Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Oops! McNabb Still Sucks! (Retraction, kinda)

Oops! My earlier post said that the Cowgirls lost to McNabb. I got caught up in the whole McNabb failure thing! I got the score right, but the teams wrong.

What really happened is that in the finals seconds, Tony Romo threw a game winning touchdown (that doesn't happen everyday!)... and it didn't happen Sunday either. The Cowboys dancing and cheering in the end zone failed to notice the little yellow flag laying in the grass. HOLDING! No touchdown, no time...and McNabb wins by accident.

It's not everyday you get to see the Cowgirls lose and McNabb fail, in the same game. You can imagine my confusion.

The important part of this game though, is still McNabb sucks! Number of touchdowns as a Redskin...ZERO! (Hey, that's the same number of TD's I have as a Redskin!)

Week One: Mcnabb Fails in Red, too!

Week one is a little delayed because San Diego lost my elimination bowl pick (plus I went to buy my wedding gown)! But seriously, who loses their elimination bowl pick in week one?? Better yet, who loses to the Kansas City Chiefs? The Chargers, that’s who! The best performance by Phillips Rivers was the tantrum he threw on the field when the center failed to snap the ball in time delay of game was called. There was stomping and pouting…he even kicked the ball. (It only went a few yards but hey, that’s a step up from his passing game!) 14-21, Chiefs over Chargers.

I do have another pick left, which was safely placed on the Titans. I was a little hesitant because I find Vince Young to be unpredictable, but I can pick up 10 random people on my way to Oakland and beat the Raiders, so I figured it was a safe bet (then again, I also thought I could beat Kansas City…apparently my football skills are superior to those found in San Deigo)! The Raiders were murdered by the Titans, 13-38.

The season opener was played at the new (and waay cooler than Dallas) Giant Stadium (shut-up Jets fans, you know that’s what its called)! I was a little worried when I saw the Eli Manning sad face in the first quarter, but then something changed... until now, few have you believed in my red glove theory, but now it is time you see the light (or the red gloves).

Interceptions were thrown, Eli’s passes were bouncing off players numbers, slipping out of their hands… then Eli looked over and saw something, something familiar, something comforting…


And next thing you know...

Not one!


Not two!


But THREE touchdown passes to Hakeem Nix.


“But that’s Hakeem Nix, not Plaxico Burress!” This is true, but have you seen those gloves somewhere before?


That’s a nice picture of history being made! Wanna see it from a different angle?

Looks like Deon Sanders in the background there may have lost a few bucks on that game. It is all about the red gloves. 18-31, NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS over Panthers (and “the other” Steve Smith).

The Lions (and Tigers) and Bears. OH MY! Okay, now that I got that out of the way, just when you think the Lions can’t lose anymore, they lose Matt Stafford against the Bears to a shoulder injury and just when we thought they’d been beat by everyone…they get beat by the refs. After the officials called this pass incomplete with 25 seconds left, they handed the Lions their 21st consecutive road loss.

Clearly they are not familiar with the “helmet catch.” 14-19 Bears.

The Cowgirls played the Redskins, which is normally an easy call for me. I hate Dallas and Washington is harmless, but not as easy of a decision this season. I hate the Cowgirls, but I also hate Donovan McNabb. I was torn… but as I watched the game, I realized I love watching Donovan McNabb fail in any color!


Déjà vu? 7-13 Cowgirls over McNabb McNabb over Cowgirls in the most boring game ever. (SEE ABOVE SEMI-RETRACTION FOR CLARIFICATION ON MCNABB'S FAILURE).

I take that back the Ravens beat the Jets in a sleep inducing game, 10-9. I like seeing the Jets fail, too...

Oh, but not as much as the Eagles! McNabb, Kolb, Vick…does it really matter? I can tell you that Michael Vick doesn’t care about the first 2 and he doesn’t care much about the Eagles either for that matter. You know who he does care about? Michael Vick!

Eagle’s starting QB Kevin Kolb suffered a concussion and left at halftime leaving Vick to step in, but of course, no one wants to profit from someone else’s injury, right? WRONG! Despite Kolb’s injury and LOSING 27-20 to the Packers, when Michael Vick was questioned about the game Vick's answer was that he was happy about it. I guess that is all that matters right, Vick? After all, those guys out there in the same color shirt as you, they aren’t there to win games…they are just there to make you happy! Now there is a guy who belongs with the Eagles!

Better watch out Kolb, it appears that if Vick had known sooner that all it took was your injury to get some play time, you wouldn’t have survived the pre-season.

The Colts lost to the Texans. I can only hope big brother Manning does as poorly this week against Eli! 24-34, Houston.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON!

Last night, I had a dream that an incredibly old man was run over by a car. It was a strange dream but what was really odd was that I wasn’t the least bit sad. I just woke up, washed my face, looked in the mirror and said, “WHO DAT?”

Then it hit me. IT’S FOOTBALL SEASON!

I clearly had that dream because the Saints are going to run over the Vikings tonight, to open the best season of the year…IT’S FOOTBALL SEASON!

The reason I wasn’t sad, when the old man was run over by the car, was because that old man was obviously, Brett Favre! No, I don’t want to see Favre die, but I knew that man in my dream wasn’t dead, because as we all know, it just isn’t that easy to get rid of Brett Favre!





We should be so lucky...his "career" would finally be over- everyone knows the Oakland is where football players go to die. (Sorry, Jason Campbell but you had to know it was coming after your stellar 4-12 season!)

Tonight the Vikings take on the Saints in the Super Dome and finally...IT'S FOOTBALL SEASON!!!

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Look Who Got Caught With Their Favre Down…



Many football fans (including myself), thought Brett Favre should have retired as a Packer…let’s face it, he is old, he’s a cry baby and did I mention he was old (40 is like 200 in football years). I couldn’t figure out why he kept coming back, but on Monday when Favre announced (for the third freakin’ time) that he was not likely to return next season, it suddenly became clear…

The man just wants to leave a legacy…and now he has…

If you watched the game on Sunday Night, the score teetered back and forth between the Saints and the Vikings, the majority spent locked in a tie. For each touchdown scored, the other team would answer. But of course, the only thing the announcer talked about was Brett Favre (by the way, does anyone else hate when Troy Aikman announces a game as much as I do? When Reggie Bush fumbled a punt return, he spent 10 minutes discussing whether Reggie ever had possession. NEWS FLASH TROY: he didn’t need to have possession, it was a PUNT!).

Anyway, all they talked about was Favre. So, you want to talk about Favre? How about the 5 turnovers the Vikings had? How about the way Brett spent 20 minutes crying about his leg after throwing his first pick of the game? (Man up, old man! You are 40 years old and have thrown a record number of interceptions…we know it is you and not the ankle. You aren’t fooling anyone!)

How about we talk about Favre's crowning moment? The moment when he decided the fate of his team, the moment when he laid it all on the line…and threw an interception…

Or how about we let this guy do it… (if you reading this in your email, you need to go to the actual site and listen to the announcing in Minnesota of the final pass by Favre)



As they would say in New Orleans “déjà vu.” With the score tired at 28 all, the Vikings were marching down field with just seconds on the clock and were within field goal range, when Favre scrambled out, saw a hole and instead of running, he went for the legacy and threw the ball straight into the hands of New Orleans Saint, Tracy Porter, who ran up field with it and sending the game into OT. That would be Favre’s last play of the season and the Saints would win the toss in over time and end the game with a field goal, to send the Saints to their, first ever, Super Bowl.

So, do you see the legacy yet? Brett Favre is not only the only football player to retire from the NFL a record THREE times, but he ended each one of those “careers” with an interception. (That takes REAL skill)

That’s right, in the 2007 NFC Championship game, (once again in overtime) Packers won the overtime coin toss, but on the second play from scrimmage, Favre was picked off by the Giants' Cory Webster, and the Giants ended the game and Favre’s career as a Packer with a 20-23 win. (They would go on to be the WORLD CHAMPION NEW YORK GIANTS)

Again, in 2008, down 24-17 to the Dolphins in a “must win” game, deciding who would go to the playoffs,then Jets quarterback, Brett Favre threw an interception on Miami's 25-yard line with five minutes remaining and seal the fate of the New York Jets, who would be heading home to watch the playoffs on tv. Remember, how sweet it was to see Chad Pennington, who the Jets released for Favre, take the Dolphins to the playoffs with a final win over the team that released him for the old guy? I loved it and later, Favre would eventually retire…again.

Then we saw Sunday night, as the pressure was on and the game was on the line…Super Bowl or home…Brett Favre’s final play would be, once again, an interception. On Monday he announced it would likely be his last game, but he would let his team know sooner than last time. (Gee, thanks Favre!)

We can only hope that he means last game ever and not last game as a Viking!

How much more embarrassment can these ladies take?

(yup, that is Brett's mom, wife and daughter)

But that is not all…

Brett Favre’s two interceptions took over the record for the most interceptions by a QB in postseason history with 30. (YAY, FAVRE!)

So in honor of Fav-ruh’s making of history, I thought that I would recap some of his other career highlights. Those that make Favre a QB we will remember, forever.

January 20th, 2002 (back before the retiring, crying, unretiring,crying, retiring, crying, unretiring…) in the NCF Divisional playoff game, Brett Favre threw six interceptions, 3 of them returned for 6 points by the Rams (Remember when you could say Rams and playoffs in the same sentence and it wasn’t followed by laughter?). 28 of the Rams 45 points were due to Brett Favre himself. (I know 3 TD’s is 21 points, but another was returned to the 4 and the Rams scored on the next play…still Favre’s fault!) Great game, Favre!

In 2003, the Atlanta Falcons lead by Michael Vick (hey, another name that is no longer associated with quality football), visited the icy Lambeau Field where the Pack were undefeated in the freezing weather, for the NFC Wildcard. Apparently, Favre wanted to break that record also…the second half started with a 24-0 lead by the Falcons. Most teams would say, with an entire half to play, the game could still be turned around. And it might be true…if your QB isn’t Brett Favre. The only "come back" in Favre’s mind was “come back home and watch the playoffs from the couch!” He managed one TD, but on their next six possessions, an interception and a lost fumble by Favre would add to the 4 turnovers (in just those 6 possessions) that would send the Pack packing! But that wasn’t the end of Favre…

Again, in 2004, once again an NFC Divisional Playoff game, this time in Filthadelphia and with the game in Brett Favre’s favorite choke position…OT. (Maybe he gets tired by then.) The Eagle’s failed on their first OT possession (I can hear the gasps of surprise everywhere!), but what happened next is what sealed the Eagle’s fate. Brett Favre, pulled back the arm he so much loves to show off and aired out a beautifl, high flying, bomb of a pass, to a wide open…Brian Dawkins (yeah, he was an Eagle). One field goal later, “bye bye Packers.” Another Brett Favre classic!

In 2006, the Packers met Rex Grossman (who??) and the Chicago Bears in Green Bay’s home opener and Brett’s final season as a Packer (we can only hope!) Apparently, Brett wanted to go out in style, and that style was scoreless. A shut out, at home. The cause of this shut out? Well, let’s just say Brett Favre’s continuous hurling of the ball toward no one (maybe that’s where Grossman learned it), except the 2 fourth quarter completions to THE OTHER TEAM, didn’t help matters. But I am sure that ESPN found a way to blame some one else.

We all know how the 2007, 2008 and 2009 seasons ended…interceptions (followed by retirement and then unretirement).

So, I hope that Favre has set his records and made his legacy as interception king and can finally do us all a FARVO (or favor, in English) and GO AWAY! (I should probably specify “and not come back” because it isn’t the going away he has trouble with, it is the staying away).

God help us all, if it true goal is to blew a season for EVERY NFL team by throwing a game losing interception. Think of all the retiring, tears, unretiring, tears, we’d have ahead. (UGH!)

I know a lot of people are looking to see what I say about the Jets-Colts game, too, but did anyone, besides Rex Ryan, seriously think that the Jets were going to the Super Bowl? Seriously? Did you think that Braylon Edward was suddenly going to turn the team into Super Bowl Champions? Haha. That is sad enough, I don’t need to poke fun at those poor people.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Happy New Year!

Once again spotted out on the town...Donovan Mcnabb in his pretty red party dress, this time, celebrating the new year!




I don't know why he is making that face...maybe he is enjoying the music or maybe that guy behind his is standing closer than we think.

But if you are wondering what McNabb's New Year's resolution is....

"I won't score any more NFL touchdowns!"- McNabb

So far so good, buddy! Way to get shut out! As usual...keep dancing!

Monday, December 14, 2009

NFL Recap Week Fourteen: It's Been a Long Time

I know. I know. I haven’t written in a while. I am sure you are all thinking that it’s because the Giants have been losing, but I was away for Thanksgiving, my brother got married and I’ve been packing up my belongings for a move… and who am I kidding, it is hard to write a blog about football when your football team is losing every week.

Let’s try and see what I have missed since week 10.

I guess I can’t avoid it, the New York Giants got spanked on several occasions, but let’s look at the bright side, this week Eli had zero interceptions (they did fumble four times), we figured out why we have Hakeem Nix on the team with 110 yards receiving and New York did go in front 31-30, when Domenik Hixon broke two tackles for a 61-yard, catch-and-run score and even after a big play, they didn’t quit. They scored again for 38 total points! (Eagles had 45) Did I mention Eli threw for 391 yards? (My little boy is growing up!) But not matter how bad a Giant’s team…they can still beat the Dallas Cowgirl and we will always have that to smile about!

Plus, who needs to win the NFC East (I DO!) when you can be on the Simpsons. (Isn’t that what the Eagles say about Super Bowls? Who needs them?)


Poor Cooper. While we are on the subject of Mannings, Eli’s bog bro, Peyton remains undefeated.

And I would imagine his conversation before the game, went something like this…



Yeah, that’s right, Peyton “laser rocket arm” Manning, threw three picks this week, but just to be safe, he also threw 4 touchdown passes breaking NFL records for most consecutive regular-season wins (22) and most wins in a decade (114), plus beating the Broncos 16-28 and wrapping up home-field advantage throughout the AFC playoffs. Yup. Just like that.

The New Orleans Saints also remain undefeated, but by the skin of their teeth. (Do we have skin on our teeth?) After almost losing to the Redskins in OT (as if it isn’t embarrassing enough to be in OT with Washington), the Saints skimmed passed the Falcons this week in a 26-26 win. Did I mention, Atlanta was playing without Matty Ice (how can that not be your favorite NFL nickname?) and some other star guy? A W is a W, but New Orleans is scarping together wins…let’s face it Brees, you are just not a Manning.

After losing Big Ben to a concussion and their back up guy, whose name I never knew, to a broken wrist in the same game, the Steelers were pretty much opening up for fan participation day. Big Ben sat out due to a fear for his due to previous concussions, but he’s back and apparently no one told the O-line about the need to protect Ben’s head. Steelers lost their fifth straight game to the Cleveland freakin Browns. (it’s like when the Eagles lost to the Raiders…remember that? Hahaha!) and Roethlisberger was sacked 8 times, but don’t worry, he’s been sacked 9 before. Seriously, that can’t be good for that concussion thing he has going on. Put the fliers back up guys! 6-13, Browns.


(It isn't mean. Jeff Garcia has played every where...and done nothing)

The Bills beat the Chiefs and the Vikings beat the Bengals, but Ihate Brett Favre and I don’t care. Moving on…

Remember the Sanchise? The cute little name the Jets gave their team after 2 wins with Mark Sanchez…you know, before they went on a losing streak? Well, you know what the Jets needed to break that losing streak? To lose the Sanchise! Kellen Clemens (who???), the guy who was supposed to take Pennington's, place before Favre and Favre’s place, before Sanchez, led the other NY team to a 26-3 victory over the Bucs. If you overlook the fact that they were playing Tampa Bay, it seems impressive for a first ever start. ($5 if you can name the Bucs quaterback!)

Tom who? The Pats lost to Miami last week and again this week to Caronlina. Looking a lot less like an 18 AND ONE quaterback this season…blame the super models that keep poppin’ out his kids. Giselle gave birth to Tom’s second son with a super model and they are having trouble coming up with a name…hmm…son of Tom Brady and Giselle? How about “I’m gonna be hot and rich” Brady?

Ravens over Lions 48-3. Texans over Seahawks, 34-7. Titans over Rams, 47-7. No surprises there!

But I’ve got great news, the Redskin beat the Raiders 34-14. Why is that great news? Because it means the Eagles are the only team in the NFC East to lose to the Raiders. And “Oakland Raiders?” has become my favorite line of the season. Although, Philly’s also first in the NFC East, so…I guess it isn’t as great as I thought, but you know what is?

The Cowgirls lost to the Chargers. After Dallas’s kicker blamed several missed field goals on faulty ball handling by the snap holder, the Cowgirls decided to return to Romo as the holder. Did they forget why they replaced Romo as holder in the first place? On 4th and goals before the half, Dallas sets up for a field goal….the ball is snapped…and the hold is bobbled. Seriously Romo, you are still doing that? 20-17, Chargers.