But at this point, does anyone want him to play? The old man who cried wolf’s latest injury came after he threw one pass last week to the Buffalo Bills. The interception was Favre’s only pass before the big baby claimed to sprain his shoulder so badly he couldn’t return to the game. Good thing for the Vikings, who were losing 7-0 with Favre, went on to beat the Bills 14-38 in his absence. Sooo, did Favre really get hurt this time or did he just want to throw one pass to keep his streak going and get out of the game? (After all, everyone knows he is a team player!)

You should have saved that one pass excuse for this week Favre, considering reports claim you won’t want to be in for more than one play against the Giants defense. Line of the week: “If he plays against the Giants, it would be like feeding a wounded 41-year-old animal to a predator.” No one wants that, old man! Except maybe Eagle’s fans. (Vick might share the same mental characteristics as a serial killer, but the Giants defense beat up on elderly Brett Favre!)

Giants will take on the Vikings in Detroit, tonight and the tickets are free for those who show up. So the stadium will be filled with hoodlums and hooligans, but unlike in Cincy, they will be off the field, not on it.

On a brighter note, this weeks MVP….Jay Feely. Yes, the kicker. (Former NY Giants kicker, but don’t worry, we’ve got Tynes now! Ugh!) Normally beating the Broncos is nothing to be super excited about, however when a kicker does it on his own, it becomes worth mentioning. The Arizona kicker has 5 field goals, a rushing touch down and an extra point, to outscore Denver, 24-13 by himself. If you factor in the rest of the team the final score was 43-13, but Feely scored enough points on his own. He did miss a 45 yarder, but come on, not everyone can be as perfect as Vick. Congrats Feely, you racked up 29 fantasy points yesterday! (Does anything else really matter?)