"Fantasy" Football Potential Draftee #4 & 5: Special 2 for 1 Addition

If I can’t watch the Giants win, I wanna see the Eagles lose! And this week, I owe that to the Arizona Cardinals. While enjoying the demise of McNabb and the Filthadelphia Eagles, I noticed 2 draft worthy men on the field. Check ‘em out!

Draftee #4: More Men Should be Like, Adrian Wilson



ADRIAN WILSON
NFL TEAM: Arizona Cardinals
POSITION: Strong Safety (no, there is no such thing as “weak safety”)
AGE: 29
HEIGHT: 6'3"
WEIGHT: 230 lbs

More Men should be like Adrian Wilson. Not only because he is my first-ever, non-quarterback draftee, but because he’s loyal and doesn't just look for what's "easy."

Wilson was a strong safety for NC State and he was drafted in the 3rd round of the NFL draft by the Arizona Cardinals. He is now the longest tenured Arizona Cardinal, ever. When asked about spending 8 years with the Cards, Wilson said, “I would never abandon my team because they were losing…even if it means I never go to the Super Bowl!” Wilson stood by his team, who hasn’t seen the Super Bowl in 61 years, even though it would be easier to jump to a team, which was well on their way. So now, it is that much sweeter for Adrian, to be hoping a plane to Tampa, with the team that believed in him and he believed in, when no one else did.

Those of you wondering if Adrian Wilson had no choice but to be a Cardinal… After returning both a recovered fumble and interception, he is the first defensive player in NFL history with two touchdowns of 99+ yards in the same season; also only NFL player ever with multiple 99-yarders without the benefit of a kickoff return. He led the Cardinals in interceptions, forced fumbles, fumble recoveries, tackles for a loss and was third in tackles and fourth in sacks. His 8.0 sacks in 2005 were the most in NFL history by a defensive back since sacks became an official statistic in 1982 and also led the team. And ADRIAN OPTED NOT TO BECOME AN UNRESTRICTED FREE AGENT and stood by his Arizona Cardinals.

During Adrian’s post-game interview this Sunday, a tear streamed from his eye and he said, “we have been through so much together…”


Wilson gets drafted for his loyalty, faith, perseverance and commitment to his team, where most men would simply take the “easy way.” Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit.

But just like everyone else, there is another side to Adrian Wilson…THE BACK SIDE!


Draftee #5: Kurt “I used to be a NY GIANT” Warner

KURT WARNER
NFL TEAM: Arizona Cardinals
POSITION: Quarterback (“Ladies, Matt Leinert carries my clipboard!”)
AGE: 37
HEIGHT: 6’2”
WEIGHT: 220lbs.

Kurt Warner is a complicated man and as incredibly persistant as his teammate. After his college career at Northern Iowa, he attended the Green Bay Packers training camp, but was released before the regular season. He worked as a stock boy at a local grocery store, while trying to get noticed. With no NFL teams willing to give him a chance, he signed with the Iowa Barnstormers in the Arena Football league. In 1998, Warner was signed by the St. Louis Rams, NFL Europe team, Amsterdam Admirals. (His back up was Jake Delhomme.) Finally, when Ram’s quarterback Trent Green was injured in a preseason game, Warner took over as the starter and completed one of the top seasons by a quarterback in NFL history, whch dubbed the Ram’s offense, "The Greatest Show on Turf" and registered the first in a string of three consecutive 500-point seasons, an NFL record. He was named NFL MVP and Super Bowl MVP when he led the Rams to a Super Bowl XXXIV victory over the Titans. (That was all in his first year!)
Warner made another Super Bowl appearance before becoming a NY FOOTBALL GIANT and is now making his 3rd with the Arizona Cardinals. Their first in 61 years.

It’s rare of me to draft someone over the age of 30 (ehh, maybe 32), but it is also rare for a man of 37 to age as well as Kurt Warner. (And he's rockin the 5 o'clock shadow just like the youngsters!) Plus, I am pretty sure he could pick up girls with the line "You know Matt Leinert? He carries MY clipboard!" You would never guess that he is older than Brett Favre.

THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE DRAFTING KURT WARNER:
He's married, to a woman with children. But before you start telling Mr. Warner how he needs a younger woman without children, because women 35 and older become “scientifically” desperate and will lower their standards to marry pretty much anyone. (So if a woman 35 or older likes you…don’t be too impressed, according to studies, she’d like almost anyone! Whew! I got a few years left!) or that women with children are twice as likely to marry someone they don't love...that total tangent won't talk Mr. Warner out of his love story...

Kurt married Brenda Meoni, the woman who believed in him as a grocery bagger. Warner officially adopted Brenda's two children, son Zachary and daughter Jesse, after their marriage. The Warners also have 5 children of their own: sons Elijah and Kade, daughter Jada, and twin girls Sierra Rose and Sienna Rae.

AND HE WAS ON JEOPARDY!!!!

"What are Panthers."


GO CARDS!

Week Eleven in the NFL Recap

Let's start the week, as always... The WORLD CHAMPION NY Football Giants rocked the Baltimore Ravens. Eli had an off day, but its okay because where Eli fell short Bradshaw and Jacobs picked up. The Giants put up 210 rushing yards against the Ravens alleged, number one rushing defense. (Who is ranking these teams? The BCS?). Speaking of Defense....Aaron Ross, had TWO, count'em, one...two interceptions! Giants over Ravens, 30-10.

Despite running out of players, the Denver Broncos beat the Atlanta Falcons, 24-20. Spencer Larsen, for the Broncos played both offense and defense, literally. He played 2 different positions in the same game, where most guys can't even play one. Let's get this guy a game ball, please? The game came down to the final minute where it looked like the Falcons were going to steal the game from Denver, but the Broncos took over after an incomplete pass in the end zone on 4th down.

Panthers v. Lions, not as interesting of a match-up in the NFL as it would be on the discovery channel. I'm not sure that it is even fair to make fun of the Detroit Lions anymore. At ohhhh and ten, they just suck. They had four turnovers against the Carolina Panthers, who literally ran all over the Detroit defense with 2 players putting up over 100 yards rushing, each! 22-31, Carolina. Perhaps, Lions is too strong of a name for Detroit....


Ocho Stinko returned to "play" the Philadelphia Eagles. The only reason I watched this game is because it was on next to the Giants at a sports bar. The game ended in a 13-13 tie. I hope you weren't expecting any highlights. There were 5 quarters of football and each team only manages to score 13 pts.

The Saints were 0-4 on the road before taking on the Chiefs of KC this week. Despite their 0-4 road record and their 5-5 overall record, they are the top ranked offense in the NFL. Seriously? What do you have to do to get there, beat the Chiefs? No offense to the Saints, but who decides this stuff? The Chiefs are one and nine with that one win being the time Jay Cutler screwed up my Survivor pool pick. Saints without Reggie Bush over KC, 30-20.

The long await, return of Tony Romo. Romo had a break out game for his return. Instead of his usual one interception, he threw 2. It was like he never left and the streak of consecutive games with an interception continues. Not to be outdone, he rushed for a whopping negative three yards, with his longest rush being negative one. (So there was no positive yardage). Yet the Cowgirls snuck by the 'Skins, 14-10.

The Vikings had 210 total yards against the Bucs. That is less total yards than the Giants rushing yards against the number one rushing defense. Jeff Garcia was second in rushing for the Bucs and lead the team to a 19-13 win over Minnesota, despite 5 penalties for 54 yards. But the most interesting news of that insanely boring game is that Gus Frerotte is the NFL sl*t. He was sacked five times by five different Bucs, in the same game.


Yes, there were two more, but they declined to have their photo taken!

There was a terrible stench in Miami this weekend. Then I figured out what it was... football gone bad The Raiders were in town. Nothing stinks quite like the Raiders. With only 186 total yard of offense the Oakland Raiders took a 4th Quarter loss to the Miami Dolphins, 15-17. Don't get excited Dol-fans, you contributed to the stink of Dolphin Stadium as well, this is the first time since 2006 the Dolphins won 4 games in a row!

Speaking of "stink..." How 'bout them Bears? It was open season on the Bears of Chicago and Aaron Rodgers and Ryan Grant took full advantage. Rodgers was 27/30 with 227 yards and 2 TDs. Grant rushed for 154 yards and 1 TD, and the Bears....well, they kicked a field goal. 37-3, Pack over Bears.

Joseph Addai had 105 rushing yards, 48 receiving but that was nothing compared to Steve Slaton's 156 yards rushing. So how did the Texans lose to the Colts, 27-33? I think the real question is, WHY IS THIS GUY STILL A QUARTERBACK???
Sage Rosenfels fumbled on Houston's final drive to put an end to their hopes of beating a Manning. By the way, it looks like Peyton's got his groove back, with 320 yards and 2 TDs.


Its not often you get to say that the Niners spanked anyone, so lets give them their moment this week. Niners spanked the Rams. San Fran made five trips to the red zone and scared 5 TDs. So we won't have any Singletary rants this week...his best move was pulling O'Sullivan at QB. He threw one incomplete pass and had one run for negative yards. O'Sullivan can we sending him packing with good ol' Sage? You know what! Take Marc Bulger with you...3 interceptions and a loss to the Niners, means you've gotta go! San Fran over St. Louis, 35-16.

Speaking of 2 interceptions, the return of Matt Hasselbeck was as riveting as the return of Tony No'mo, I mean Romo. 196 offensive yards and 4 turnovers for the Seahawks made Romo look pretty. Anqun Boldin had 186 yards receiving for the Cardinals and in a close second Larry Fitzgerald had 151. Big week for the ol' timers, only Kurt Warner didn't cry. Cards over Seahawks, 26-20.

The Titans remain at 10-0 with a win over the Jaguars. The second the Tennessee trailed Jacksonville, the announcers (who never know anything about the game) were all over Collins and his potential loss. Collins threw 3 TD passes in a win over the Jags, 24-14 to keep his perfect season in tact. Can he have a little respect now, please?

Snow fell in Pittsburgh and maybe that's the excuse for the 10-11 score. The snow fall was the most interesting thing to watch in this game, unless you like to watch Phillip Rivers under perform. Tomlinson had one rushing TD and that is where the game peaked, (there was some frolicking in the flurries by Ward, too) but the Steelers came out over the Chargers, 11-10.

MNF:
Apparently Trent Edwards was watching football and taking notes on Sunday because like many QB's this week he had 3 interceptions and that will get you a loss to the Browns (ask Eli!). Brady Quinn may be recovering from having his thunder stolen by Jay Cutler last week because he threw for a measly 186 yards and if it weren't for Edwards rushing for 104 the Browns would have looked as ugly as their jerseys. 29-27, Browns.

< Brady Quinn's "Coming Out" It's Jay Cutler Day!

Oh, Jay Cutler! Jay Cutler! I am happy to see that you have gotten my message! I am completely out of Survivor picks now, so you still owe me $120K but your Thursday night performance showed a quarterback who could easily make me forget his flawed past and join my "fantasy team."
Jay Cutler threw for 447 yards and 3 touchdowns! And somewhere in the shadows of the Bronco's comeback from a 13 point deficit and Cutler's 93 yard touchdown pass to Eddie Royal, Brady Quinn was having his coming out party. Much like his appearance at the NFL Draft is was overshadowed by players who didn't come from an overrated, underperforming, Notre Dame and spend less time grooming their high-maintenance hair. Both the Denver Broncos' and Cleveland Browns' homepages present Thursday Nights game as the "Jay Cutler Story." Poor Brady Quinn…
Looks like even his fans have turned on the pretty boy…

Careful Brady, those tears will smear your make-up...Is that a “Jay Cutler” autograph I see on your arm?

Who is that leaving the stadium with Jay Cutler? Is that Brady Quinn’s sister???


I have a lot of questions for Brady Quinn:
1. How did it feel to sit in the green room with the Top Five picks and not get drafted until 22nd?
2. Did it feel worse than having Jay Cutler outshine you on your first day as starting QB?
3. Why did you spend the off season holding out on your Cleveland Brown’s contract when no one else wanted you? Did you think that no one watched the draft? That you could convince them that you were in high demand?
4. Do you really think after losing 10 straight bowl games, Notre Dame still deserves an automatic bowl bid if they make the top 12?
BUT, the one thing, I really must know Brady Quinn, is WHAT IS UP WITH THE BELLY SHIRT???




At least this cute little squirrel came to your party! (I just thought this was cute...)

"Fantasy Football" Potential Draftee No. 2

Tony Romo
NFL TEAM: Dallas Cowgirls
POSITION: Quaterback, currently caries clipboard due to broken pinky
AGE: 28
HEIGHT: 6'2"
WEIGHT: 224 lbs

Tony was a hidden gem undrafted from the University of Eastern Illinois (where?). He won the Walter Payton Award and joined Matt Leinert as Cosmopolitan Magazines Fun Fearless Males 2006. Romo is a cute, dimpled Wisconsin farm boy turned NFL quarterback and it is damn hard to find a bad picture he has taken. Look at that innocent little face.


Even when he is angry....


So what’s the “catch?”


THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW BEFORE DRAFTING TONY ROMO:
Ever wonder why Romo doesn’t have any endorsement deal? He has poor judgment. He dates Jessica Simpson and has been cursed by a 22% passer rating in her presence and terrible publicity, like this:
.
And MANLY pictures like this:


I take back the comment about not having any terrible photos. If Tony were smarter he would realize Jessica Simpson was single and waiting for a reason. Scandel and stupidity do not bode well for sports drinks and sneakers. So, for now the only endorsements you will see Tony in are ones like these:

Which brings me to the next thing you need to know about Tony: He can’t perform under pressure!
In the 2006 playoffs, Romo botched the hold for the kicker by dropping the snap as he attempted to set it down and the Cowboys lost the game on what should have been a chip shot, 19-yard field goal.
In the 2007 NFC Championship game, 4th down with less than half a minute and no timeouts left, Romo threw an interception in the endzone sending the now WORLD CHAMIPION NY GIANTS to the Superbowl! (Thanks Tony!) So, despite leading the Cowgirls in games with 300 yards passing, Romo will always be associated with this picture:


And if my calculations are correct, Romo has slept with Sophia Bush, Carrie Underwood, Jessica Simpson and Derek Jeter??