I know, last week I talked about the WORLD CHAMPION NY GIANTS last, when they lost, but I swear it was because it was MNF. I always talk about MNF last. Anyway…
My boy is back! I took the Giants in my single remaining elimination bowl pick and my “faith” in them paid off. I know they were only playing the 49ers; the team that last week, I said I couldn’t name a single player. But this week, I can name one….O’Sullivan. He is the ‘9ers quarterback and also happens to be the man that Michael Johnson (undrafted, second year safety for the W.C. NY GIANTS) picked off twice.
I was glad to see the Giants win, but I don’t want to give Eli too much credit. This was a win by the defense; a safety, six sacks, 3 turnovers. Good game, D! Giants over those guys in red and gold, 29-17.
(Eli, I expect more from you next week against the Steelers. )
Speaking of Steelers. The Giants get no preview of what is to come next week, because the Steelers didn’t have to play this week. Nope, they weren’t on a bye…almost the same thing though, they were playing the Bengals. Dare I say, I may have mis-spoken, when I called the St. Louis Rams the worst ream in the league. Who would have thought with all that self-serving banter from Ocho Cinco, that his team would be winless going into week 8?
I know what you are thinking? Who is that guy and why is he wearing the old Dallas uniform? Well, that guy is Brad Johnson and here is what you need to know about him:
1. He is the only NFL player to ever throw a touchdown pass to himself.
2. He was drafted in 1992 and carried the clip board for Warren Moon.
3. He has played for 4 teams in the NFL (and Minnesota twice).
4. He is 4 years older than the Steeler’s head coach.
5. If the question is “who is older then Brett Fav-ruh?” This guy is raising his hand!
The last thing you need to know, is that this same guy played QB for the Dallas Cowgirls Sunday. (Yeah, I mean this past Sunday). Well, “playing” is an overstatement. He was 17 for 34 and threw interceptions. The Dallas Cowgirls lost to the St. Louis Rams; an embarrassing 31-14. (guess Dallas’s D didn’t show up either.) But, why didn’t Romo play? Well, he hurt his finger during last week’s game… “How did he hurt his finger?” Well, I am glad you asked. It actually happened during a commercial break, after Romo called a time out to help his, fundamentally challenged, simpleton girlfriend...
Of course to cover for the already dismantling Cowgirls, they blamed the poor Cards. But look at the bright side Tony, how you have 4 weeks to teach Jess to tie her shoes and you will have so much time to listen to her wonderful, nasal, forced southern twang as she pretends to be “just another Southern girl...” Come on, is there any wonder why Tony spent the week throwing passes past Coach Phillips and begging to play with a broken pinky?
The other geriatric Quarterback, reminded us that “time to retire” comes before 40 years old. The Raiders ended a 4 game losing streak, when Brett Fav-ruh’s 2 interceptions leads to an incredibly boring 13-16 victory for the Raiders over the Jets. I am pretty sure even the coaches took a nap, while the only thing that happened was a longest field goal contest. Jay Feely's 52-yard field goal with three seconds left in regulation tied the game. He actually missed his first attempt, but Raiders coach called timeout before the play started, probably because he had just realized the game was still going on, and the play was blown dead, which gave the Jets another chance. Dragging the game into overtime, where Janikowski (Raiders kicker. I know, no one knows the Raiders by name), said “Hey Feely! Take your 52 yarder and....” kicking a 57-yard field goal to finally put a, long awaited, end to a game that couldn’t have sucked anymore, if Cincy played in it!
Reggie Bush hurt his knee and the Carolina Panthers stomped all over the New Orleans Saints, like they were Tony Romo’s pinky! Final score, a shameful 30-7. I do not know when Bush will return, but he will not be drinking tea with the English next week, when the Saints to go London. Don’t worry, the English won’t notice. During last years “match” abroad between the Giants and the Dolphins, I saw someone wearing a Troy Aikman jersey (at least it wasn’t Michael Vick, right?).
Buffalo still maintains a surprising grip on the AFC East, at 5-1 with their latest victory over San Diego, 23-14. Then again, who else would contend for the division? The Brady-less Pats, The Miami Dolphins or the NY Bretts? Sounds like the Bills have this one clinched. Even more impressive though, the Bills and the Chargers played this game without electricity. Nope, it wasn’t a tribute to Brett Fav-ruh’s first NFL game (you know, since there was no electricity back then). The power went out when balloons hit an outside power line, and they played with no game clock...this small problem didn’t stop the referees from consistently calling delay of game. Perhaps it was the alternative form of timing used and the return of the self-absorbed Rivers, whose need to reassure himself of his importance, after being used as a bargaining chip to fulfill Eli Manning’s wishes, had him yelling at fans for booing him:
Minnesota v. Chicago was the complete opposite of the Jets/Raiders game, meaning that there was actually scoring going on. Despite four interception (one more than Eli last week) thrown by Minnesota, they managed to rack up 41 point against the Bears. Unfortunately for them, the Bears has 48. 48-41, Bears over Vikings.
Had I asked last week, “who is worse, Houston or Detroit?” Most people would have stared blankly at me as if I asked “Who is worse, Detroit or Cincy?” Well, lucky for us, the first of those two questions was answered this week. Houston proved that they are just the tiniest bit better than the Lions, when they won by a touchdown. 21-28, Texans. Leaving the Battle for Worst Team in NFL to be a tight race between the 0 and 6 Lions of Detroit and the ohhhhh and seven, Bengals of Cincinnati. Since the only way these two teams would meet this year would be at the Super Bowl, and we all know the only chance of that is in the stands, we will just have to watch intently as these teams continue to embarrass themselves against the rest of their respective conferences. My pick: Detroit is worse then Cincy.
Big Bro can’t blame the knee surgery after last week’s performance, so what happened Peyton? Interceptions at the one yard line? Looks like the ghost of Eli’s past took a trip to visit Big Brother Manning in Green Bay against the Packers. With a record setting 12 penalties for 110 yards, Colts lost to the Pack, 14-34.
Looks like Kansas City’s single win will remain over the Bronco’s choking performance to lose my Elimination Bowl pick. Despite KC’s attempt to remain consistently inconsistent and use three quarterbacks in a single game, the only thing their noncommittal QB situation lead to was another loss. Looks like the only thing the Chiefs are consistent at, is losing. As much as I enjoyed watching the confusion that ensues from the Chiefs decision to use the “Make a Wish Foundation” as a method of choosing a QB (“Hey kid! You ever wanna play QB for the Chiefs? Today is your lucky day, get in there!” ), I am a big fan of the passing game and Mr. Ex-Giant, Kerri Collins, only threw 18 passes to lead the undefeated Titans over the Chiefs, 34-10.
Perhaps the Chiefs thought, if they looked pathetic enough, Tennessee would give them one of their quarterbacks. After all, Vince Young is just sitting there.
Redskins continued to prove Strahan right in his comment that they weren’t meant to be front runners, when they barely passed the Browns, 11-14, after a wide right Brown’s field goal attempt. (Yeah, I know the Giants lost to the Browns, so what?)
I have to say, I never thought I would see Seattle in the running for second to the worst team in the NFL (actually 3rd, see Cincy and Detroit). Looks like the Seahawks may be desperate enough to take either Hasselbeck at this point. Senecca Wallace threw for a whopping 73 totals yards for Seattle this week. Despite wearing the prettiest jerseys in the NFL and their perfect use of bright green as an accent color, Seattle lost, yet again. This time to Tampa Bay and Jeff Garcia, who threw for 310 yards...apparently, side ways because they only scored 20 points. 20-10, Bucs.
MNF:
Looks like my favorite blue-eyes, Tom Brady back-up QB, heard what Jay Cutler did to me against KC and took it personally. Apparently he was tired of Boston’s incessant whining about “Tahm Brahdy) (said in that annoying Boston broad “A” accent) and he took it out on the Broncos. In fact, it appears the entire team was fed up, injuring an entire football family and taking out both brothers, Champ and Boss Bailey of the Broncos. Despite it being primarily a running game, Cassel can now say to his “Bahstahn” fans, “Shut up! you could have Jay Cutler!”
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