Week Nine Eight in the NFL Recap

I know its almost Week 10 Week 9. My latest post ever! (Its been a bad week).

Where should we start? How about them NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS!? (Did I mention they are Defending World Champs?)

New York Giants defense defeated the Pittsburgh Steelers 21 to14. Oversized, I mean, Big Ben was under constant pressure. Kiwanuka alone had three sacks and a forced fumble and Kenny Phillips picked off Roethlisberger's final pass to end the game. Eli went untouched with the protection of his O-line and they all played like one big happy family. (Unfortunately, Eli’s big happy family, didn’t include Peyton this time...see MNF).

The Raven’s gave us a lesson in, How To Run a Trick Play:
The best place to test your trick play is probably against the Oakland Raiders, (unless you have Detroit or Cincy on your schedule. In that case, use one of those games to put on a magic show of trick plays...no one will even notice). Anyway, Joe Flacco took a snap, handed the ball off to backup QB Troy Smith, who then passed it back to Flacco, who ran down the left sideline for a 43-yard gain. The only way that could be cooler, is if it ended in 6 instead of 3. Ravens settled for a field goal on that play, but still defeated the Raiders, 29-10.

Perhaps the Raven’s inspired, the Cardinals to try a trick play, only less successful. No Huddle, Shotgun to J.Arrington resulted on an incomplete pass to Boldin. Their entire game was also less successful than the Raven’s, Steve Smith had 5 carries for 117 yards, Jake Delhomme was 20/28 with 2 TD’s and the Panthers beat the Cards despite Warner’s 381 yards passing and Fitzgerald’s 115 yards rushing. Final score, 27-23.

Statistically, the Bucs out played the Cowgirls. They had 267 yards to Dallas’s 172. Garcia threw for 227 over Johnson’s (the old guy who plays where Tony Romo goes) 172. But if you are going to do all that work, you have got to deliver! Neither team delivered anything in this game, but the Bucs delivered even less than the Cowgirls. The biggest and only entertaining play of the game came from a Punter. The Dallas punter wasn’t even the last line of defense against the Bucs return man who was running back the punt. But as Clifton Smith ran through the line, instead of sliding under his feet to trip the runner, in usual punter fashion, Dallas Punter, Paulescu, nailed Smith at midfield and walked off as if he does it everyday. Dallas over Tampa Bay, 9-13. http://www.nfl.com/videos?videoId=09000d5d80bf57d1

My Survivor Pick was almost lost, when I once again, foolishly bet on the Washington Redskins. Luckily, the ‘Skins defeated the Lions, but only because it was the Lions. Detroit lead Washington nearly half of the game, but in true Detroit Lion’s fashion and with the grace of Santana Moss, the lead was gone and the ‘Skins beat the Lions, 25-17.

Speaking of losing...the NFL was forced to say goodbye after a great loss this past week. After hearing that Carson Palmer would not return for the 2008 Season after surgery, the Bengals said goodbye to their already winless season. The season was never really alive (0-8) but there always remained some glitter of hope that like the Dolphins of 2007, they might just pull through long enough for one single, little win. That hope is gone now. It will be remembered only by the stone placed in the end zone by those left behind by Palmer and the touching words of the Cincinnati Enquirer’s Obituary.




Unfortunately for Cincy, they do not play the Detroit Lions (see obit) but perhaps they can get a pick-up game going, after the regular season. By the way, Houston over Cincy, 35-6.


Just when I thought the Buffalo had clinched their division, since there were no other contenders, the Miami Dolphins traded in the “wildcat offense” for something with wings. Chad Pennington and the Miami Dolphins aired out their offense with a passing game to beat the Bills, 16-25.

The St. Louis Rams are back to losing. I didn’t watch the game to be honest. However, New England beat St. Louis, 16-23. Maybe Cassel is getting more comfortable with his position, now that rumors that Brady and the Pats have trouble in Paradise. Feels more like home now, doesn’t it, Matt?

Looks like someone peed in Phillip Rivers’ English Tea. Maybe Drew Brees and the Saints ruined Rivers’ tea party when they beat the Chargers 32-37, in England. I am sure the Chargers, who chose to go with Rivers over Brees were eating crumpets of regret, as Drew Brees for 339 yards and three touchdowns. Saints enjoyed a win, Brees enjoyed revenge over his former team and a cranky Rivers had tea with a lucky fan.




Guess who threw three interceptions?? Brett Fav-ruh did! (But lucky for him he was playing KC.) That makes 11 total going into week 9. Hmmmm….Kharma, Mr. Fav-ruh? It was a close game, 24-28 with the Jets coming out over Chiefs.

Philadelphia over Atlanta, 27-14. Matt Ryan showed his green side when he got picked off in the end zone and a blown call by the referees went unchallenged by the timeout-less Falcons, leading the Eagles to a lucky win. If they played it again, I would still pick the Falcons.

Seneca Wallace was all “2’s” with 222 yards and 2 touch downs. Unfortunately, the last 2 is the number of wins the Seahawks have. This win wasn’t a big won because it was over the ‘9ers and it was overshadowed by Mike Singletary’s anger at Davis’ who after smacking an opponent in the helmet and receiving an unsportsmanlike-conduct penalty, shrugged it off. Singletary didn’t and if you didn’t see the video of his irate ramblings, google it. 34-14, final.

MNF:
The Titans remain undefeated and Peyton is still the lesser brother. What has happened to Peyton Manning? Well, a friend of mine put is best when he said, “it doesn’t matter how good he is, he can’t throw passes from lat on his back.” Where is the offensive line, Indy? Colts D forced a passing game on the Titans who have been “running” all over their opponents all season, but the Tennessee still managed 3 rushing TDs. Constantly under pressure; Manning threw 2 interceptions and still scored every TD for Indy. Throwing for 2 and rushing one in himself. He’s going to need a little help out there, Colts.

Week Seven in the NFL

Due to a long road trip, I am still not on schedule. This week, I will be on top of things!

I know, last week I talked about the WORLD CHAMPION NY GIANTS last, when they lost, but I swear it was because it was MNF. I always talk about MNF last. Anyway…

My boy is back! I took the Giants in my single remaining elimination bowl pick and my “faith” in them paid off. I know they were only playing the 49ers; the team that last week, I said I couldn’t name a single player. But this week, I can name one….O’Sullivan. He is the ‘9ers quarterback and also happens to be the man that Michael Johnson (undrafted, second year safety for the W.C. NY GIANTS) picked off twice.
I was glad to see the Giants win, but I don’t want to give Eli too much credit. This was a win by the defense; a safety, six sacks, 3 turnovers. Good game, D! Giants over those guys in red and gold, 29-17.
(Eli, I expect more from you next week against the Steelers. )

Speaking of Steelers. The Giants get no preview of what is to come next week, because the Steelers didn’t have to play this week. Nope, they weren’t on a bye…almost the same thing though, they were playing the Bengals. Dare I say, I may have mis-spoken, when I called the St. Louis Rams the worst ream in the league. Who would have thought with all that self-serving banter from Ocho Cinco, that his team would be winless going into week 8?

I know what you are thinking? Who is that guy and why is he wearing the old Dallas uniform? Well, that guy is Brad Johnson and here is what you need to know about him:
1. He is the only NFL player to ever throw a touchdown pass to himself.
2. He was drafted in 1992 and carried the clip board for Warren Moon.
3. He has played for 4 teams in the NFL (and Minnesota twice).
4. He is 4 years older than the Steeler’s head coach.
5. If the question is “who is older then Brett Fav-ruh?” This guy is raising his hand!
The last thing you need to know, is that this same guy played QB for the Dallas Cowgirls Sunday. (Yeah, I mean this past Sunday). Well, “playing” is an overstatement. He was 17 for 34 and threw interceptions. The Dallas Cowgirls lost to the St. Louis Rams; an embarrassing 31-14. (guess Dallas’s D didn’t show up either.) But, why didn’t Romo play? Well, he hurt his finger during last week’s game… “How did he hurt his finger?” Well, I am glad you asked. It actually happened during a commercial break, after Romo called a time out to help his, fundamentally challenged, simpleton girlfriend...




Of course to cover for the already dismantling Cowgirls, they blamed the poor Cards. But look at the bright side Tony, how you have 4 weeks to teach Jess to tie her shoes and you will have so much time to listen to her wonderful, nasal, forced southern twang as she pretends to be “just another Southern girl...” Come on, is there any wonder why Tony spent the week throwing passes past Coach Phillips and begging to play with a broken pinky?


The other geriatric Quarterback, reminded us that “time to retire” comes before 40 years old. The Raiders ended a 4 game losing streak, when Brett Fav-ruh’s 2 interceptions leads to an incredibly boring 13-16 victory for the Raiders over the Jets. I am pretty sure even the coaches took a nap, while the only thing that happened was a longest field goal contest. Jay Feely's 52-yard field goal with three seconds left in regulation tied the game. He actually missed his first attempt, but Raiders coach called timeout before the play started, probably because he had just realized the game was still going on, and the play was blown dead, which gave the Jets another chance. Dragging the game into overtime, where Janikowski (Raiders kicker. I know, no one knows the Raiders by name), said “Hey Feely! Take your 52 yarder and....” kicking a 57-yard field goal to finally put a, long awaited, end to a game that couldn’t have sucked anymore, if Cincy played in it!

Reggie Bush hurt his knee and the Carolina Panthers stomped all over the New Orleans Saints, like they were Tony Romo’s pinky! Final score, a shameful 30-7. I do not know when Bush will return, but he will not be drinking tea with the English next week, when the Saints to go London. Don’t worry, the English won’t notice. During last years “match” abroad between the Giants and the Dolphins, I saw someone wearing a Troy Aikman jersey (at least it wasn’t Michael Vick, right?).

Buffalo still maintains a surprising grip on the AFC East, at 5-1 with their latest victory over San Diego, 23-14. Then again, who else would contend for the division? The Brady-less Pats, The Miami Dolphins or the NY Bretts? Sounds like the Bills have this one clinched. Even more impressive though, the Bills and the Chargers played this game without electricity. Nope, it wasn’t a tribute to Brett Fav-ruh’s first NFL game (you know, since there was no electricity back then). The power went out when balloons hit an outside power line, and they played with no game clock...this small problem didn’t stop the referees from consistently calling delay of game. Perhaps it was the alternative form of timing used and the return of the self-absorbed Rivers, whose need to reassure himself of his importance, after being used as a bargaining chip to fulfill Eli Manning’s wishes, had him yelling at fans for booing him:




Minnesota v. Chicago was the complete opposite of the Jets/Raiders game, meaning that there was actually scoring going on. Despite four interception (one more than Eli last week) thrown by Minnesota, they managed to rack up 41 point against the Bears. Unfortunately for them, the Bears has 48. 48-41, Bears over Vikings.

Had I asked last week, “who is worse, Houston or Detroit?” Most people would have stared blankly at me as if I asked “Who is worse, Detroit or Cincy?” Well, lucky for us, the first of those two questions was answered this week. Houston proved that they are just the tiniest bit better than the Lions, when they won by a touchdown. 21-28, Texans. Leaving the Battle for Worst Team in NFL to be a tight race between the 0 and 6 Lions of Detroit and the ohhhhh and seven, Bengals of Cincinnati. Since the only way these two teams would meet this year would be at the Super Bowl, and we all know the only chance of that is in the stands, we will just have to watch intently as these teams continue to embarrass themselves against the rest of their respective conferences. My pick: Detroit is worse then Cincy.

Big Bro can’t blame the knee surgery after last week’s performance, so what happened Peyton? Interceptions at the one yard line? Looks like the ghost of Eli’s past took a trip to visit Big Brother Manning in Green Bay against the Packers. With a record setting 12 penalties for 110 yards, Colts lost to the Pack, 14-34.

Looks like Kansas City’s single win will remain over the Bronco’s choking performance to lose my Elimination Bowl pick. Despite KC’s attempt to remain consistently inconsistent and use three quarterbacks in a single game, the only thing their noncommittal QB situation lead to was another loss. Looks like the only thing the Chiefs are consistent at, is losing. As much as I enjoyed watching the confusion that ensues from the Chiefs decision to use the “Make a Wish Foundation” as a method of choosing a QB (“Hey kid! You ever wanna play QB for the Chiefs? Today is your lucky day, get in there!” ), I am a big fan of the passing game and Mr. Ex-Giant, Kerri Collins, only threw 18 passes to lead the undefeated Titans over the Chiefs, 34-10.
Perhaps the Chiefs thought, if they looked pathetic enough, Tennessee would give them one of their quarterbacks. After all, Vince Young is just sitting there.

Redskins continued to prove Strahan right in his comment that they weren’t meant to be front runners, when they barely passed the Browns, 11-14, after a wide right Brown’s field goal attempt. (Yeah, I know the Giants lost to the Browns, so what?)

I have to say, I never thought I would see Seattle in the running for second to the worst team in the NFL (actually 3rd, see Cincy and Detroit). Looks like the Seahawks may be desperate enough to take either Hasselbeck at this point. Senecca Wallace threw for a whopping 73 totals yards for Seattle this week. Despite wearing the prettiest jerseys in the NFL and their perfect use of bright green as an accent color, Seattle lost, yet again. This time to Tampa Bay and Jeff Garcia, who threw for 310 yards...apparently, side ways because they only scored 20 points. 20-10, Bucs.

MNF:
Looks like my favorite blue-eyes, Tom Brady back-up QB, heard what Jay Cutler did to me against KC and took it personally. Apparently he was tired of Boston’s incessant whining about “Tahm Brahdy) (said in that annoying Boston broad “A” accent) and he took it out on the Broncos. In fact, it appears the entire team was fed up, injuring an entire football family and taking out both brothers, Champ and Boss Bailey of the Broncos. Despite it being primarily a running game, Cassel can now say to his “Bahstahn” fans, “Shut up! you could have Jay Cutler!”