“Shockey Goes to Rehab: Why Mommy won’t be home for a few months.”
This past weekend Jeremy Shockey showed party-goers that he handles his booze, like he handles a football…very poorly!
(Speaking of handles, what is that I see around your waist there, Shockster?)
Jeremy Shockey was found unconscious at Las Vegas club, Rehab, after drinking too much alcohol in the desert heat. (Fundamentals of Football: Gotta keep hydrated…guess you should’ve paid more attention at practice, mister!)
That this happened on a Sunday afternoon, doesn’t surprise me because I have always found Mr. Shockey’s decision making ability to be especially deficient on Sundays.
What does astound me is that, he was later released and said to be “in good shape.” To which my question must be, “in good shape for what?”
Unless he received liposuction, a hard core military-style workout and a miracle from God (or a complete body transplant) this man is certainly NOT in good shape for football season. As a matter of fact, he doesn’t appear to be fit for any competition that doesn’t involve him shoveling some sort of food product down his massive neck at an alarmingly rapid rate.
If it involves hot dogs and a stop watch, then yeah, he’s in good shape!
But, if he has to do anything more rigorous than a ‘right-hand-to-mouth’ action, I see an oxygen tank and possible coronary in his future.
I’m no doctor, but the only way I would use to describe that shape is “out of!”
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