My Heart Hurts....

...and I don't wanna talk about it!



I love you G-men, I always do
My blood runs red, but it also runs blue.
Even though our season is now said and done
And you blew it twice on short 4th and one.
Through cold games and bad calls, and even the good
I know that Eli is just misunderstood.
I was there when we lost Plax and when we lost to the Browns
I was there for converted and non-converted 3rd downs.
I was there for the touchdowns, the field goals, blocked kicks
I was there when we beat the Sea hawks, 44 to 6!
I was there to be crowned number one in the east.
I was there when they called us the NFC Beast!
We smiled we cried, we smiled some more
And now I feel your pain of a season 12 and 4
But we all make mistakes, your only just men
And next year I’ll suit up, all over again.
We’ll conquer the bad times, the good times the hard
But until then consider me a temporary Card!


Go Cardinals!

Everbody Hates Favre!

Thomas Jones threw Brett Favre under the Madden Horse Trailer this week when he told the world...
"The other day, the three interceptions really hurt us. I mean, that's just reality... If I were to sit here and say, 'Oh, man, it's OK,' that's not reality. ... I don't like it, I know everybody else on the team doesn't like it!"
He wanted Brett Favre out of the game when he was playing poorly and felt like the NFL's cry baby was getting special treatment.
"If somebody is not playing well, they need to come out of the game. You're jeopardizing the whole team because you're having a bad day. To me, that's not fair to everybody else. You're not the only one on the team. So when you get to the wire and somebody is just giving the game up, I mean, it's just not [fair]."


But Thomas Jones wasn't the only one....
Safety Kerry Rhodes gave Fav-ruh an ultimatum, "If he's dedicated and he wants to come back and do this, and do it the right way ... and be here when we're here in training camp and the minicamps and working out with us ... then I'm fine with it. But don't come back if it's going to be half-hearted or he doesn't want to put the time in with us."

But is all this hostility really over Favre's chokingly delicious performance against the Dolphins? Or is it his 'Tiki Barber-like' attitude?


Other Jets were quoted as calling Favre a "distant" teammate. He refused to eat with his teammates, didn't engage in team activities and spent his downtime away from teammates in an office specially designated for him refusing to socialize with other players.
My favorite was a player quoted as saying "The guy throws the ball all over the place and no one calls him out on it!"

Looks like Favre's inability to play well with others extends past the field of play and into the locker room. Go easy on him guys, you wouldn't want to force him into retirement, before he is ready...

Week Sixteen Recap Quickie: Merry Xmas Giants Fans!

Shhhh....you hear that?

That is right! You can hear it clearly now that all those haters are quiet.
On Sunday Night, the WORLD CHAMPION NY FOOTBALL GIANTS clinched the number one playoff spot and secured home-field advantage for its entirety. Giants fans have been emailing me disappointed that I didn’t post this week and asking me if I watched the game. Did I watch the game? Ha!
In the history of the NFL, three teams have had two running backs rush for 1,000 yards in the same season. The NY Giants plan to make that four teams with Brandon Jacobs and Derrick Ward. A bum knee can’t hold down Jacobs, who already has 1,089 yards. And his buddy Ward is only 52 yards from reaching 1,000 yards after rushing for a legend...wait for it....dary...215 yards to beat the Carolina Panthers in OT Sunday, 34-28.
*Note: The Giants game against the Vikings means NADA to New York, once Ward gets his 52 yards he will be joining the rest of the first string on the bench. Merry Christmas, Minnesota.

Sorry, Its Christmas for me too, so no full recap this week.

Week Fifteen in the NFL Recap

*I know as so many of you reminded me, week 16 starts tomorrow, but it is hard to write a football blog when your team fails to score a single TD. Gimme a break and enjoy.

As I am sure you know by now, I am a Giants fan. That is the World Champion New York Football Giants, I am referring to, by the way.
As you also know the Giants (up until recently) have had a stellar 2008 season as the reigning Super Bowl Champions and I have loved every minute of every opportunity I have had to rub their eleven wins in the face of World Champion doubters.
However, it appears, they have now reverted to mediocre football and a questionable effort, at best. So it is only fair, that I address their shortcomings, as I would for others.
In the last two games, I have watched the G-men flop around on the football field like last years Dolphins(maybe not that bad…). It is true that the World Champions have been faced with many obstacles in the past weeks, from the Plaxico Burress foolishness to the injury of Brandon Jacobs, but even though I love my Giants, does that really excuse the lack of offensive touchdowns and Eli Manning being sacked 8 times? How many touchdown passes do you expect from a QB lying flat on his back? Where was the O-line that only allowed 15 sacks all season?
Well, I hate to provide another excuse for the G-men under performing, but it appears that Tony Romo and the Cowgirls may have taken advantage of the Giants off-field distractions and provided a little distraction of their own.
Sun-sentinal reported that security at the Stadium had to remove a female fan who was wearing a rather 'racy' Santa outfit and carrying inappropriate signs. Security said that there were children present at the game and her fishnet stockings, bathing suit bottom and high-heeled boots were not suitable for their viewing. The girls response, "you couldn't even see my underwear!" (Yes, that is what she actually said.) Who was this distraction?

(http://www.sun-sentinel.com/sports/sfl-ginstfan08,0,5429105.story)
*Note, this actually took place at the Eagles-Giants game in New York, where it was, probably about 20 degrees.
Giants disgraced themselves against the Cowgirls this week, 20-8.

Well, at least we are not the Washington Redskins, right? This Thursday, the 'Skins fumbled their way to a loss against the Cincinnati Bengals. Eleven other teams managed to beat the Bengals, by doing the only thing you have to do, in order to beat them...showing up! Washington just couldn't hang on to the ball, fumbling like a team of 'Tony Romo's in the post season.' The Bengals racked up Big win number 2 and the Skin's fall to 7 and irrelevant. (See ya next season, guys!)

Speaking of irrelevant.
Seattle 23- St. Louis 20.
San Diego 22- Kansas City 21
Philadelphia 30, Cleveland 10.


Actually, I had a request for San Diego, Kansas City. So lets talk about how the Chiefs managed to blow a 21-3 lead, which they were still holding in the 3rd.
After a field goal, the struggling Chargers placed their post season prayers on an onside kick and the football gods were listening. After the ball bounced of the chest of a KC Chief, the Chargers recovered and marched right into the end zone, scoring a touchdown, they couldn’t manage to score the entire game. However, it appeared there was a football god who had the Chiefs in this weeks football pool, because KC got the ball back with plenty of time and a delay of game penalty put them within field goal range. However, only one teams prayers could be answered and it looks like the Bolts prayed harder because the ball was shanked to the left, and after a 21-3 lead, Chiefs lost to Chargers, 22-21.

But that wasn’t the biggest “oops” of the week...
Buffalo Bills lead the New York Bretts with 1:54 on the clock. Buffalo with the ball had to complete one simple task to win the game and knock Blubbering Brett Favre out of the AFC South play-off spot...run out the clock. Hold on tight to the ball and run it. But instead Buffalo decided to opt for the pass, and a ticket home. Instead of running out the clock, Losman fumbled the ball (See Tony Romo in NFC Championship game), which was recovered by a Jet, who fumbled the ball toward the end zone, picked up by another Jet, who was pushed into the end zone by a tackle from a Bill. It was what I am sure Brett Favre would describe as a tear-jerking play for both teams. Bretts over Bills, 31-27.


Indy v. Detroit was half relevant. Peyton Manning showed his obvious favorites and through for 142 yards to Clark and 104 yards to Wayne. Leading the Colts to their seventh straight win and making them a serious post season, Super Bowl contender. As for their opponents...well, we will all be hearing about Detroit in the post-season...everyone will be calling them with trades to secure their uncontested number one draft pick. 21-31, Indy.


Bear beat the Saints in the Dome. It was a rough day for the Saints, who despite allowing 2 kick returns for touchdowns, hung on for over time where, PENN STATER, Robbie Gould kicked one through the uprights to win by three. Bears over Saints, 27-24.
Same deal in the other Dome, where this time the home team took the 3 point over time lead to win. Atlanta and Tampa Bay battled out the lead for both the game and the NFC wild card spot, both teams now 9-5, but the Falcons took home the W. (Well, they were already home, but you know what I mean. ) 10-13, Falcons.

Oops. Did I miss Green Bay and Jacksonville on my list of irrelevants? Add Jacksonville 20, Green Bay 13, to the “who cares?” column.

Wow. There are still a lot of games left to talk about. Long week.

Minnesota Vikings beat the Arizona Cardinals, 35-14. Perhaps I should say Adriene Peterson beat the Arizona Cards. Sure Minnesota’s QB, whatever his name is, threw for 4 TD’s but it was Peterson’s 165 yards rushing that got them there. I wonder, (Giants included), do teams really watch game tape? If you opponent has one player and one play...shouldn’t your game plan be, “shut him down?” Another reason, I should be the NFL’s first female coach...well, I guess, I would be the second, after this one:


Baltimore played Pittsburgh and you would think that with the amount of drama involved...that the Cowgirls were playing. What exactly are the rules of football? The winning TD was scared when Holmes caught the ball with 2 feet in the end zone but the ball outside the end zone. Being ruled a TD, the Ravens challenge was unsuccessful, because there was no conclusive evidence to overturn the call, but had it been called “No TD” that also would have stood. Huh? What the really mean is the referees stood in a circle saying “Did the ball break the plane? Did it not break the plane? Wait! Does it even have to break the plan? I don’t know. Do you? Anyone have a rule book.?” And when the 90 seconds allowed for review was up, they had no answer and the play stood as called. Drama didn’t end there, after the game the Steelers celebrated like they won the Super Bowl, telling the Ravens they were the #1 defense. (Who cares, by the way?) Ray Lewis said “they only had one drive, they didn’t make plays all game.” to which Holmes said “we made plays when it counted!” Again, WHO CARES? Regardless of who made what play when and if it was even in compliance with the NFL rules, Pittsburgh won 13-9.

New England beat Oakland 49-26, but me and nine friends can beat Oakland (yeah, I know that only equals ten, I am trying to help the Raiders out.) So the real point of this game is, who the heck in the AFC East is going to the playoffs? There is a 3-way tie and the only thing that is for sure is that Brett Favre will cry. (You thought I was going to say Buffalo isn’t going, huh? Well, that is also true.)

The other AFC East playoff spot contender is the surprising Miami Dolphins. They continue to play ugly but extremely efficient football. Never scoring a single point more than they have to the Dolphins defense beat the Niners 14-9. The only stand out performance was the one Joey Porter gave in support of Plaxico Burress’s gun toting philosophy.

Porter carries a gun himself and thinks that all NFL players need to protect themselves by carrying a weapon. Maybe you are right, Mr. Porter. Maybe we are being too hard on Plax, but before you lead your crusade to change the NFL to National Firearms League, allow me to remind you, Plaxico is allowed to carry a weapon, he just has to also carry a permit and registration...and if he would like to use it to shoot himself in the leg, far be it of us to stop him, but me must do so in a location where he does not place those who want to keep their limbs, in danger. To put it simply...

Who Shot Plaxico Burress?

We all know since the Super Bowl, Plax has been nothing short of a pain in the *ss for many people around the NFL. So who shot Plaxico Burress?


Suspect #1: Tom Coughlin (and the NY Giants)

Tom Coughlin and the NY Giants rewarded Plax for his 2007 championship season with a five-year, $35 million deal at the start of this season. It was particularly beneficial to Burress who was able to use all that extra cash to pay all the fines he's drawn from the league for criticizing its officials, and from the team for showing up its head coach, skipping practice, skipping meetings...He has an authority problem, specifically a head coach problem.


Suspect #2: Tom Brady

Before the "Giant Loss" or the "Super Bowl Watched Round the World," whatever you want to call it, Plaxico Burress predicted the Giants would beat the Patriots in the Super Bowl, 23-17. Brady’s answer was to laugh at Burress, saying “"We're only going to score 17 points? OK. Is Plax playing defense?"
Well, we all know that Plaxico served Brady a nice, warm glass of, “what the hell are you gonna do with all them 19-0 shirts?” when he caught the winning Giants' touch-down. (P.S. Brady, you were 3 points short of 17).

Suspect #3: Jerry Jones

(That man is already creepy enough without me photo shopping.)
We all know how that Cowgirl’s love their trouble makers. (See here). Jerry Jones’s eyes were bound to light up when he saw a Buper-bowl champion, fighting with his coach, yelling at refs and skipping practice. The thought was bound to cross his mind, as it did mine, “Wow. This guy is one weapons offense short of playing for the Dallas Cowboys.” Jones knows that other teams cut players who spend part of the season in jail, and perhaps he saw an opportunity to pick up a receiver...if he could only get Plax caught with a weapon of some sort…hmmm….


Suspect #4: Plaxico Burress

Is it possible that Plaxico Burress, who has a history of shooting himself in the foot, figuratively, has finally done so, literally? Carrying an illegal weapon, in a night club, that accidentally went off and shot himself in the leg? Since he is now facing charges of weapons possession, I guess this time he did shoot himself in the foot BOTH figuratively and literally. SEE YA IN DALLAS, PLAX!

Suspects that were ruled out early in the investigation:

Brett Fav-ruh:

We all know he doesn't have the..."guts"... to shoot anyone.

That Cute little Squirrel From The Broncos-Browns game. See here.


*NOTE: In order to find guns to photoshop into these pictures, I had to search "guns" and various gun terms on Google. It is likely that I am now on the FBI's Must Watch list.

Brett Farve Favre, Through out the Tears

Brett Favre has cried on several momentous occasions through out his life. It never mattered to him whether he was on national tv, or when Laura Ingraham said "I didn't know there was a woman quarterback in the NFL." Favre has been true to his emotions, since birth. But before we judge him, many of us cried or would have cried on these occasions as well.

He cried at birth, like most of us. (this is an obvious re-enactment of the birth of Brett Favre, as there was no digital photography back then)



He cried on his first day of school...…you can see how that might be a problem (spelling had to give the poor kid some trouble, Farve, Favre...whatever!).




He cried when they shot Bambi's mom (but didn't we all?)



When he met his true love John Madden for the first time. They do have an unnatural connection.



He cried when he...he bit his tongue? (Oh come on! You know that hurts!)


He cried when the NFL told him he had to go to rehab for his pain killer addiction or pay $900,000. (Thats a pretty tough decision for anyone, isn't it?)


He cried when he broke the most career interceptions record (300)...I wonder if he will cry when Tony Romo takes this over?



I don't know why he is crying here, but my guess would be he either realized that an NFL Quarterback, worth millions, who only works once a week for about 6 months out of the year, has nothing to cry about.


He cried when he saw this image on the Jumbo Tron. (not a good look for old man Fav-ruh)


He cried when he lost to the Giants in the final game of his career (which would only turn out to be his final game as a Green Bay Packer and not as big of a deal as he originally thought).


He cried when he retired from the NFL


And he cried when he unretired from the NFL




All of these events can be devastating or at the very least troublesome. Maybe if we stretch our imaginations and try to conceptualize what it might be like to get paid millions to play a game, hear our name chanted by our fans, have people recognize us wherever we go, win a Superbowl, and have our face on the cover of a video game, we could sympathize with Brett. Its a tough life, but some one's gotta live it. Just because he gets hit by 300 pound linemen doesn't mean it doesn't hurt him when he stubs his toe or someone calls him a blubbering girl. So up until this Thursday, I felt that Brett Favre's tears were genuine and everyone was too harsh on the man for showing his true feelings...

HOWEVER! This Thursday, Brett Favre cried, after beating the New England Patriots.


He cried because he beat a team playing with a Rookie quarterback in his first starting season, who is under the pressure of playing after Tom Brady's almost undefeated season. I don't get it Favre. Was it because you just squeaked by and one with a field goal in OT? Was it because Matt Cassel out played you, throwing for 400 yards and 2 TDs and you finally realize you are too old for the NFL?? I can' figure this on out!

Did Matt Cassel hurt your feelings?


Through tears and sobs, Brett Favre was the second best quarterback to play on Thursday night, throwing for 258 and 2 TDS, but the Bretts beats the Pats in OT, 34-31.

Giants Rock Cowboys!

I worked hard on this photo-shop job and forgot to put it up yesterday!



I know that Romo didn’t play Sunday, but he’s more fun to make fun of than the old guy who QB’s for the Cowgirls now, and either way...the only thing I love more than the Giants, is the Giants rockin’ the Cowgirls!