"We’ve got Cowboys and Falcons and Seahawks…oh my!"
No Wizard in Oz or Eagle in Philly is going to want a piece of this Defense! The only time these guys are going to see any competition, is with each other!
The G-men have stacked their already stacked defense this week with 3 free agents. Chris Canty, Michael Boley and Rocky Bernard join the Giants D, already comprised of, Justin Tuck, Osi Umenyiora, Mathias Kiwanuka, Dave Tollefson, Fred Robbins, Barry Cofield and Jay Alford.
Do we really need that many men on Defense? Probably not. Far be it for me to question the genius, that is the New York Giants decision making team, but then why on Earth would we acquire so many players for the same unopen positions?
Well, perhaps it is because Osi’s coming back from a knee injury, which limited his 5 Hour energy shots (he did the commercials, remember?) to pacing the sidelines and we are unsure of his ability this season. Maybe it is because, in all honesty, I have no clue who Dave Tollefson is and that guys job is in jeopardy. (the new standard for whether you are making it in the NFL, should be whether I recognize your name or not. If don’t know who you are, don’t spend your last paycheck, quite yet!).
Eli, are you suggesting that these talented men are simply a pawn in our scheme to replace Plaxico with a receiver who is “lighter on his feet” (or just that one foot)?
Well, that is what the Giants are denying, and therefore most likely to be true.
Hoz…Houzma…Houzmen…Houshmemama……Houshmandzadeh. That’s right! I may need to brush up on my spelling of this ridiculously long last name, or maybe I will just call him T.J. because rumor has it, Mr. Houshmandzadeh (yeah, I am cutting and pasting that) wants to be a New York freakin’ Giant. Who knew a man who spent so much time with Ocho Cinco (there’s one I won’t misspell) could be so smart. All smart men want to be G-men! The real question is, do the Giants want you, T.J.?
I hear, the Giants really want, Michael Crabtree. He has a, corner end zone, grab like Plaxico, but without all the sirens and flashing lights. Just what my boy, Eli, needs!
The problem is, who doesn’t want Michael Crabtree?
“Out of bounds? Who needs out of bounds? I’ll just make this awesome grab in the corner with 8 seconds and run it in! “
Anyone who watches College Football, especially those tired of seeing that little number 1 next to the name Texas, has seen this first hand:
Now, we all know that the G-men gave a performance this past season, just riveting enough to keep them out of reach of a quality draft pick. So what are the Giants willing to give for the “best wide receiver in college football?”
Rumor in the Northeast is (and we all know, Yankees know best…kidding, as I alienate half of my audience) 3 picks! Yup, you heard me! THREE PICKS! This years first round, this years second round and next years first round.
I have to ask, with guys like Boldin and Houshmandzadeh out there, is he worth three picks? Maybe. But my concern is the Giants will force him the ball, even when he isn’t open, to get these 3 picks worth. When he doesn’t perform under those conditions, they will trade him away, only to see his stellar performance on another team. (Look at Shockey! Ok, you are right, bad example! )
UPDATE: T.J. Houzmenzadah (or whatever) is now a Seattle Seahawk. This stuff happens faster than I can type it. 5 years. $40 million. Not bad.
In other news, you can hang on to your 27 jerseys, Giants fans, but your 34’s are no good in New York. Brandon Jacobs has signed a 4 year, $25 million contract with the Giants, but Derrick Ward will be joining the Bucs for a measly 4 years worth $17 million (and thus the end of Earth, Wind and Fire).
Not so GIANTS news:
The Titans are inking a 2 year contract with my very favorite, Penn State alum, ex-NY Giant, alcoholic, quarterback Kerri Collins, worth 15 million and 8.5 million guaranteed. Not bad for a 36 year old man. That’s what happens when you finish the regular season, 13-3 with a first round bye in the play-offs, FAVRE!
There’s trouble brewing in Denver. I thought getting rid of Shanahan was a dumb move on the Broncos part, but can we all see it now? McDaniels and his peeps, put their quarter back and my favorite, elimination bowl blowing, QB on the trading block; only to lose the trade bid and the trust of his quarterback. Good freakin' luck! Jay Cutler lost to the Chiefs and the Raiders this season, to destroy my elimination bowl picks (Stoopid, Jay Cutler!) and I didn’t piss him off...actually I am pretty sure that he loooves me!
Who were the Broncos offering poor Jay Cutler (yup, I always refer to him by his full name) for? Mr. Matt Cassel, of course. We talked earlier in the season, during my “fantasy draft” about him being a ‘wanted man.’
It appears that the Chiefs wanted him most. Cassel will be playing for a comfortable 14 million for one year in Kansas City. The funny part? The headlines read, ‘Cassel ready to compete for Starting Job with Chiefs.” I am sorry, but who is he competing with? Are the chiefs having another “Quaterback for a Day” raffle? They had 2 wins last season, and one was against the Oakland Raiders (that doesn’t count!). So, I would say, Chief fans, it is safe to go ahead and pre-order your Cassel jerseys!
Still out there….
Ray Lewis and Kurt Warner. My guess, they aren’t going too far. Ravens and Cards, respectively.
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