What's in a name: The Sissy Name Theory

Bet you thought that I forgot about the Houston-Tennessee game, this Sunday. Well, I did. But I am going to make up for it now.

Anyhow, I have, in other posts, presented my ‘Sissy Name Theory' which says that, you can expect, no more, from an athlete, than his name allows. If you give your son a sissy name, expect him to play like one. (See the many posts I have written regarding Sage Rosenfels).
This theory also applies to the spelling of a name.
Ex. Rian Lindell, he missed 2 field goals, from 20 yards out, in the same game. (Ryan Lindell, may have made those). I should also clarify, that Rian is, in fact, listed on the team roster as a kicker. So, yes, that is his job and he sucks at it.
If you get cute and creative with a guys name, sure, he may grow up to be cute and creative, but don’t expect him to be a good football player.
For some reason, I don’t see this happening:

Then again, put nothing passed John Madden.

Still don’t believe me? Allow me to draw your attention to the Houston Texans.

This season they played with 2 different Quarterbacks. Matt Schaub started the season as QB-1, but after sustaining a tear in the MCL if his left knee (Remember from “turf toe” post that, tear = bad!). He was then ‘replaced’ (and I use that term very lightly) with back-up, Sage Rosenfels.
So let’s take a look at “Matt versus Sage,” shall we?

Matt (diminutive of Matthew)- male name of Hebrew origin, meaning, Gift from God.
Grace divine is an indispensable gift from God for development, improvement, and character expansion. Without God's grace, there are certain limitations, weaknesses, flaws, impurities, and faults (i.e. carnality) humankind cannot overcome. Therefore, it is necessary to increase in God's gift for added perfection, completeness, and flawlessness.
So who needs, Matt/Matthew, a Gift from God?

Detroit Lions:

Cincinnati Bengals (Ocho Cinco, in particular)

We all could use a little perfection, completeness, and flawlessness...


Sage (diminutive of sixteenth-century English tea)-Unisex (first clue!) name of English origin meaning an herb.
Sage is a perennial shrub (yeah! That sounds manly!) that comes from mountains in the south of Europe, but it grows in gardens in the middle of Europe, as well. Its long and thin leaves are soft and felt-like. From May or June it blossoms white to pink or blueish-purple flowers.
Sage tea inhibits the production of sweat, and is used to lessen strong sweating, resulting from hormonal changes in youth or in menopause. As sage also contains estrogen-like substances, it helps prevent menopausal problems and those of menstruation. Additionally, rinsing with sage tea can alleviate v****** discharge. (I struggled with whether that was too much, but it appears that people were only startled by the bleeped term). This helpful herb can also, strengthen the digestive system and metabolism to guard against obesity and even mouth odors.
So, who needs, Sage, the medicinal herb?

Old fat old women with bad breath

A pubescent teen with an STD...

OR any combination, thereof...

So that is what’s in the name. How does that name, effect the player?
*The following stats are from 2008 only.

Matt Schaub:

*Note: He's not that cute anymore.
Matt started 8 games for the Houston Texans and had a record of 5 wins and 3 losses. (Nope, no ties, McNabb. And one of those losses was the game where he was injured and Sage took over.) He threw for 13 touchdowns, 9 interceptions and 2,460 yards.
Passer Rating: 92.7

Sage Rosenfels:

*Note: He's still that goofy looking
Sage started 6 games for the Houston Texans and had a record of 2 wins and 4 losses (plus the game he blew for Matt). He threw for 6 touchdowns and 10 interceptions (please note that the number of interceptions exceeds the number of TDs), and 1, 431 yards.
Passer Rating: 79.5

Need more?
Sage’s only 2 wins were against the Jacksonville Jaguars (5-9) and the Cleveland Browns (4-10).
Matt’s most recent win (second game after return from injury) is against the Tennessee Titans (12-2).

Maybe it was the weather? Wait, no. They play in a dome. Hmmmm....

So, where they playing with different teams? Different coaches? Different recievers?
Nope. Only with different NAMES!

Matt Schaub and the Texans over the Titans, 13-12. (Obviously, nothing else to talk about).