“He’s Just Not That Into You…”

“Harsh words from the best-selling dating coaching book may set single women quarterback-less coaches free.”

Why won’t he call me? Why won’t he play for me?
Why doesn’t he want to go out with me? Why won’t he be my quarterback?
Why doesn’t he like me? (Well, that one is still applicable!)

(Yes, Jay Cutler has his very own 'Bat Phone!' That line goes directly to Jay Cutler.)

Why won’t Jay Cutler call you or play for you, McDaniels? Why doesn’t he want to stay in Denver with you as the head coach?

Well, maybe it is because you openly offered him up for trade, in hopes of obtaining Matt Cassel. (Jay Cutler doesn’t want the sloppy seconds of a desperate man!)

Maybe it is because he was promised that the coaching staff would remain the same even though the Broncos made the ridiculous choice to fire Shanahan and now he doesn’t even know anyone’s name! (You are a liar and a cheat, McDaniels!)

Maybe Jay Cutler is just tired of the Denver weather! (Jay Cutler has feelings too…cold!)

OR…


Maybe, He’s just not that into you!

Yeah, that's the book/movie that tells women (or in this case, coach) that if a man (QB) isn’t calling, you should stop making excuses because, in it’s title’s harsh words, chances are “He’s Just Not that Into You.”

What that book neglects to do is tell men (QBs), that before they get so cocky and think that women/coaches are waiting for their phone calls, they should probably consider that there are other men/players on the market and they just may not be the best one. Perhaps I should write a reply book called “Maybe You are Just too Into Yourself (Jay Cutler)!”: There are a million, nope, billion men out there and you are probably a heck of a lot luckier than you think! So take a look around before you start thinking someone is waiting for your call.

Yup, I mean you, Jay Cutler. You know I love you, but perhaps you should consider a few things.

Maybe, you really aren’t “all that!”: Since you have been on the team (for the third straight season) the Broncos have not made the playoffs! (Okay, maybe we can blame Plummer for some of that)

Maybe, there are better men out there: Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford had an excellent performance at his pro day and the Detroit Lions need picks! Which means, you might end up in Detroit! (Still cold, still sucks…only worse!)

Maybe, you are not that great of a catch (or pass): Your passer rating was an average of 85.

Maybe, you should appreciate how lucky you really are: I am not sure if that is worse then ending up in a trade for a some problem player and Brady “Nobody Picked Me” Quinn with the Browns. Cleveland…seriously?

Maybe, you are unreliable: Worse, you lost me 210K in my elimination pool when you lost to the KC CHIEFS and the OAKLAND RAIDERS!



Yeah, I still like you, (notice at the beginning of the post, I loved you), but I am a very loyal and understanding girl! What are you really worth, Jay Cutler?

But don't worry, I have no idea how they get your QB back rating, either...no one does! I am pretty sure it means...absolutely nothing!

Seriously though, stop crying because it is NOT cute! You don't wanna end up this season's Brett Favre!

PS. You can’t just leave Denver, what the **** (I’m not moving to Detroit!)

Final Week in Regular Season Recap: "Jenny Says"

The final week in the NFL always has a bunch of games that mean nothing and no one cares about, so to talk about all of them would be a waste of time. So I have decided that for this weeks recap, we are going to play a little game you may be familiar with called "Jenny says..." (yeah, just like the song) This is how it works, it is kinda like Simon Says only totally different. I think you will get it. There were 2 major "stars" this week in the NFL, see if you can figure who they were.

Jenny says, "Raise your hand if you completed less than 50% of your passes this week!"



Jenny says, "Raise your hand if you turned the ball over more than three times this week!"



Jenny says, "Raise your hand if your team if not going to the play-offs and it is all your fault!"



Jenny says, "Just stand in front of the mic and look like the Perdue Chicken Guy if you won as many NFL games this season as she did and that your future role as a coach in the NFL is the same as hers!"


Jenny says, "Shed a tear if you are an overage cry baby whose team wishes they had never traded away their quarterback for because now that guy is going to the playoffs and they aren’t."


Jenny says, "Keep crying if you were to retire now the last thing you did as an NFL player was throw an interception to keep your team from going to the playoffs!"


Jenny says, "Cry if a coach got fired just for hiring you as the teams quarterback!"

Jenny says, "Look like a sore loser if you ran off the field and refused to shake Chad Penningtons hand after he beat you for a spot in the playoffs and made a fool of you on National TV!"


The Eagles needed a miracle to go to the play offs and they got it.
Buc lost to the Raiders, 24-31.
Giants lost to the Vikings, 19-20.
Bear lost to the Texans 34-21.
Everyone of those games were upsets and everyone of them were needed for the Eagles to go to the playoffs. McNabb only had to complete 12 passes to get there because the Cowgirls had 5 turnovers, to lose 44-6.

Chad Pennington and the Miami Dolphins had the biggest come back season, winning ten games more than the Dolphins did last year to take a spot in the playoffs, over Brett Favre.

Turkey Day: NFL Recap

I guess the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade looked like a better option than ever this year, considering all 3 NFL games were blow outs. Here is what you missed while you were flipping channels and eating Turkey:

The traditional Thanksgiving day game belongs to the Lions. This year you would have thought they would play a little harder considering it may be their only nationally televised game of the season. But the Detroit Lions, have developed their own, new tradition, LOSING… And losing badly!
Kerri Collins lost his first fumble of the season, but mistakes like those mean nothing when you are playing the Lions of Detroit. As a matter of fact, Kerri Collins probably could have stayed home and ate turkey. Better yet, put in the turkey! 47-10, Titans.


But don't worry, Detroit. Some of us thought of you on Thanksgiving...


While you were feasting on Turkey, the Cowgirls were feasting on the Seahawks. What is there to say about a 34-9 win over Seattle? Romo has 3 TDs in his first 3 drives and of course, an interception. Owens had 98 yards receiving and a TD. Seahawks, just laid back and took it.


The closest game of Turkey Day was the other birds, the Eagles’ 48-20 win over the Cardinals. Kurt Warner had three touchdowns passes, however he also had 3 intercepted passes to balance it out. It appeared McNabb, has learned a lot in his last 3 games. First that an NFL game can end in a tie, then that he can and will be benched and most recently throwing the ball to your own team makes it easier to win the game. But where does McNabb get all of his information???
When asked at a press conference Tuesday how he had learned he was still the starting quarterback of the Philadelphia Eagles.
"I was told by the janitor," said a smiling McNabb, who will open against the Arizona Cardinals here Thursday night.
"You know, me and him have a pretty good relationship around here. It's a pretty good conversation we had."