MATT CASSEL NFL TEAM: New England Patriots (Future remains uncertain) POSITION: Quaterback AGE: 26 HEIGHT: 6'4" WEIGHT: 230 lbs
Matt Cassel is a man of many talents. At the University of Southern California, he played QB-2 and saw his only college start, as a tight end, but he did start one season at USC...as a baseball player. Matt was drafted by the Oakland Athletics in the 2004 MLB Draft and in 2005 was drafted in the 7th Round of the NFL Draft by the New England Patriots. After serving as back-up QB to Carson Palmer and Matt Leinhart in college and Tom Brady as a Patriot, Matt is the only known quarterback in NFL history to start an NFL game at quarterback without ever starting at quarterback in college. This 2008 season he was called up to QB-1 to fill the shoes of Tom Brady.
I don't know about you, but I didn't miss Tom very much! Cassel didn't take his team to the playoffs, but had 2 back to back games throwing for more than 400 yards and kicked a 76 yard punt. (Brady kicked a punt once, it only went 36 yards)
(His dimples and ability to rock the 5 o'clock shadow, still fall number 2 to Matt Leinhert, though!)
He is a wanted man: This season the Pats have to place the franchise tag on Mr. Cassel and there has been talk of as high as first round drafts picks for the dimpled, cutie pie. Kansas City, Minnesota and even Miami have been rumored to be making offers. (Sure would be nice if he came to Miami...hmmm....)
Things you need to know before drafting Matt Cassel:
Cassel may have a bit of a "#2 syndrome" after playing back-up to Palmer, Leinhert and Brady most of his life. I am not sure if that contributed to his out-going, attention grabbing nature or if he is just crazy, but just like being #2 didn't stop Matt from kicking ass this season, his inability to sing and dance, doesn't stop him either...
Yes, he called himself flamboyant. His bravery is so adorable, yet....well...gay!
Oops! Looks like I overlooked the Miami Baltimore game in yesterday's post. While Chad Pennington's Chad Pennington's career completion percentage continues to rank best of all-time, the Dolphins' "Wildcat" offense was crushed by the Ravens. (Total of 71 yards rushing). The Raven's had a nice "pick-6" of poor Chadwick and won the game, 27-13. The Baltimore defense deserves a cookie for this game.
I have no pictures for this game. However, I can bestow some completely random knowledge up on you, if you like: *Chad's name isn't really Chad, its James(his middle name is "Chadwick"). *Miami's only win last season was over the Baltimore Ravens. *Since 1999 the Ravens have returned 26 interception for touchdowns (obviously a record). *Dolphins are the only team to ever go undefeated. In 1972 they had a perfect season and unlike the Patriots, went on to win the Superbowl. *For the first 2 years the Ravens logo featured raven wings on a shield with the letter "B". However, the US Fourth Circuit Court of Appeals affirmed a jury verdict that the logo infringed on the copyright in a logo drawing by Derek Zero, a Boston amateur architect and security guard. (here, I thought being an architect was lucrative...essentially, he was a security guard who drew pictures). Either way, Zero is now a millionaire, courtesy of the Baltimore Ravens.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Week 5 in the NFL (better a date late than two!)
44-6! That is the only way to start this weeks recap. The WORLD CHAMPION NY GIANTS gave a swift 44-6 a** kicking to the Seattle Seahawks. The Giants played beautifully, Eli’s perfectly thrown pass to Hixon on their first drive of the game looked as if the hand of God had reached down to guide the ball safely into the end zone. Brandon Jacobs, 3 T.D.s, 106 yrds rushing; Hixon 1 T.D., 102 yards receiving, Eli Manning 2 T.D.s, no interceptions, 267 yards passing, 523 yards of total offense. Even David Carr had a touch down. It was as if receivers danced poetically in and out of their patterns, to a song written by angels, for Eli while the defense held the Seahawks to 187 total yards, as if they were guarding their end zone like the gates of heaven. It was as if....as if...Plaxico Burress didn’t even exist. You didn’t see that coming did you? Seriously, it was a flawless performance for the WORLD CHAMPS and an embarrassment for Seattle.
You may find it hard to believe but, there were actually other games on this Sunday. Another thing you may find hard to believe, Kerry Collins continues to lead the Titans to 5-0 with a 13-10 win over the Ravens this week. Why didn’t Kerry play like that for the Giants? (Actually he did, it was the rest of the team that decided not to play back then. You remember Tiki, don’t you?) Let’s see if they can keep this up next week, when rumor has it, the Titans plan on throwing Vince Young back in the mix. In my humble opinion Tennessee, if your quarterback is winning games, you just let him do his thing, I don’t care what your options are. If it aint broke, don’t fix it!
Apparently, the only time Kansas City shows up for a game is when they are screwing up by Survivor pool picks. (Stupid, Jay Cutler!!) Given their win last week, it looks like the Chiefs had something to prove this week..that they were still the worst team in the league. (Next to St. Louis, of course). Coach Edwards was quoted as saying “he didn’t see this coming.” Are you kidding? Did he mean the loss, or the shut out?!? Last week ended a 12 game losing streak for the Chiefs. Maybe he forgot. If he is wondering how they lost, I am happy to explain. Huard was less than 50% with his passing and two of his completed passes were to the other team. There is also the issue that he didn’t manage his second first down of the game until his fate was sealed 24-0. Oh, and did I mention the fumble? Come on guys, you really didn’t see this coming? Well see it now, because until you pick a quarterback and stick with him, it will keep happening. Changing your leading man every game creates the instability that guarantees losses. Wow! Maybe I should coach the Chiefs! Credit to the Panthers though, their defense was excellent, holding Larry Johnson to a total of 2 yards! Final score: 34-0.
Another embarrassment, though not quite as bad, was the Chicago Bears over the Detroit Lions, 34-7. Look at that Detroit. You are exactly one T.D. away from being as bad as the Chiefs. Good work! What was the best play call the Bears ever made? “Pretend Rex Grossman doesn’t exist, on three!!” Orton threw for 334 yards and 2 T.D.s. Detroit did nothing but suck.
Despite Aaron Rodgers’ 313 yards passing and 3 touch downs, 97 yards of penalties and foolishness allowed the Falcons to squeak by the Packers 27-24. But it wasn’t as exciting as the comeback of the week.... Peyton “the lesser” Manning, was being lead by the Texans by 17 points, when in pure Texans fashion...they blew it! They didn’t score again. In under 3 minutes the Colts scored 21 points. What happened next was just pure devastation for Steve Slaton who had two touchdowns and Mario Williams who had two sacks. They did all they could but their quarterback single handedly sealed their fate as contenders for the worst team in the NFL (aside from the Rams). It sounded something like this: Winless Texans about to beating the Colts by 17 with 8 minutes lef tint he game. Touchdown Colts! 4 minutes left int he game. Rosenfels back to pass, FUMBLE! Touchdown Colts!Colts down by three just over 3 minutes on the clock.Rosenfels back to pass again, he's SACKED and FUMBLE! Touchdown Colts!Rosenthal has a chance to redeem himself. There is still 2 minutes on the clock, Rosenfel is back, looks left and throws deep...and...it INTERCEPTED! Goodbye, Texans! *I actually had an entire section here announcing the play by play but, I edited it out. But that is why you will find the remainder of the recaps so short... I was actually going to put a picture here of Rosenfels Want Ad for friends, or make fun of how even the Dolphins didn't want him or his name being "Sage." But as the list of reasons to make fun of him got longer, I realized, it is just too easy and this guy already has it pretty rough. I mean look how cute and innocent and scared he is.... "Oh God, can you hear me? Its me Sage! Please? If you are done with Eli Manning can you please not let me drop this ball, again...everyone hates me! "
Miami beat San Diego 17-10. Chad Pennington throwing 22/29 is slowly but surely pulling the Dolphins out of the land of no return their 15-1 season sent them to last year. We will be back to hearing how Dolphins aren’t fish but mammals and how they are stronger than sharks, in no time!
Everyone sing with me! Cry, Eagles, Cry! All the way to last place in the NFC East...beat by the Redskins. 23-17.
Stupid Jay Cutler and the Broncos beat Tampa Bay 13-16. Despite throwing for his worst game all season Cutler managed a win this week....probably because he already lost the pool for me last week! This game was terrible. No one played well, it was just lucky.
Upset of the week was, Arizona over Buffalo, 41-17. The Cardinals were scoring like its their job, (wait it is their job!), the first three quarters, but absolutely nothing happened in the 4th. You could have turned off the tv.
I am sure you heard or read Ocho Cincos claims that he would kiss the Dallas star is he scored in Cincys game against Dallas. Well, he didn’t. Not only did Cincy lose their fifth game of the 5-week season, but Ocho Cinco did nothing. 3 receptions for 43 yards. Maybe next time. Ocho wasn’t the only clown in that game. Last week, T.O. said Dallas didn’t win because they didn’t give him the ball either. I can’t imagine he was happy about the win, since he only touched the ball three times...all game!
2 interceptions by Cassel was met with three interceptions by O’Sullivan. It was like they were trying to beat each other out in a game of “who can be the worst QB of the week.” Although, clearly they didn’t see the Texans game. Anyway, assuming they were playing to win, New England came out on top of the 49ers, 30-21.
Pittsburgh v. Jacksonville was down to the wire. Steelers took the lead at the end of the 4th with a TD and a failed 2 pt. conversion, but the win was sealed when the Jags turned the ball over on downs in the final seconds. Steelers, 26-21.
Saints wrote the recipe on Monday night for “How to Lose to the Vikings at home.” You take 2 interceptions by Brees and add 2 fumbles by Reggie Bush. You would think that would be enough, but just to make sure the loss turns out just right, you want to add 3 more fumbles by Drew Brees and wait until they result in Viking points. Then incase the Saints get in the red zone again, it is recommended that you seal the loss and top it off with 2 missed field goals. Come on Saints! What happened? You disappoint me, Reggie.
This week was a less exciting week with the WORLD CHAMPION NY GIANTS on a bye week, as were the Colts, Seahawks, Lions and Dolphins. But let’s get started anyway.
If you ever hear anyone say “Jay Cutler is a good quarterback.” You tell them to bite their tongue! This week he, and the Denver Broncos, lost to the Kansas City Chiefs. Yeah, the team I just made fun of for not having a QB a few posts ago; the team that actually thought about playing a wide receiver at QB. And Jay Cutler and his 2 interceptions cost me, $120K. Yup, I took the Denver Broncos over the KC Chiefs this week, and lost...despite the fact that, Cutler actually had 361 yards passing?? Well, the four turnovers didn’t help! I have to be be mad at someone...
The Carolina Panthers beat the Atlanta Falcons, 24-9. Muhsin Muhammad had 147 yards receiving, and Steve Smith had his first touchdown. Not the WORLD CHAMPION NY GIANT, Steve Smith. The other one. The one that punched his teammate and broke his nose...sound familiar? Well, I guess he is sorry, because Smith took the football he scored with, from a fan and gave it to his teammate, Ken Lucas, as an “I am sorry I broke your nose” present. Awwwww...now next time, he can steal the ball from someone else and give it to the fan he stole the ball from this week as an “I am sorry I took the football from you to give it to the guy whose nose I broke” present. Looks like Steve Smith started an ugly cycle. He made up for breaking someone's nose, by giving them a football, he took away from someone else...if you don't see the wrong in that,look here... [Caption: "Relax, kid! I'm thirsty, but my next game ball is allllll yours!"]
Ohhhhh guess what!?!? The Cleveland Browns won a game!! They beat the Bengals this week, 20-12. Lucky for Anderson, this may mean he gets to keep his job for another week. Sit down, Brady Quinn. I am sure you know how to do that, we all watched you sit for hours while you didn’t get drafted on national tv. (Nothing personal, as a Penn State fan I must hate all things Notre Dame). You know what else was lucky for Derek Anderson, he played the Bengals without Carson Palmer. Maybe next week, Brady.
Special teams wins the game for Jacksonville, again. Scobee, who I didn’t know existed until ESPN had an entire "Scobee Moment Montage" this weekend, kicked a 37 yarder through the uprights, in over time and the Jaguars beat Houston 30-27. PS. Houston is NOT good.
Deeeuuuuuuccceee McAllister outshone Reggie Bush this week and led the New Orleans Saints to a 'W' over the 49ers. I know, its just the 49ers, who haven’t had a player on their team I can name since, Steve Young. But maybe this means, Deuce is back! That’s exciting because now the Saints have 2 running plays! Run Reggie, Run Deuce. Come on, I love the Saints. No one hates the Saints, but you know you were tired of the same play! Nice Job, Deuce! Saints over ‘9ers, 17-31.
There was also an old timers game this weekend, where the old NFL quarterbacks game back to play each other...oh no, wait...that’s Brett Fav-ruh...and Kurt Warner? Yup, the too old guys of the NFL, hit the turf together and the older of the old won. Favre and the Jets, 35-56. And the Jets even wore their hideous throwback jerseys. Perhaps to make the old guys feel more comfortable. Just like old time, huh guys!? Kurt Warner even wrote Favre a nice letter before the game to show his good old time sportsmanship. Fav-ruh shares it with us below...
In the Battle of the Bays (Green and Tampa, yeah, I made that up!). Things didn’t go so well for Aaron Rodgers. He threw 3 interceptions and we got to see Matt Flynn play. I know what you are saying, poor guy, they took him out after just three interceptions? Nope, he was sacked three times and there were those 2 fumbles. Ok, lets be nice. Poor Aaron, he actually hurt his shoulder (and his feelings )and had to come out of the game. I am not ready to write Aaron Rodgers off yet, he has potential and to his defense, “Can he get a little help from his offensive line, please??” To be honest, the Tampa Bay defense was right on the money (kinda like the Kansas City defense was right on my money! Stupid, Cutler!). Don’t look too smug yet, Favre.
All these interceptions and you know who didn’t have any this week? Former, NY Giant, Kerri Collins. Can you believe it? Kerri Collins and the Tennessee Titans are 4-0 with the Minnesota Vikings being their latest victim. I didn’t watch the game, sorry. 17-30, Titans.
San Diego beat Oakland, 28-18. (Should have picked that game! Stupid, Jay Cutler!) I can talk about it if you want, but the Oakland Raiders played like the Oakland Raiders and even though Phillip Rivers has 2 interceptions and no one really had a break out day for the Chargers, when Oakland plays like Oakland you don’t need to do too much.
Buffalo is undefeated and I never would have thought they would be, but this week they proved nothing when they beat St. Louis. St. Louis is the new laughing stock of the NFL. I thought there would be more competition, you know with the Raiders and the 49ers, the Detroit Lions and the Miami Dolphins, but while those teams still have the potential to be no good, the title for the worst team in the league has clearly been claimed, early in the season, by the Rams. They took out Mark Buldger, who I am sure will leave the NFL after this year and never be heard from again, and replaced him with Trent Green. Yup, same guy who once played for the Dolphins! Good luck. Final score, 31-14, Buffalo.
Now, for the NFC Beast games. Ouch! That’s what Tony Romo felt when the Redskins put an end to all the “Cowboys are awesome chatter” we hear every year when the news is diluted with how great the Cowboys are, but every year they are quieted; This year it came early with a loss to Washington. Ouch! Yeah, that’s what Tony Romo and Dallas felt for a second time, when TO said “it aint my fault!” Give the ball to TO and win games, don’t give it to TO and lose games, sums up TO's post-game commnets. Either way, I don’t care. I am just happy that for at least the remainder of the season I don’t have to hear another word about the Cowboys possibly going 16-0. Not happening buddy...not this year! 26-24, ‘Skins.
With another upset in the East, Chicago beat Philadelphia. Which is great for me because any loss for Philly is a win for a Giants fan. The Eagles were short Westbrook and a few others, which is what I am sure they will blame the loss on, but as much as I would love to pick on the Eagles, the game was pretty boring. I am sure Bears fans didn’t think so, but in the end it was 24-20. Bears!
Monday night game is Baltimore at Pittsburgh.
Monday Night update: Looks like you are no where this year without a good kicker. Yet another OT decided by 3 points. After Pittsburgh managed to score TWO touchdowns in 15 seconds to take the lead, a Baltimore TD and Steeler's field goal tied things up at the end of regulation, but 46 yrd field goal in OT ended Pittsburgh over Baltimore. 23-20.
NFL TEAM: Arizona Cardinals POSITION: (Second String)Quarter Back; Carries clipboard for Kurt Warner AGE: 25 HEIGHT: 6 ft 5 in WEIGHT: 230 lb Matt won the Heisman Trophy as a Junior at USC and may not have done very much else with his football career, but since then, his athletic physique and dimpled smile have also won him, ESPN Hottest Male Athlete of the Year. He appeared in Cosmopolitan Fun Fearless Males 2006 and People Magazine 100 Most Beautiful People. He has starred on several television commercials, including one where he is a newly recruited member of the Manning family. He may not get very much play time anymore, or ever again, but that just gives you more time to check him out on the sideline, between plays! Not to mention, he can rock a 5 o'clock shadow, any time of day....
But as with all things in life, Matt isn't all cute dimples and stubble, there is another side to Mr. Leinart.
THINGS YOU MUST KNOW BEFORE DRAFTING MATT LEINART: He has been linked to Brittney Spears, Paris Hilton and Kristin Cavallari. (There may be a problem if you aren't blonde.) He shells out $15,000 per month in child support, to care for his illegitimate son, Cole, with a USC basketball player Brynn Cameron(also blonde). He still enjoys crowded hot tub parties and beer bongs.
ALSO, MATT LEINART IS LEFT HANDED!!!! *I am also left handed and in no way support on condone anything that nut job is saying, if you follow the link, but when I was searching around, I just couldn't ignore the insanity of that post.
But at the end of the day, I am sure he is a very clean boy! Ok, well...at least he is in this picture...
