Week Three in the NFL

Here is what you missed this week.
The Giants nearly gave me a heart attack. I took them over Cincy this week and they went into over time. The Giants sacked Carson Palmer 6 times in the first half alone, and only managed to enter halftime with a tied score at 13. I have no idea where the offense was....They didn’t end up showing their faces until the 4th quarter and went 68 yards in nine plays to retake the lead by 3. Only to have the Bengals kick a quick field goal and send it into overtime. Giants won the toss and did nothing impressive but managed to put up 3 points to win the game. Moral of the story, never bet on your own team cause if they lose its like being mad TIMES TWO!

Just about everyone else on the Dallas Cowboys' offense had a big night in a 27-16 victory at over the Green Bay Packers, at Green Bay. Some guy named Miles Austin for Dallas has 2 huge catches, despite the fact that no one even knew who he was. I am pretty sure even Tony Romo thought, “who the heck is that guy out there with the Dallas jersey? Oh well, he is open, here it goes!” I was rooting for Green Bay, but oh well!

A 51-yarder with 4 seconds left put the Jaguars ahead of the Colts 23-21. This seals Peyton’s fate as the lesser Manning and now Eli can safely call him and say “You wanna come over this weekend Bro and I will teach you some football fundamentals? I can let you borrow my game tape, so you can see how I do it! Or maybe we can start small by throwing a football through a tire in the back yeard???” Haha...I love it!

[Peyton: I hate you, Eli!! Daaaad! It's not fair! Eli is playing better than me!!!]


[Archie: Boys! Cut it out! Eli, I want you to take your brother out in the backyard and show him how you connect with Plaxico Burress every week.
Eli:Fine! Next thing you know, I will be teaching him to do commercials, too!]

The Eagles beat Pittsburgh 15-6 in what could quite possibly be the most boring game EVER! Donovan McNabb-hurt and a big P-word! Westbrook- hurt and out of the game! Ben Rothlisburger- hurt and played with a bandaged hand! So the game was purely defense and purely boring!

Unfortunately for the Browns, Anderson is their quarterback and he starts over Brady Quinn, so now you know, why no one wanted to draft the QB from Notre Dame! He sucks, because the guy who starts over him had 2 interceptions returned for touch downs against the Ravens. And Baltimore beat the Browns 28-10.

In the battle over “WHO SUCKS MORE” it turns out that, while the 49ers still suck, the Detroit Lions suck more. San Fran beat Detroit in a game no one watched because we tend to forget either one of them are teams in the NFL. Score: 13-31.

Seattle beat St. Louis 37-13, for Seattle's first win, which actually says nothing about Seattle because St. Louis might be the only team worse than Detroit.

Denver Broncos escaped with a 34-32 win over the New Orleans Saints, when they kicked a field goal with under 2 minutes left. This weeks theme seems to be “special teams wins (or in some cases loses) games!”

Kurt Warner had about the same game as Campbell passing wise, but his team kept turning the ball over, so in another game that I care nothing about, except that the Redskins are in the NFC East, the Redskins pulled out a W over the Cardinals 17-24.

The Titans despite having Kerry Collins (ex-giants, ex-alcoholic) as a QB, destroyed the Houston Texans 31-12. I heard some rumors that people thought, Houston’s week one loss was just a bad game and they could turn out to be a decent team when they got back from their bye week....hmmm...guess those rumors were put to rest. I am pretty sure we can file the Texans with the 49ers, Detroit and St, Louis....under G for garbage, or good bye, or great team to bet against!

But before you close that “G” file, let me put the Raiders in there too. They lost to Buffalo 24-23. However, Bills overcame three quarters of their own inability to play football to score 17 points in the final 8 minutes. So they may be joining their Raider buddies in the garbage pile if they keep playing like they did most of the game!

It is a toss up, who is the crappier QB: Thigpen or Matt Ryan? Considering Thigpen was 14 for 36, I think he can safely change his name to Tyler “I threw 3 interceptions in a game against the Falcons” Thigpen. At least Atlanta had some defense and a rushing game, to run in 3 TDs and not allow a first down for KC until the 2nd Quarter. They won, 38-14. (Hey! You said ran in 3 touch downs...where did they get the other? Thigpen's interceptions!)

G. Frerotte...do you know who that is? I doubt it...he is the QB for Minnesota. He also went 16-28 and 204 years passing against Carolina. However, they only had one offensive touchdown. Which turned out to be enough, because the Panthers fumbled for Vikings Defensive touchdown and a few boring field goals later, the Vikings beat the Panthers 20-10.


OMG! I almost forgot. I am sure you are thinking, what about the Dolphins? I am sure they lost to the Pats, but she didn't mention them! Well, I was saving them for last. Because, none other than the Miami "Yeah we wear aqua and orange" Dolphins, put an end to the Patriots undefeated regular season! Of course, they are without Tom Brady, but those are just excuses when they got rocked 38-13. Where was their defense? Last I checked, Brady didn't play defense.
Face it! Pats are no longer a team to be feared!

Monday’s Report:
48-29 San Diego over NY’s lesser team, the Jets. San Diego was robbed the last 2 weeks, so they were over due and maybe now the Jets’ fans will quiet their Super Bowl chatter.