Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Slightly Off Topic: Tony Romo's Got Bigger Problems

*There was just no nice way to write this post. I wrote it and I edited it, but it just isn't possible. Sorry.

We have seen Romo choke on several occasion, but perhaps his biggest choke-fest was when girlfriend, Jessica Simpson, attended his football game in Dallas. Romo ended the game with an awesomely low 22% passer rating. He had been averaging over 100%. (Passer ratings are not on a 0-100 scale. It is possible to get over 100 and less than 0, but don't ask me how.)

When Romo went on vacation to Cabo San Lucas, Mexico on the Dallas Cowboy bye-week, before the playoffs (they went on to get their butts handed to them), some of the Cowboys referred to Jessica as a "small distraction." Well, they won't be calling her that anymore.

No, Tony and Jessica didn't break up. She just is still a distraction...it is the "small" part that no longer applies.

This weekend Tony Romo and Jessica Simpson were 5 blocks from my house, where Jessica performed at the Kiss Country Chili Cook off. Headlines say she, "showed off her new curves." By curves, they mean fat.




What does Jess have to say about her new LBS?
"Do you think the guys in here are all really looking at all those skinny girls and thinking, Wow, I want to get with her? Or are they looking at the girls with the curves and thinking, Yeah, I want to get with her!"

Gee Jess, I don't know. Let's see what you looked like when Tony said "I want to get with her!"


Yeah, you know what, Jess. You are right. People love you for your witty banter and unparallelled talent. You've got nothing to worry about. I am sure everyone remember what music video this was for...



And just think, now Tony can practice plays in the yard and it will be just like getting hit in a real game.


Plus, it is good news for the rest of us. There is no chance we have to suffer through Jessica's acting in a Dukes of Hazzard II, because she's not putting this in Daisy Dukes.


But perhaps the best news, my chances with Tony Romo have increased by at least a 15lb edge! (He doesn't need to know that I hate the Cowboys!)

Tony, next time you are in town....



*Okay, before you start sending the emails about how I am objectifying women and how I should be ashamed of myself. (yes, I got a few of those regarding the category post- I ignored them). I didn't objectify her, she did! Her fame and identity is based completely on the way she looks, so now it is completely hilarious that she would say she, "doesn't understand the needing to be skinny thing" because she's fat! So lighten up and laugh. Thanks!


And I know that she is not THAT fat. But again, her identity is based on being skinny!!!

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