Where in the World is "Pacman" Jones?

In case you missed Mr. Jones this week, or were wondering where he was during Sundays brutal beating of the Cowgirls by the St. Louis Rams...
Pacman is suspended for a minimum of four games. When, despite a 24 hour babysitting detail, provided by the Cowboys, for Jones, he got into a “scuffle” with one of his babysitters...er... security guards. Even though GM, Jerry Jones, brushed off of the incident, Adam was suspended indefinitely by the NFL for, again, violating the league’s personal-conduct policy. The suspension will last a minimum of four games, without pay...


However, after hearing Goodall’s comments on the matter, Jerry Jones didn’t seem to sure about Pacman’s future with the Cowgirls.
“Adam was on a very narrow window of behavior coming into the NFL, more so than any player we’ve had on the Cowboys. He did not stay within that narrow range. I regret that it didn’t work for Adam and work for the Cowboys.”
It doesn’ t appear that changing his name back to Adam is going to work for him this time.




Commissioner Goodall also seems fed up with Pacman’s inability to follow the rules.
“Obviously, something is not going correctly — we just reinstated him six weeks ago. Either he’s not getting the message, I’m not communicating it properly, or he has some other issues going on that we would like to understand better.” Goodall said.

So, is Adam “Pacman” Jones, heeding the warnings that are, so obviously, contained in the words of those who sign his paycheck? Where in the world is Pacman Jones, during this four game (and possibly indefinite) suspension?

Is he....

A. Working out in his front yard with T.O.



B. Working on a new video game, where Pacman avoids the police as he gobbles up dollars before the strippers can get to them.


C. Working on his new book; an autobiography and self-help guide.
Adam “Pacman” Jones: Football, Fighting and Felonies.


D. None of the above.

While, at first glance all of the above may seem like viable answers, there is really only one possible answer.
'A' can’t be the answer because while we all know that a public scene with Terrell Owens is the inevitable moment we have all been waiting for since, Jones was picked up by the Cowboys, 'A' implies that he actually cares about things like, staying in shape and his on-field performance.

'B' seems like something he would definitely come up with, but something like developing a video game would actually require backing by a video game distributor/developer and I don’t know about you, but I haven’t seen any Pacman Jones endorsements lately and I doubt his phone is ringing with offers.

‘C’ is probably the most obvious wrong answer. We all know that the Cowgirl’s don’t read or write. If they did, they would know that their contracts contain a “no play, no pay” clause, which means if they get arrested and can’t play...they aren’t getting paid.

So the only possible answer is D. None of the above.

I know, I know...so, where in the world is Pacman Jones?? Well, we all know that no one wants NFL players to actually have to take blame for their own actions and Adam has already blamed an innocent video game character; Jerry Jones blamed the body guard and Adam's entourage took the hit for the strip club shooting...
So who are they going to blame this time? Alcohol.

Adam Pacman Jones has checked into an alcohol rehabilitation facility in some other part of the country(guess that rules out Texas). It wasn't Adam's fault, it was the alcohol, right?
Call him a pain in the a**, a criminal, a deviant, but do not call him stupid. In one single move, Adam Jones went from being an, out-of-control, rule breaking, nuisance to the NFL on the verge of being suspended indefinitely from the league to a commiserating alcoholic, victimized by the afflictions of a burdensome disease he cannot control. Puh-lease! Are we not forgetting the real victim here?




BONUS: In case you were wondering where Adam Jones got the nick name "Pacman," perhaps the following chart will help answer.

LOOK FAMILIAR????